Hubby has an inguinal hernia

[Hopeandhell]

Hi ladies,

Just when we thought this journey couldn’t get worse. Hubby went into hospital with a pain and it turns out it’s a hernia. It’s in his groin area and we were told an operation could damage his left testicle. There’s a small risk but not one we want to take. We are going to see our ivf consultant on Monday and I texted him today. He’s confirmed that frozen sperm is a good idea. I just feel so overwhelmed. I’ve gone back to work and it’s so hard. The kids keep asking me about my baby and how she is. Really hard to explain to them that she died and the look on their faces- Heart breaking.

I’m still carrying baby weight and need to drop this on top of this the fear of ivf not working again and the fact that I will have to have a cerclage.

But my poor hubby having this has really upset me. I want him to get better but worry about what might be around the corner.

Plus, my younger sister is pregnant and whilst I’m happy for her I’m frightened that things will go wrong. It’s so hard as she had a loss at 12 weeks and she feels anxious too.

Am I ever going to have the chance to be a mum again! I’m just so angry that my baby died.i loved her so so very much and honestly would’ve been happy with her being an only child.

[ttcemmie]

Sorry to hear about all this my love. Another thing you don't need! This is a really unfair journey, and you have every right to be angry, but don't give up the hope. This isn't the end of the road for you. I also just want that chance to be a mum and find this whole situation overwhelming at times. There's always another obstacle, another heartache. Thinking of you. xxxx

[Hopeandhell in reply to ttcemmie]

Thank you for replying to me. I just go through days where I feel so tired. We tried naturally for almost eight years and then our first ivf worked. I read a quote today ‘when life gives you the most unexpected dream, it’s normal to grieve it’s loss’. Definitely feel this. We have an appointment with the fertility doctor on Monday. Let’s see why he says. Sending lots of good vibes your way. X

[ttcemmie in reply to Hopeandhell]

Oh I know! Some days are absolutely exhausting. Today was one of those days for me. I can't imagine what's it's like to go through losing a baby like you have. It must be absolutely the worst thing in the whole world, and I won't pretend to understand the emotions involved. Our first IVF worked too, but miscarriage at 13 weeks (I thought we were safe; I wasn't worried in the slightest - next pregnancy is going to be super anxious). Let us know how you get on with the fertility doctor. Good vibes to you too. I'm starting my injections tomorrow, which I'm looking forward to, but also worried that I'll do everything right! xxx

[Hopeandhell in reply to ttcemmie]

It’s awful isn’t it. Once you think you are safe and you have the rug pulled out. Genuinely one of the most traumatic things I’ve ever experienced. I couldn’t speak for about three weeks. I had an interview for a job as I wanted to go to a different school. the adrenaline took me back to the hospital and Neo natal ward and I felt like I was going to pass out. I came home after and slept for four hours solid!

Best of luck with the injections. My consultant said once IVF has worked it’s likely to work again. Sending lots of happy thoughts x