Crying because I have just broken my phone... HATE hormones! HATE trying to be positive when life just keeps throwing you S**T!

[JadeH92]

Going to bed knocked my phone off my table and snapped the charger in my phone! Couldn't care less about the phone materialistic things have never bothered me. Yet I'm sat here crying about it , just seems like another bad thing!

I know it is soo pathetic in the grand scheme of things, but I have been trying soo hard to be positive lately and it's just like s**t things just keep on happening.

I know none of this will be helped by the fact AF arrived today, which was bitter sweet. Obviously not pregnant (bitter) but trying to be positive I haven't had a natural period in forever (sweet).

I then realised (another blow after me thinking of the positive) that this means I will have to cancel my routine smear test which is booked for Monday. The smear I had to fight with my G.P for they could only fit me in at the end of July and I was planning on starting my FET as soon and I know the smear results can take 6-8 weeks and my clinic won't let me go ahead without the results (which makes sense).

I'm not blowing my own trumpet and I 100% don't do good deeds to get things in return but despite all my s**t I've been going through I have helped and supported lots of people recently and I just think when will I catch a break. The next person that mentions karma is getting throat chopped because it just doesn't exist!

Sorry if I sound like a self absorbed d**k, but just needed to rant and feel sorry for myself!

[TeenyTiny]

Sending you hugs 🤗

This is such a shit journey xx

[JadeH92 in reply to TeenyTiny]

Thank you so much & you are right it is!

Still in a bit of a mood today but it helps that you have just acknowledged it is shit and it's okay for me to feel shit!

I usually try my best to look at the glass half full (not in an obnoxious way though 😂😂) but NOT TODAY I just cannot be arsed.

I need to do the food shop so I am going to get ready buy myself loads of unhealthy food and wallow in my self pity all day and I CANNOT WAIT! 😂

Thanks again, take care ❤

[Stato]

There’s a card on ‘not another bunch of flowers.com‘ that says “please let me be the first to punch anyone who says that everything happen for a reason”. Thought that was appropriate for you! I’m sorry you’re going through this. Day 1 is always tough for us. Let yourself feel rubbish and treat yourself lots. Sending positive vibes x

PS I’ve also just had a smear. Didn’t consider I might need the result before starting IVF. Thank you.

[JadeH92 in reply to Stato]

Thank you for replying! That card is very appropriate 😂. Last night my partner was trying to help by being like well it's just one of those things, life can be unfair etc. and I just barked at him that I didn't want to be cheered up. I wanted to be allowed to feel sorry for myself and today I still do, so I am happily going to be grumpy today (luckily for him, he is in work).

Hope all is okay with your smear usually they take 2-4 weeks for the results to come back but then can take up to 8 weeks. So hopefully yours will come back soon and won't impact your process. I haven't been told that I won't be able to go ahead without the results by the way that is just me worrying / presuming, so I don't want my ridiculous anxiety to pass on to you and make you worry when it's not something that I have definitely been told.

Thanks again! Take care ❤

[Stato in reply to JadeH92]

So pleased to have helped in just a tiny way. And thanks for the smear info 👍🏻

One day at a time! Best of luck x

[JadeH92 in reply to Stato]

❤❤

[leo1980]

Good am so feeling your blinding rage! I am not going to say it’s normal because that pisses me off when people say it to me...just wanted to say hang in there - you are not alone if you are looking for a fellow warrior I am in a mood too! Just a thought - how much would it cost to do a private smear test? Not sure if it’s possible but worth checking private GP’s. Will that put you back on track? Also did you have phone insurance? If not Private message me and I can post you my spare iPhone. Not top of the range but will spare you the cost of shelling out! You can have it for free! Even though the world is being shit to us at the moment.. we don’t have to be shot to each other

[JadeH92 in reply to leo1980]

All you wonderful ladies have instantly made me feel better! Its shit you are in a the same mood but as the girls have said above it's okay to feel like that, EMBRACE IT 😂😂. My inbox is open if you want to vent and talk about how shit the world is!

😭 You actually made me cry! This is soo kind and thoughtful and I hope karma does exist and you get some good karma for being so lovely 😂😂. On a serious note though I am actually taken back by your offer, so THANK YOU! Now I am not longer in the middle of the mist I was in last night, I have found a wireless charger that works so this "crisis" is adverted. But like I have said above I am happily going to remain in my bad mood today!

Also I hadn't thought about a private smear, I am only spotting now so going to see how it goes on today / tomorrow and phone the doctors first thing to see if they could possibly still do it, but it is something I could consider 😊.

Thank you soo much again though for both your support and amazing gesture! Take care ❤

[Hartley1 in reply to JadeH92]

Agreed life is shit...I used to feel like this all the time...I used to go out of my way to help anyone and everyone and all I got was shitty MIL living with me hubby caught in the middle...shit at work crappy 3hr daily commute...i was sooo fed up and frustrated...and horrible ppl who are mean with everything I wanted...independence with no MIL living with them, their hubby at their side 24/7, complete family...

Then I took a break from it all...time off work...MIL went away for 3 months...Hubby at work...found myself again...

Hang in there...you'll get your smear soon...private may be an option like mentioned above... or just wait... time goes so bloody quickly it'll come round.

Focus on your AF after ages and yummy junk food...perfect way to chill with Netflix or just sleep...

You'll be fine xxx

[JadeH92 in reply to Hartley1]

So glad you here you was able to take that step back sounds like you really needed it! I hope things stay positive for you.

I have got my smear for the 11th July and I have spoken to my consultant yesterday; I have started the pill so I have a "proper period" in three weeks time. The I will start my second short protocol if all goes well (which it will... positivity and all that 😂) then my second transfer will be 2nd week of August.

I do think I've been dragging this comfort eating out a bit though... can another bowl of Ben and Jerry's tonight 🐷😂.

Thank you soo much for your kind words and support! It really does mean a lot ❤

xx

[Hartley1 in reply to JadeH92]

Things I guess always work out...sod it enjoy Ben n jerrys...I bought cookie dough...all sorts ..or something like that...was so yummy...me n hubby caned half tub each...all gone 😋...sometimes gotta be done! Xx Good luck...short protocol so much quicker...good xx

[Bubble123]

Hang in there, totally feel your pain. Sending you lots of love and light 🙏❤

[JadeH92 in reply to Bubble123]

Thank you soo much! Sending lots of love to you too 💕 xx

[hifer]

You’re being waaaay too hard on yourself. I would have cried having broken my phone, regardless of hormones and IVF and everything else. Let yourself have a bad day and then you can dust down and pick yourself up. You’ve been through a lot so it’s not at all surprising that you’re feeling like this. It’s great to support people but make sure you take some time out to support yourself too xx

[JadeH92 in reply to hifer]

😂😂 that made me feel a lot better thank you. I have finally snapped out of my mood now had my first appointment today so trying to be positive again but I 100% needed them down days.

Thank you soo much for your kind words and your support you are a star ❤.

Take care xxx

[happyseal]

I feel you...a giant hug 🤗 full of love 💕 💖 💗 JadeH92

[JadeH92 in reply to happyseal]

Thank you! Much appreciated! Sending one your way just incase you needed one too 🤗 🥰