My hubby is 31 and had only 20,000 sperm in his analysis results last week. I have mild PCOS however after months on 1500mg of Metformin I ovulate myself and my tubes are clear.
We were told we had 0.5% chance of natural conception and having read the live birth success rate of ICSI it's only around 30% for women under 35.
This low chance of being able to start a genetic family has really hit me hard. I believe I was born to be a mother and I really don't know what the purpose of life is otherwise.
Both me and hubby are struggling with the news and the horror stories of IVF online are not helping.
Any supporting stories from like minded females would be greatly appreciated.
Praying this is all a part of god's plan.
Written by
MrsH007
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I remember feeling this way when we first realised we weren't going to be able to conceive naturally. Like you, my husband has low sperm count, mobility/motility & we're currently going through our second icsi cycle. Allow yourself time to process it but at some point you will accept it and have a plan of action.
Age is really on your side (we found out when I was 36) and the chance is there, it's just the journey you and your husband will have to take. You'll find a lot out about yourself and each other and it will hopefully, ultimately strengthen your relationship. Just make sure you're there for him as much as he needs to be for you. Men don't communicate that well and it was only after being overtired and snappy that my husband had a wobble, admitting he felt so much guilt about it all.
Good luck, it's a long road but you will get there xx
Indeed men are from mars and women from Venus, all I want to do is talk it through and all my hubby wants to do is retreat to his man cave in silence.
I also view it as a journey which will see us grow together as it is a very exclusive couple only process which I know must be seen as a joint 'project' if you like. Hope you and your hubby get the outcome you need.
Hi Tynemouthmrs. Just wanted to add that I have been in the infertility field for 21 years now, and believe me, I have had many,many beautiful babies born through ICSI. Admittedly not all of them have happened first time, ut if you are prepared to try it could happen for you. Good luck! Diane
Last year I was diagnosed with pcos, even though I knew I must have had it for years.
I was referred to the fertility specialist and we were told that due to my lack of ovulation and my partner's low motility we would need to go straight to icsi.
I was so sure we'd be given Clomid and that would be that, so I was in disbelief and convinced it wouldn't work.
Long story short, a year later and everything went to plan and right now I'm typing this message in Debenhams while feeding my baby daughter.
I don't want to come across as bragging, I just wanted to share this with you because I would have felt reassured by a story like this a year and a half ago.
I was 31 when I had the treatment. Every case is unique, but it worked for us and I really hope it works for you too.
What a lovely thoughtful note. Thank you so much. You are very blessed and I appreciate your encouragement. I hope one day I can share mine with someone else too!
Hi I was in a similar situation. I didn't have pcos but my hubby had an extremely low count and poor motility too. We tried for 3 years to conceive without any joy. We were advised by an NHS clinic we stood 5% chance of natural conception and ICSI would be the recommended treatment. We were also advised we didn't not qualify for NHS funding. We decided in January 2016 to approach a private clinic based in Darlington for more information. Our treatment commenced in September 2016. We managed to produce 8 eggs but only 2 fertilised because of hubbys poor quality sperm. 9 months later on the 12th June 2017 I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.
Hi, myself and my Hubby had 3 attempts at ICSI IVF and were successful on our third attempt. I was 40 years old when I gave birth and we now have a beautiful daughter who is 13 months old.
ICSI was our only hope of conceiving. My husband had extremely low sperm count due to tumour medication and I had low levels so not a great combination. We were advised that the success rate would be 30% thru ICSI.
On our last attempt, we threw everything at it - higher/maximum medication doses, endometrial scratch, acupuncture...anything that we could.
Don't give up hope. Going thru treatment was extremely tough and you must talk with your husband about absolutely everything.
Definitely don't give up hope and don't pay too much attention to those stats - everyone is different and so these stats aren't perfectly tailored to you and your situation. They take account of lots of different fertility issues, ages, people etc.
After years of tying my husband and I were also told we needed ICSI due to his low sperm count (which is quite a bit lower than your husband's!). We did one round this year. It wasn't easy at all, I won't lie, but totally worth it. We were lucky enough for it to work first time and I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant and praying as well as crossing my fingers and toes that we'll be welcoming a baby next year. And I'm 35.
On reflection as I now hold my 9month old, I almost feel our journey was meant for us. I think as a family we appreciate each other a lot more because of the pathway that was chosen for us.
It's very normal to feel all those things and without making you feel worse but there will be many more emotional hurdles. However my advice would be try to stay positive as there are many more people out there in the same situation who feel the same.
Take each stage at a time and try motto think too much about the end result as I felt it was so far away at times.
Most of all talk to those close to you so when you do have a down day then can offer you the comfort you need.
Hi Tynemouth_mrs, like many others that use this forum i myself was in almost the exact same position as you, struggling to come to terms with the fact i would probrably never concieve naturally... and it is a really hard pill to swallow! This forum helped me get through the hardest times as men arnt the best with communication! and you will need to rant or talk things through alot of the time with someone.
I had secondary infertility as i had a son before my diagnosis to a previous partner which ment me and my husband would have to pay for all our treatment, my husband had a low sperm count and i had blocked tubes and PCOS. We had a few financial problems and thought there was no way we could find the money (£5000) let alone waste it on a 30% success rate, but 30% is 30% and decided after a very kind offer from my sister that we would give it our best shot.
My 1st appointment was April 2015 and by October 8th 2016 our buddle of joy was born, and i still to this day while watching him potter round the room wonder where he came from, i carnt believe he is ours... we defeated the odds and kicked infertilitys butt (still paying for it like but we did it lol) We were one of the 1st time success couples and i feel so lucky to be able to share my story giving others the hope and faith that may help them in even the smallest way.
Instead of worrying it would never work i began to read or watch vlogs to try educate myself further....i started to look at all the reasons it WOULD work instead of the reasons it may not. The most important thing i learnt was to make sure i took each day, appointment and procedure 1 step at a time because whilst going through ICSI its quite easy to run ahead of time trying to plan ahead setting expectations that more than likely won't happen the way you planned which leads you to having more fustration, anxiety and feeling more overwhelmed than you needed to be which really isnt good for you while going through your ICSI cycle! Id highly recommend trying accupunture before your cycle will help with relaxing and blood flow to your reproductive organs.
If you would like to ever ask any advice or information im happy for you to message me, you could also have a look through my page at some of the stages and steps i went through i tried to document as much as possible so i could look back as a reference for future cycles.
sorry its such a long post🙈
Wishing you all the very best with your ICSI cycle x
Thank you ever so much for taking the time to write this to me. I will most certainly take your advice and will also read your historic posts. thanks again!
I have done ICSI twice, and I know lots of women who have too and all with great success! They inject a sperm into each egg. 1st time we had 18 eggs collected 11 mature 9 fertilized 3 blasts. (Had miscarriages recently found out it's because hubby is a carrier for c4m2) 2nd time was this August we got 54 eggs 45 mature and a whopping 33 fertilized 11 were suitable for freezing as had to cancel transfer as was in hospital on day of collection. But just so you know it is very successful and even with low sperm count I haven't read a bad story or heard one regarding icsi
Hope you're ok? I know how you're feeling and it's tough. My husband didn't have anything in his sample and we've been referred to the local fertility clinic. We have our next appt on 10th October - we're hoping they'll say they can help us by retrieving the sperm straight from the testicle then complete IVF with ICSI - they gave us loads of information and websites to read on (this is how I found this app!) but it's so much to take in. And there is some not so nice stories out there but I've heard so much more positive stories so don't become too disheartened by it all. It's a tough journey and we're all at different stages of our journey but the support on here is unbelievable and has made me feel a whole lot better about everything!
We had the same situation with no sperm in his sample. My boyfriend had a small operation to retrieve and freeze his sperm, then when they collected my eggs they used ICSI. We now have a 10 month old son so another success story! Stay positive. Good luck x
That's so lovely to hear! Thanks for replying! We've been waiting a while to get the appointment date and when we got the call I felt a lot better! It's not too far away now and it'll be here before we know it! ☺️ x
I know it's hard to fill your head with stats as that's all we have in the early stages and we want as much info as possible, but everyone is different and there are SO many success stories so try and keep positive. We had to have ICSI and the whole process is stressful and tough but I'm sat here after putting my 10 month old to bed! Our first attempt didn't work but our second did and we still have two frozen embryos. Trust me...you will get there!
Best advice I was given is to take one step at a time and take as much time as possible to rest. It's hard to imagine things working out when things are so unknown but just have faith in the doctors they will give you your miracle xx
Hi, I'm also the same as lots of other ladies here. Like you I have mild PCOS (but never been medicated for it) and my hubby has low count, motility and morphology. We were essentially told naturally would never happen for us. We were lucky and our first ICSI cycle was successful and I now have a 16 month old and am about to embark on an attempt to have a second. I don't think the stats really reflect the cause of infertility. If predominantly male factor then ICSI is great for that and even with mild PCOS theres no reason your body shouldn't accept a fertilised egg, especially given your age (plus the medication you're on with IVF forces your body to mimic a natural pregnancy so in essence overcomes the PCOS issue). 30% also seems low to me. I'm sure my clinic are more around the 40% mark so worth looking into whether you have a choice of clinics and if so doing some research into their success factors for different ages/treatments and causes of infertility. Good luck!
Should also say that the success rates that clinics quote are per cycle, not per overall treatment time. So if my maths is correct and using your 30% chance of it happening the over 2 cycles it increases to 51% and over 3 cycles then 66%. I do wish they would publish stats which said % success over all cycles as I think it would be really interesting but I think they'd find it too hard to monitor that.
Thank you for your thoughts. How wonderful that it worked first time with you and hopefully it will work a second time round too! Appreciate your info on stats, I think I've got too hung up on the worry of it not working and then feeling like there are no other options after that. Thank you
Yes my clinic's stats are definitely higher that 30% for your age group.
You are both very young & sounds like you are in good health. My hubby has a v low sperm count too but I've been told many times by our clinic that they only need 1 sperm per egg so the count wasn't an issue.
Your hubby should concentrate on making sure that his swimmers are in good condition, Proxeed or something similar is good for him to take. Minimal alcohol & a good diet too! Mine did & we got pregnant naturally after 3 failed rounds, unfortunately it was ectopic but it did happen!
We are now trying donor eggs as I'm over 40 & they think that the egg quality is more of an issue (& refuse to check my tubes so no idea what state they are in!).
My hubby and I were in a very similar situation. We are about to embark on round 2 of icsi. He had very low sperm count and motility but we found that after 6 months of him taking high dosage vitamin c and zinc plus folic acid and cutting back on alcohol and caffeine, his sperm count and quality has massively improved. They don't tell you this at the clinic! Don't give up, and try not to take all the stats too seriously. Things can change x
Hi, it's like being punched when you first realise it may never happen for you. You go on a rollercoaster of emotions. We ttc for 5 years with 1 year of 2 cycles of ICSI. We have not been successful and are now working through our acceptance that we will be childless. However, I am glad we have been through the IVF process. It's made us stronger as a team. We have a bond that is different from other couples I think. Also, we don't have what if running through our minds. I thought you might appreciate a post from someone for whom it hasn't worked but they were glad they did it. I wish you the best of luck for your treatment. Xxx
Thank you for being so honest. I appreciate it. I think you did the right thing to try and that is exactly what I hope we do. Just so there are no what ifs so you can move on. Thanks again!
I have just read your status and it was starting to freak me out due to the fact it was like reading exactly the same as my situation lol! Everything you have said is me and my partner also! My partners mobility is below 1% which is not great I have mild pcos and currently on metformin whilst trying to save for next round. I haven't got a success story yet but I'm hope I will be second time lucky. Keep positive tho we can go through it together xxxx
We did ICSI 3 times. First time didn't achieve a pregnancy, the second and third time achieved pregnancy but had miscarriages diagnosed at the first scan. Was devastating to go through all that and not have the result we wanted. We couldn't afford to go through any more cycles (both financially and emotionally) so we've just settled as we are. I am lucky to have a son from when I was in my twenties who is now 19 so I have been lucky to experience motherhood. It just didn't happen with my true love.
It is a lot to go through, particularly for the woman and you must really have a strong commitment to the process to go along with it. Age is definitely on your side. The above all happened to me when I was already 38 and I wish I'd pursued things much earlier. I had no idea how low the success rates are when you get older and wish I had known that earlier on.
Good luck with your journey, whichever way it goes X
Hi, I (aged 25) have PCOS, blocked tube and husband low sperm count (aged 30). We used metformin, no luck. Then went to ICSI. First cycle was successful and now I am 19 weeks pregnant. Due February 2018 and feeling amazing.
2 years of trying has been worth it and I cannot wait to meet our little baby. IVF is hard but its now in the back of my mind. ICSI worked for us but obviously there are many factors involved. I took the 2 weeks after implantation off work and had a lovely time relaxing and visiting places.
I am fit and reasonably healthy but I didn't get obsessed and stop drinking alcohol or changed my diet. I did stop alcohol just before egg collection and stopped exercising due to injection making me sore but it was all so worth it.
Hiya hunn don't feel discouraged! My husband only had 2 thousand and my left tube blocked with severe scar tissue from erupted ipendix when I was younger.. I now have 3 blastocysts on ice.. it's been a long time this is our 3rd cycle as my first one I didn't respond great to the stimms so we had to cancel that cycle then my second cycle I over reacted and developed OHSS so froze my 3 blastocyst .. now on to my 3rd cycle! I have my lining scan on Monday for my FET 💕 Hopefully I have the all go ahead on Monday and get my transfer date 😊.. 20 thousand is good! They only need the 1 sperm hunn and ICSI is good for that as they choose the best 1 ❤️ Good luck for your future and stay positive xx
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