Hi all, we had our first round of ICSI November 2019 which sadly failed. I have a low AMH of 7.2 and am 36. Hubby is 37 and has low motility and having just gone through this round we now know that after the sperm wash he also has low count.
On our first round we got 6 eggs, 3 fertilised and I had one transferred on day 3 which was 8 cells but BFN. We had our review yesterday and got told that all 6 eggs were mature but the embryos had fragmentation and that it is likely a diagnosis of poor egg quality and that the eggs were difficult to inject, I am crushed. I have not been able to stop crying since yesterday and I didn’t sleep last night. The consultant has now given us a 20-25% chance on our next cycle (was previously 35%) we are due to start our second ICSI cycle on Monday.
I feel so sad and wondering if it’s worth even going through with it all given the news?! I was on Menupor 300 and we are doing the same but this time with a mix of Bemfola I think it’s called. Also I bled 9 days after transfer and had bad night sweats so I am being given Lubion this time as well as the cyclogest twice a day.
How can I stop feeling so tearful and down about it all, I feel like it’s never going to happen for us 😥
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I just wanted to offer a virtual hug. We had something similar happen in December with our first cycle of IVF...15 eggs fertilized but all very fragmented by day 3. Nothing good enough to put back or freeze. It was devastating, and I completely understand those hopeless/powerless feelings.
My consultant mentioned that sometimes the stimulation protocol can impact egg quality, so we are changing protocols next time (new drug and lower dosage for me, as I was a high responder even though I have a borderline low AMH of 11). It sounds like you’re being put on a slightly different protocol, too, which is a good thing.
I’ve also started taking Ubiquinol and myo inositol, both of which are meant to help with egg quality. It helps me feel like I have at least some control. Maybe you can ask your clinic about supplements they’d recommend? I’d also recommend the book “It Starts with the Egg”; it’s really helpful and informative.
Most of all, I just want to say that you’re not alone. All of the unknowns are so frustrating, but just remember how strong you are. Lots of love ❤️
Thank you for your lovely message. Do you mind me asking how old you are and what percentage chance they have given you? I can’t seem to get the figure out of my head and it’s all I’m focusing on at the moment which I know isn’t doing me any good!! I am on pregnacare tablets but as I start my next cycle on Monday I think it’s too late to start anything else now for it to be beneficial xx
No problem! So I am 32 (33 on Saturday). At the beginning of the process - because I am relatively young, have normal periods, and all our tests came back normal (“unexplained infertility”) - they gave us a 50% chance per round. When our first round failed (after 23 eggs were collected / 15 fertilized), they were baffled. The timing of the fragmentation suggests that the eggs were the problem, but the clinic didn’t notice anything unusual with my eggs, and they said at my age it’s very unlikely that all of my eggs are just inherently bad. That’s why they’re thinking that the stimulation protocol may have contributed to the poor result.
They didn’t give me a revised prognosis because they really need to see how the second cycle goes before drawing any further conclusions (i.e. whether it was “bad luck” or whether there actually is an underlying problem with my eggs). I hate the uncertainty, but they still seem optimistic that next time will be better with the changes they recommended. Hope this is at least a little helpful! ❤️
That’s very helpful thank you so much and happy birthday for Saturday. My nhs clinic is not very upbeat I have to say, and if this one fails then we are going private. I wish you the best of luck on your journey 💕
You have to carry on, don’t lose your hope you never know what will be the outcome unless you try again. All cycles are so different worth to try again. Are you not trying to improve the sperm of your husband this also might help a bit?
Thank you for your lovely message, yes I have hubby on vitamins and no baths no right boxers etc. I hope the next cycle will be different for us. I just don’t want this to feel so all consuming, I got sent home from work today because I couldn’t stop crying xx
I was just asking as my husband also have low motility, first test motility was completely 0. We insisted 4 years to have a medicated treatment for him but they said that cannot be improved. We changed the doctor and she prescribed him Menopur, after 3 months of treatment the test came back normal. Maybe is something that you also want to consider in future...
It went really well and thank you for asking 🥰. I am not in any pain 🙏 but I had extra painkillers (injections) at the clinic as my first EC was traumatic and I was in too much pain. I had 16 eggs collected 10 mature and 8 fertilised ❤️ . We are waiting for more updates tomorrow morning from our embryologist.
Thank you! I am definitely happy! Hope that we will have enough embryos making to day 5. Hope that everything will go well for you on your next try, be positive 🍀❤️
I know it’s difficult when you don’t get the news you’re hoping for but just wanted to give you a little ray of hope. I did 3 fresh cycles on long protocol with Gonal F (I have a lower AMH of 9 and hubby has some motility issues), we always did early transfers and never anything to freeze. For my fourth, we moved clinics and did a short protocol on Menopur and Bemfola. Our fertilisation rate went from 40-50% to 90% and we got three perfect embryos in the freezer. Just done my first FET and got my BFP.
I know it might seem like you’re fighting a losing battle but hang in there, hopefully the change up of drugs will be the thing you need. Big hugs xxx
We actually did a freeze all cycle so I did my collection in October and then had a couple of months to recover before doing my frozen transfer two weeks ago. All three we froze were day 5 blasts x
That’s amazing, so happy for you and how wonderful to know that you have some left over too. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me, it means a lot xx
It is so hard 😞 I’f your clinic have said you still have a chance, you do. These people are not behind the door about telling people the truth from my experience. The changes to your protocol all
Sound really positive 🧐 lots of changes to help you as much as they can by the reads of it? Feels very frustrating indeed. Get some rest and by Monday you should hopefully be ready for action. I’m a bit older than you and my husband has every possible sperm problem yet still I was told I had a chance. 🤷🏼♀️ I think the percentages for most people are 50% under 35 , 40% 35-37, 30% over 37 etc. So yours is around what it is . Think we all feel like it’s never going to happen on this wall if that’s any help.
You are not on your own 😘
We are all in the same boat pet 🚣♀️ ......and at times it feels like we are in boat,
there’s a hole in it,
you’ve broken your wrist and there’s a tidal wave 🌊 coming at ya 🤣
......but somehow amongst this stormy mess I keep seeing and hearing of boats reaching the dry land (bfp)🌟
Wishing you the best and sending hugs of understanding to you as you row on ivf sister 💐💐💐💖💖💖💖💖🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 You can do it 🤩💖💐🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
That reply has just made me burst into tears because you all understand exactly how it feels. Thank you so much, I will try and sleep tonight as I have been awake since 2am crying and hopefully I will feel a bit stronger in the morning xx
We get it indeed 😘😘😘💐💐💐You poor pet, wish I could meet you with our fellow ivf sisters for a group hug. You are exhausted 😩 in every sense of the word...... may you sleep deeply and wake with fresh energy and a renewed outlook tomorrow.
Be kind to yourself and take tomorrow off if you need too. Maybe a day to relax , eat nice things and just breathe in the space is what you need? You will know yourself.
Hello. This is such a horrible thing to go through but please don’t give up. My OH had very poor sperm on all counts and even had 100% bound antibodies. This was all due to a vasectomy 14 years ago which he had reversed. When we started on our ivf journey ( because of our sperm) I was then told that my AMH was 2.3. The first consultant we saw basically told us not to bother with ivf. Very dark days followed but thankfully we didn’t give up. We got a second and third opinion. The third consultant we saw was absolutely amazing and I’m now 40 weeks pregnant from our first round of icsi. I was on low dose stims (150 bemfola) high dose stims are believed to harm egg quality. I only had 2 eggs collected but they both turned into good embryos. The fist two consultants gave us less than 5% chance. Wipe those tears away and keep fighting. You’ve got this 💪🏻Xx
Thank you for your message. It’s interesting that you say about getting a second and a third opinion because if this second cycle fails then we will be going Private and I will be very interested to hear what they have to say. I don’t understand how they come up with their percentage figures, ours was 35% before the first cycle and now they are saying 25%, I guess they are Basing this on the results from the first cycle thinking that the second cycle will be the same when I hope and pray that it would be slightly different for us. Congratulations on your pregnancy you must be absolutely over the moon having been given the 5% chance and I think it just goes to show that they don’t know everything xx
Hi hun. There are no easy answers but I just want to say that you're not alone. I remember feeling like this when my first one failed. This is the most heartbreaking experience. But somehow I keep fighting. I'm exhausted but u have to fight. I dont know what would happen if I stop.
You are absolutely right it is such a heartbreaking experience to go through and it is only speaking to people on here that I feel I can really relate to people. Family and friends try their very best to understand but I think that unless you have gone through it yourself you don’t truly appreciate just what a gruelling undertaking it really is. I wish you the best of luck in your journey and sending you positive vibes xx
I am 36, DH 37 and we had a failed ivf cycle in Nov. My AMH is borderline low at 11.
I was on Buserelin and max dosage for Gonal F and they only collected 7 eggs. 4 eggs were of good size and fertilised but only 2 made it to 5day embryo stage. We had one optimal quality embryo transferred but dr. didn't mentioned our potential chances for success, they said is just the standard for our age. The lining was 14.2 two before egg collection day (again which was very good apparently).
10 days after ET i started to spot and with every day the flow increased and became bright red and i bled for a good week.
I also had a FAINT positive test result on OTD and after but it went back to negative afterwards. I was devastated and couldn't stop crying for days.
At the debrief app the dr explained that the faint positive htp meant the embryo hatched but she couldn't explain why it didn't implanted as it had optimal changes for success.
It is also worth mentioning that our embryo transfer was done by a nurse in training and because we were with NHS we couldn't say anything against it. When it failed i hated her and I will always think that if we had an experienced dr doing the transfer we could have had a better chance.
We were scheduled to do the FET in 2 months and even started to consider adoption and like magic this month we had fallen pregnant naturally. (I only have one tube).
Stay strong. It will happen and never give up. Big hug. Xx
Your story is so amazing and inspiring to me congratulations to you, I can’t imagine how happy and overwhelmed you must’ve been to have fallen pregnant naturally that’s truly a miracle. I believe that everything happens for a reason but going through this journey makes you question what the reason is. It’s funny that you say that about the transfer, I also had a nurse do my transfer and she hurt me and if the notes of my debrief it mentioned about the catheter having to stay in or something like this to me it didn’t seem as though it went perfectly hopefully second time round will be better. I wish you all the happiness as you welcome your beautiful baby And thank you for taking the time to share your story with me xx
Our circumstances were different when our first cycle failed but I remember feeling totally hopeless and overwhelmed and crying all the time. The worst thing I did was to try to bottle it up and not let myself feel the emotions. You’re completely entitled to feel how you do, so just let it out. Have your clinic offered any counselling to help you?
Our odds for our first cycle were 50%, then after that going totally belly up we were given 5% odds for our second cycle.
One of my sister in laws had 10 years of unexplained infertility and 2 rounds of IVF, her clinic told her not to bother again with her eggs as the quality wasn’t great (she was nearly 40 by this point) but she somehow found the strength to give it one last go knowing if it didn’t work she would walk away from it, very much a last chance saloon situation. It worked, she now has an 11 year old, who is going on 18, and conceived naturally not long after having her so has a 9 year old too. The science has also come a long way since then. Don’t give up hope.
Always here if you need someone to talk to, you’re not alone x
Thank you Sarah, that is such a wonderful story about your sister-in-law. I hate the whole statistics thing I can’t seem to get the figure out my head I think it’s because I know that the chances are slim but still you how you can you pray for a miracle. Xx
Thank you so much, I honestly don’t know what I would do without this network of wonderful people to be able to speak to xx
Hi Sunshine,
My story isn't very different. We were diagnosed as unexplained infertility, but when we started doing treatments some issues were detected with my husband's sperm and we saw I already had a low AMH.
2nd cycle: we decided to go abroad. Even lower AMH and even more sperm issues. Surprisingly (although I had different stimmulation drugs) we got 10 eggs and 3 blastocysts that were frozen and genetically tested. The three were normal and I had just turned 36 by then (husband 41). The first one we transferred is feeding from my breast at this very moment 😊, something I had lost hope for at times...
So my experience is that from a cycle to another things can change for better, don't lose hope and perhaps explore changing clinic?
Wow that’s amazing congratulations to you. If this go on the NHS fails then we will look to go privately within the UK but we will also consider going abroad, I’ve heard some great things about clinics in Cyprus so we will look at that. The thing that concerns me the most is the egg quality issue I seem to have And I will be interested to see if with a different stimulation protocol it would make any difference at all xx
I tried taking some supplements for the second treatment, but I don't know whether that makes a real difference... I hope it goes great for you, fingers crossed!! Xx
oh Sweetie, I remember this feeling only too well!!! Took 5 rounds for me, I was 37 with sperm donor on all rounds. I remember reading posts back then thinking, how do these women do it over and over again, they must be crazy (in the nicest possible way) My stance when I first stared was, no way, we will give it 3 rounds and if it’s not meant to be then it’s not meant to be. Well that went out the window. I can only tell you all my tests were amazing, my scores where of someone much younger than me, so why the hell was I not getting pregnant, should have been easy right? Wrong!!! so I got put in the box of “unexplained”. Great, I remember thinking, so you haven’t got a clue why, so you will stick me in that category and let’s just keep chucking eggs back in and hope for the best 😂😂😂. I can honestly tell you it sent me insane, but once I started, I just couldn’t stop, I was going to get my baby whatever the cost and by christ it cost, financially, emotionally, physically, you name it. But I look at my 2 and a half year old and it was all worth it, even when he had a melt down last night, because I can’t get the moon down for him to touch😂😂. I realise it’s not possible for everyone to do as many rounds as me, there are women who have done far more than me. The thought of doing tons of rounds, literally made me feel sick, but that was what was right for me and you will find what’s right for you. Good luck, I wish you all the best!!!
Thank you for sharing your story with me. My husband and I had said the same thing about only doing a certain number of rounds but as you say you just cannot give up on your dream and I know that I will put myself through as many rounds as I can physically emotionally and financially afford because I don’t want to ever look back and think I wish I tried harder or I wish we had another go I just can only hope that we reach a stage where we have a successful outcome xx
Hiya please don’t feel that you’re alone in this. I have endometriosis And my DH has a low sperm count. I also have one ovary & tube. We’ve been through two rounds both failed they think it’s because of the endometriosis. I will ask around ended first week of December 2019 and we got a review done and we were told we have 20% chance of it working. We have one last NHS round to be honest after we’ve got our BFN I wasn’t planning on going through another round. I just thought what is the point of going through another round which will be more gruesome and then have 20% chance. But my DH is keen for us to take advantage of that last round even with a 20% chance so I would do it for him. I’ve no idea if it’s going to work. But 20% is better than 0% so everyone tells me so that’s what I keep telling myself The constant crying and feeling low it will pass. I spent all of December have until mid Jan feeling a bit better each day it’s just that a little bit better out there but better than the day before. We have to find strength from somewhere only God knows if this is ever going to work. But looking at everyone else’s comments there is hope because others were told there is no chance and they have a healthy babies now. We’re in this together for me I didn’t Understand why my eggs would have those issues considering I’m quite young (31). But someone else told me that I’m too young to quit so have to keep going. sending you lots of hugs xxx
Thank you for replying to me I’m sorry that you have been through all of this as well and also given a 20% chance have you started to plan when you will do your second cycle? I feel the same as you about the thought of going through another round and it being more gruesome and having the smallest chance but like you say 20% chance is better than 0% chance so we have to be strong and go with it. I wish you the very best of luck xx
so we have been through two rounds already and we have a final round which is what we are preparing for now. That’s the round we were told will be 20% chance for it to work. We might go for it around March time. It’s all up in the air LooL. Just trying to not over think it etc. I bought books that I need to read but haven’t done so yet. When will you go again?
We are due to start the second round on Monday that is if AF shows up when she should, I think she should she has a good track record of doing so LOL xx
That’s Amazing! Have you done anything different this time around? I just needed more time - I just couldn’t go into the next round straight away. I felt drained from December. I couldn’t even wish this on my worst enemy lol! Wishing you the best of luck with AF & Monday. Xx
Ah god you have been through the ringer!! The whole thing seems so unfair at times.. I have extremely low amh... Following my 3rd lap in December.. My amh count as of last week is down to an all time low of 0.6...... We have been given no other option now but to try donor egg at this stage. I have done the whole prostrap, clomid, letezrole etc and all it's done is make me feel like I have no control over my body and made me fat! ... The night sweats were the worst and at one point I was surviving on about 2hrs of sleep a nite.looking back there's days I don't remember the drive to work let along the work I actually did during that time.. The prostrap injections had a big impact on my memory too something I was never warned about and told by my gp ah that's pretty much what pregnant woman feel like with "baby brain!"..... Have you considered donor egg?? Would you both be open to both donor egg and sperm to give u the best chance??
I’m sorry to hear that you have been through so much, it’s such a hard journey. One that I never imagined I would be going through. When did you have the night sweats? I am asking this because when I had my transfer and I was using the pessaries I started suffering with terrible night sweats I think that this was because my progesterone level was not correct and I told The hospital this and on the next cycle they are going to be giving me lubion As well as the pessaries. We have only briefly discussed egg donor and at this stage I’m not sure how I feel about it on the one hand I desperately want a child and I want to be pregnant and carry that child but on the other hand if it’s not biologically mine I am not sure how I will feel? I also think about How the child would feel towards me? It is something that we would look into more if and when we are told that we need to xx
I have had all those same taughts..and have read loads about mums who have had donor egg treatment.takes a while to get your head thinking straight... But I maybe coming at it from a different side of things as well as my partner has an 11 Yr old old... Who I have known since he was 4...so I kind of look at it and say to myself well he's not biologically mine but I don't love him any the less for it! even though the child won't be biologically mine it will be down to me to keep him/her healthy and that's the bit that terrifies me! I don't wanna look back and be sorry that my fear of loosing a child stopped me trying to give life to one but I will be devastated if my endo was to cause a baby health issues. At same time I try to tell myself by using donor, if its a girl I won't be passing on this horrible condition! It's all a complete mind feck!!! One minute you think positive and the next it just take one stupid comment to make you feel like crap!!
My night sweats were definitely a result of the prostrap injections... They needed to give my ovaries time to heal after the 1st surgery so the injections force your body into a menopausal state. I was only on injections for 3mts but god the sweats lasted almost 9mts!! Horrible.. Life was starting to get back to normal when I was told 2nd surgery was needed... Straight away said there wasn't a hope I would take the injections again.. My surgeon this time was against them too... Cos at that stage (Feb 19)my amh was terrible so he tried to make sure I was ovulating d stopping my periods & so he gave me clodmid for 3mts...wasnt happy with my 21 day blood results on that n then changed me to letezrole.. for 3mts and no improvement. Unfortunately after 6mts of these meds my endo had grown back very quickly and I was sent for a 3rd surgery in dec 19.....so at the min I'm just getting all paperwork and scans sorted for ivf clinic in Prague and have my 1st consultation on 6th Feb!! Am going to be 40 in April and I have promised myself that whatever happens in Prague this has to be the end of it.. I can't spend the next 5 yrs in limbo destroying my body and stressing myself out with every month that passes! Mentally I just have to stop for my own sake!! Lol but I guess I will see how that pans out!!!
You are so right about thinking positive one minute then a stupid comment feel like crap, I’m due to start injections either Monday or Tuesday this week, don’t mind the injections it’s just all the news that I dread xx
Hi! I know how you feel... But believe it’s too early to give up.
We had our first cycle back on November and it didn’t work out for us but I can’t wait to start again.
We’ve been advised to start Proxeed for my husband to improve sperm quality, I haven’t been told I have problem with egg quality but when our first cycle failed I started to take Ubiquinol just in case. I am also completely off caffeine and alcohol. From this week my husband is cutting on caffeine too. At the end we have to try.
It’s very a difficult journey and some days I’m hopeless too but I know I would regret if I don’t try. Best of Luck 😘😘
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