Feeling down..: No matter how positive... - Fertility Network UK

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Feeling down..

E_05 profile image
E_05
17 Replies

No matter how positive Ive tried to stay today I can't seem to shake feeling down and a little bit bitter. Waiting to see my consultant to discuss starting my 4th cycle of IVF and feel like I'm tormenting myself with why I've been put on this cruel roller coaster of a journey..

Sorry for the negative post but how does everyone else cope with these days?

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E_05
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17 Replies
Leesalou profile image
Leesalou

Hi Hun,

I'm the same my positiveness is over shadow by the worst outcome,

I've waiting to start my 2nd cycle in July my mind is over time thinking constantly,

And I'm sure we are not the only ones,

Hopefully this is your 4th time lucky, 🍀🍀 ✨✨ xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Leesalou

Thank you, it definitely is hard to not think about the worst all the time. Wishing you lots of luck for your 2nd cycle x

_Rose_ profile image
_Rose_

Hello, us TTC sisters go through an array of emotions on a minute by minute basis .... It's not easy and there is no magic fix but one thing for sure is that we need to let this moment pass and then dream of the possibilities and the sweetness of what could be xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to _Rose_

That's very true, speaking on here has definitely helped me not hang on to the moments when I feel down, it's nice to know there's people who 'get it'. Thank you x

Jaky76 profile image
Jaky76

Sending you a big hug... I understand how this all makes you feel... I had 5 ivf treatments... And each time you trying to be positive and at times can take its toll.. You are very strong and will get through it.. Look what you have coped with so far... No one can feel happy all the time.. It's a dip.. You be out of it soon.. Don't be too hard on yourself... It's bloody cruel yes we have to go through this... But hang in there... Lots of love Jackie x 😊💋

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Jaky76

Thank you, definitely is a roller coaster of emotions and we don't have much choice but to hold on tight! Hope things are going well for you now x

Coracle profile image
Coracle

So sorry. Something my ivf consultant said which helped me, was that statistically a lot of ladies will need 3 or 4 goes, and you shouldn't be seriously concerned until 4 failed cycles, and even then everything should be looked at carefully, but taking age into account. This is why NICE the national advice body is saying that ideally, everyone should have 3 cycles on the NHS, but sadly the funds are not there in most areas. (I had 3 failed fresh, then 1 failed fet and am now 44. I knew it was sensible to stop with my own eggs at that point. Am now in a DE cycle)

Hang on in there. It is hard. Give yourself time, I found like Jackie there are ups and downs. Be kind to yourself. It will get better. Lots of love xx

Coracle profile image
Coracle in reply to Coracle

And what am I doing today to help me through the ups and downs? Cuddles with my cats... hugs with hubby... out in the garden planting a hanging basket and enjoying the sunshine and the smells and sounds.. a spot of mindfulness (check out headspace.com) and er, comfort eating!

I checked out your profile and was so sad your last cycle failed only a few weeks ago. Big big hugs. xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Coracle

Thank you so much for all the info, my consultant has never said anything like that to me. After my 2nd cycle (first frozen) last year he told me it was disappointing it hadn't work I said it's a lot more than just disappointing for me! It's crazy that it comes down to a post code lottery, I know I'm fortunate that I'm entitled to 3 fresh and 3 frozen but it's so unfair that not everyone is.

That must of been a hard but very brave decision to make using DE, hope things are going well for you xx

Coracle profile image
Coracle in reply to E_05

That is really great you get 3 fresh and 3 frozen, I didn't realise some areas get as much as that, that's great. But the marathon of going through it is certainly NOT great!

But you are clearly a strong lady. Keep going. See what they say at your follow up.. but don't rush things if you need a bit more time to recover? xxx

I actually have transfer booked for tomorrow! It has been a hard decision, and I still have wibbles at times.. but I feel so attached to 'our' eggs and 'our' embies already so that is already starting to help my wibbles xx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Coracle

Definitely agree with the hugs, I love cuddles from my puppy who I got last year after I miscarried..she's as old as I would of been pregnant and became my little life line.

I know I feel very fortunate, I don't know if it's to do with my age to as I'm 26. Very true, I think because frozen cycles you can start within 3 months I just keep throwing myself back into it but I am thinking about taking some time to sort my head out this time.

I'm glad to hear that, will keep everything crossed for you for your transfer tomorrow xx

Jaky76 profile image
Jaky76 in reply to Coracle

Good luck tomorrow... Hope you like me.. Straight away it felt tight and gave been in a much better place than all previous cycles.. Where are you for treatment.. UK or abroad? Xx

robbie03 profile image
robbie03

Firstly just well done on hanging on in there through everything you have been through. I admire your strength!! I hope this next cycle will be everything you hope for, keep that dream in mind and know there's lots of support here for you cheering you on! Xxx

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to robbie03

Ah thank you! I really hope so to, hope things are going well for you? Xx

Jaky76 profile image
Jaky76

Ah it's so hard... I'm 40 and after 2 Negatives and 2 miscarriages all self funded as doing this on my own and NHS won't fund... I felt broken especially after 3 were long protocols and so felt I had invested all my emotions, health and sanity in each round ... But I was so desperate to be a mum and something pushed me again and I changed clinics to a Greek clinic and also Donor eggs now... Obviously I was sad to move on from my eggs but didn't last long.. And Donor gave me 4 great embryos, 2 put in and 2 frozen... I'm now 13.5 weeks pregnant with one, all ok so far.. Never got this far.. But feel so much more relaxed and feel 100% they mine and my blood running through the baby.. No wierd thoughts...but for you so pleased at least you have 3 fresh and 3 frozen, one less stress... But hold in there... Fingers crossed for next time.. You be scared each time.. Natural... 💋 💋

E_05 profile image
E_05 in reply to Jaky76

Ah I'm so sorry to hear that, why wouldn't the NHS fund any of cycles? That is so true, my fresh cycle was a long protocol and i definitely agree how it messes with your emotions.

I know I will go for another cycle, I to desperately want to be a mum and I always think to myself what's going to be harder mentally to live with the 'what if' of never trying again or the 'what if' and see what could happen.

Massive congratulations to you, I'm so glad it has worked with DE, I hope your precious baby continues to grow healthily xx

Jaky76 profile image
Jaky76 in reply to E_05

Because. Single and when started treatment was 38. Thanks me too.. Taking each day as it comes.. But u keep on... Sending loads of positive vibes.. Loads of love 😍 xx

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