HELP! Advice needed!! Donor sperm and no word from clinic

[MissyRiver]

Hello everyone,

I’m looking for advice regarding our clinic. We were due to begin our third round of IVF (after 2 failed ICSI rounds) but using donor sperm this time. My husband has recently been diagnosed with a chronic illness.

Due to me having lost my right Fallopian tube after an ectopic pregnancy, we were told to go for IVF. The problem is that we were due to begin in April. Since then, we have heard nothing from our clinic. I phoned two weeks ago and was reassured that I will receive a letter in the next fortnight with information and a Skype appointment for couples counselling required when using donor sperm. Unfortunately I haven’t received anything and this is now day 17 since my previous phone call. I phoned our clinic again today and was basically told that they couldn’t find us on their lists, they’re still managing with a skeleton staff and that I need to be patient. I burst out crying on the phone and continued to be very emotional as we have been with the clinic for 2 years now.

When the nurse did find our notes she said that she could see we that our last appointment was in January and there was no record of my phone call 17 days ago. The nurse did try to backtrack and said she understood etc... but that we needed to be patient and that there was something wrong with their computer system today (they say that a lot when they can’t find notes etc..) she was really nice but I was just taken aback by her first response to me. The website even states that if any couple was due to begin treatment and has not been contacted by the clinic then to phone them by 24th July.

Sorry for the emotional post but I really don’t know where to proceed from here. All I want is something black and white to come through our door to explain where the clinic is with our treatment. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Thanks x

[FluffyPink]

Really sorry to hear this. Does not instil confidence that they cannot find your records!

I’m not in UK but once we picked our sperm donor the sample came within 2-3 weeks from Cryos in June. We weren’t new patients, however and are with a private clinic. Donor eggs are a different matter (we’ve been told 4-6 months!)

The initial IVF consultation is the easy (talking) bit from the clinic’s point of view in terms of Covid and could be done over a video call. The counselling could similarly be done via video. There is no Covid-related reason why you couldn’t have been offered those by now.

I think you have been very patient and are at the point where you can ask to speak to someone in management and then request your appointment dates immediately. Keep phoning! You’ve been v reasonable. xx

[MissyRiver in reply to FluffyPink]

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I am going to phone again on Monday and this time I won’t break down over the phone. I’m usually very good at holding my emotions in but I just could not stop crying xx

[FluffyPink in reply to MissyRiver]

Been there, done that, sister! It was only six weeks ago that I sobbed down the phone to a nurse I have never met. Cried on a call this morning in fact but not sure if the nurse noticed! This process is just so tough and the longer it goes on the harder I find it. Good luck with your calls! xxx

[PixieB26]

Keep phoning, be as ‘annoying‘ as you need to be! I’m with a London clinic, and they are SO disorganised, this week I’ve had to call average once/twice a day, and I’m usually told different info by each person I speak to.

Make yourself and your ivf the priority and keep pushing for answers. Good luck!!

[MissyRiver in reply to PixieB26]

Thank you. I hate to come across as annoying or emotional as I know at the end of the day the clinic is trying to help us with our dream of becoming parents. I’ll phone again on Monday and try to be as calm as possible. Good luck to you too xxxx

[PixieB26 in reply to MissyRiver]

I totally understand, hence why I haven’t complained about all the things that have gone wrong and there’s been some bad ones. I have remained polite but persistent, as I’ve discovered via my own experience and other women I’ve met online going to the same clinic as I, that sadly the only way to make sure things are getting done, and done right is to keep contacting them.

I hope you get sorted soon!