Refused double FET

[Navy88]

Feeling a bit disheartened... we've only got one round of IVF left for us and 3 frozen embryos, I have requested to have a double transfer for our last go to give us our best shot. Had a call from consultant, they are refusing to do double FET as say the risks of twin pregnancy or an ectopic are too high want it to just be a single FET. I have already had 2 ectopic pregnancies previously, both ended in ruptured tubes being removed, apparently there can still be a stump left? Also have had 3 miscarriages and I have firm belief I cant carry boys (given I have a daughter) and I have always lost very early on. I am 31 and because I have successfully carried my daughter they feel it's too risky for double. Has anyone experienced similar? Cant help feeling this is a bad omen for our last attempt at a baby 😢 sorry for the rambling message!

[Millbanks]

Gosh you’ve really been through the mill haven’t you! I think ultimately it’s your choice no? I could be wrong but we’ve always been given then option to choose. Although judging by what you’ve been through maybe they are right to be cautious. Out of interest if you have 3 embryos why is this your last attempt? Good luck with whatever you decide xxx

[Navy88 in reply to Millbanks]

Hi basically it is financial, we borrowed a set amount of money to have IVF and certainly dont have any extra money after this so it's a case of last attempt really. Also we have had or ups and downs on the past and me and hubby both believe we need to draw a line somewhere, the emotional rollercoaster involved are too distressing. Which is also why we wanted the double FET so as not to leave too many embryos behind as it were. It's a hard call to make but we weren't expecting to have so many embryos to freeze as we only had a mild stimulation round..possibly another reason clinic is reluctant to do double. Just frustrating to have a decision taken from us x

[treezuk]

Given your history I would be cautious to however my clinic always gave me the choice and I opted for two they were fine with it and I’d had one ectopic I lost a tube and ovary due to a large cyst so only had one remaining tube and this was never mentioned to me as a possibility and I now have twins pregnancy was fine birth was fine.

[Navy88 in reply to treezuk]

Yeah it is a hard one, and I have got a colourful history. The main one they keep bringing up is my last ectopic i had one in the tube which ruptured and a yolk sac developing in the womb which i lost after surgery, they seem to have the belief this may happen again and 1 embryo would implant in a stump and other could be fine but end in miscarriage due to circumstances. I realise they have to be cautious, just sad we have to walk away from remaining 2 embryos and feels like we would have a better chance of success with a double. Will just have to keep everything crossed this cycle will work 🤞🤞

[treezuk in reply to Navy88]

Why walk away from two is that because they’re stored together or something I mean could you do the single now and if it doesn’t work then tell them you wanna use the remaining two and your take your chance because they’re your eggs you shouldn’t have to discard them because of being stored in a pair.

Tbf my clinic I used would never do something like that At least I don’t thinI they would.

[Navy88 in reply to treezuk]

No sorry I mean that we have 3 frozen, we can only afford one more round of IVF so if we dont get the double transfer, 2 embryos will be left in frozen storage. Its heartbreaking to think about but we just cannot afford another round after this one 🤷‍♀️😢 x

[treezuk in reply to Navy88]

Ah okay I understand so you can afford one more round but are you thinking of moving in to donor eggs or something else for that last round ?

So essentially leaving 2 behind unused.

Or am I confused 🤷‍♀️

[Navy88 in reply to treezuk]

Haha no so we have 3 embryos frozen, but can only afford one more FET. I was hoping to do a double transfer so only leaving 1 embryo behind but if not granted a double, will be a single transfer, meaning 2 embryos get left in frozen storage. X

[treezuk in reply to Navy88]

Ah okay I’m with you sorry I just think of rounds as rounds the whole thing and transfers as transfers so that’s my fault for getting confused.

I guess you have to keep talking with the clinic and hoping they change their mind.

[Navy88 in reply to treezuk]

Yeah I'm gonna keep pushing for it and hoping for the best 🤞

[Navy88 in reply to Navy88]

Sorry yes I've just realised I shouldn't refer to it as rounds. Our first cycle as it were only included the egg stimulation, egg collection and 1 transfer. So now we have the remaining 3 embryos frozen but have to pay for each FET individually

[aamiller405]

Are you with a private clinic or NHS? My understanding was that private clinic anyway you ultimately had the final say x

[Navy88 in reply to aamiller405]

We are private, yes that's what I thought too! The clinic we are with are very much based on natural and mild IVF so think partly is because it goes against their ethos of practice, they dont really promote multiple pregnancies etc so that is half the problem! I'm gonna keep chipping at it and hoping you never know 🤞x

[aamiller405 in reply to Navy88]

Yeah def keep at them.. im going to be asking for a double next time too and i imagine ill be met with the same resistance x

[Ivfgotadream in reply to Navy88]

Are you with Create? I’m with them also - are my reply below.........I’ve just done a 3 cycle package of natural modified

[cggregory]

Hi love, I’m sorry you’re going through this! My clinic told me they are strongly discouraging transferring multiple embryos for everyone right now because the increased risk of complications/hospitalization could put you at greater risk of contracting COVID. I wonder if that could be an additional factor in your clinic’s decision? I really hope it works out for you ❤️

[Navy88 in reply to cggregory]

Possibly, although we knew from the start the clinic ethos was to promote quality over quantity however still feels like should be given that choice 🤔 x

[Ivfgotadream]

I also lost both tubes to ruptured ectopics- ironically the second one WAS following a double embryo IVF transfer. I requested prior to surgery that they go back in the first ectopic Site and remove any stumps and also remove the last tube as close as possible to the uterus to reduce future risk. I was told still high risk for a c section ectopic though

I had a double transfer last month - 2nd one after my 2nd ectopic and I’m 7 weeks with twins!.

I had to argue quite strongly for a double transfer but here were my reasons

- all previous single transfers have been BFN (2 of them)

- we cant afford to do individual transfers - I’ve already done 5 egg collections and 3 previous transfers (£35k!)

- we can financially handle twins (just!)

- I have one daughter already and twins would complete our family. No intention to go back to transfer the 2 others we have frozen

- I PGS tested some embryos last year and didn’t get any “normals” - only abnormal and mosaic so the chance of twins was supposed to be very low 🤣

- I wouldn’t transfer 2x AA embryos together - in the end I transferred a 5BA and a day 6 4BB

My clinic were supportive probably because this was my 4th transfer and they looked at the history and quality of everything we’d managed to get to blastocyst over the last 5 cycles so multiples was unlikely 🤣🤣

[Navy88 in reply to Ivfgotadream]

Hi yes we are with create. Yes they said 2 of the embryos are AA / AB ratingand one BA so they feel as is high grade embryos it's a higher risk of multiples. However the first transfer didnt work which was supposed to be best grading which is why they want to keep it as a single FET, just annoying to have the choice taken away when they are our embryos and our money, I felt so out of control with previous ectopics and feels like that again. It may not be backed by science but I firmly believe I cant carry boys and if all the embryos are Male I believe they wont work no matter how good they are graded. So if put in 2 better chance as better odds 🤷‍♀️ maybe I could suggest having one better and one with lower grading? Did they use our age as a factor? The fact I'm 31 seemed to be a big reason as well x

[Ivfgotadream in reply to Navy88]

Yeah I definitely think your age is part of their decision and also it’s only your 2nd transfer? . I’m now 37 which helps (a lot of clinics have a minimum age of 37 for double transfers even though I had a double last year at 36)

Can you afford to do a single transfer and if that doesn’t work transfer the final 2 together? They might be more agreeable to that?

[Navy88 in reply to Ivfgotadream]

I wish we could but we had to scrape together a set amount of money to get us this far and aren't in a position to borrow extra so really is a last chance sit. Unless magically something changes just have tto hope we get a bit of luck with next FET 🤞🤞 x

[Ivfgotadream in reply to Navy88]

I’d stick to your guns and keep arguing with the clinic then - explain there is no more money which is what I told them but we’d remortgaged and took loans to spend £35k by that point and after 5 cycles I think they felt bad for us so pretty much agreed to anything we asked - it might be that they will only let you do the BA and the AA together but the chances of twins is something like 50%!

The other side is your still “young” in relative terms to lots of women these days so you could transfer 1 and then at least you know you still have 2 good embryos in the freezer to the try for a sibling in a couple of years when you’ve save the money x

[Navy88 in reply to Ivfgotadream]

Yes I'll keep trying. Yes they have said the same, we felt that personally we need to draw a line under it so we can emotionally move on if next cycle doesnt work however the guilt even talking about not using those eggs is heartbreaking. They will be there for a while so always there as a fall back option I suppose x

[Imperfect89]

I’ve recently had a review after a failed cycle & the consultant gave me the option of a double transfer. I said I asked for this last time & she said that because of the nhs being under pressure that clinics weren’t doing double transfer because of the nhs being able to look after complications in twins pregnancy. She said she offered me double this time because they are back on track & because I have carried two children.

Although clinics do do double transfers regardless of the risks.

This is your body, your embryos, if you are paying yourself you should be able to tell them what you want & them do it. I’m not sure where you stand with nhs funded though. Xx

[Navy88 in reply to Imperfect89]

Thank you, We are private so yes this is my belief too. I understand potential risks but given that any and all pregnancies have risks it seems a fruitless argument to me and as our last attempt we feel it would give us better odds for a successful transfer! I'm going to keep asking for it and hope someone changes their mind x