What should I do: Seperated from... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

56,462 members59,776 posts

What should I do

Bluelady-sing profile image
13 Replies

Seperated from partner. Want baby not keen on a donor.

What should I do

Written by
Bluelady-sing profile image
Bluelady-sing
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
13 Replies
LizzieBW profile image
LizzieBW

Hi,

I'm sorry that you've separated from your partner. You didn't mention how recently this happened but hope you're coping okay and have some support if you're going through a difficult time.

If it's a recent change maybe consider taking some time to process what's happened before making any firm decisions. If you've had some time to come to terms with your change in circumstances but are not keen on donor sperm then think about your other options such as adoption or, albeit not an easy option, waiting for your next partner.

Since you said "not keen" rather than "not prepared to consider" donor sperm then perhaps you may be open to considering it a little further down the line. It's life-changing so understand a big decision to make.

Good luck x

Bluelady-sing profile image
Bluelady-sing in reply toLizzieBW

He was not been honest- something I can not live with.

I am okay I keep telling myself I will meet someone. At my age I am not so sure 43.

I am stuck.

in reply toBluelady-sing

Have a little time to yourself to think , people do use donors I myself used an egg donor, I’m 5 months pregNant after 3 transfers from our cycle and couldn’t be more excited about being a mum. I’m due to turn 46 next month but I started on the ivf route with my own eggs at 43 with no success but wAnted to be a mum desperately so donor egg was best option for me. I wish you luck with whatever you decide xx

I have reported you mellisacole, do not try to take advantage of people with fertility struggles trying to sell your products

KiboXX profile image
KiboXX in reply to

Me too 😡

KayCan profile image
KayCan in reply toKiboXX

And me 😡

LizzieBW profile image
LizzieBW in reply toKiboXX

I did too 👀

Kyra-J profile image
Kyra-J

Hi, just some information. I split up with my partner of 6 years after finding out about his lies. I had ivf with him and have a child.

But I have now moved forward and decided to use a sperm donor to have another child. So far I am at the start, just ordered my sperm donor. I am honest very happy to go this route as I would do anything to have another child. Also with time not staying still I am glad to have the opportunity to have a donor.

I would say really sit down and think about if you want to have a baby or your own. Or would you rather wait and see if you will meet someone else. Or go down the adoption/ fostering route?

What is worrying you about using a donor? Is it being a single parent?

Good luck with you choice and if you need any information about donor etc I’m happy to give you information.

Bluelady-sing profile image
Bluelady-sing

With a donor I would not know the father

KayCan profile image
KayCan

I suppose it depends on what you truly want. If it is a baby regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not, if it was me I would look into donors. If it's the family unit you want then you will need to meet someone (which is easier said than done) to achieve that, but we all know these things don't happen overnight so you perhaps want to do some egg freezing for when this does happen. It's not nice that your partner has been dishonest, I don't know what's happened or whether there is any chance of a reconciliation, but I wish you luck whatever path you choose.

AuroraXen profile image
AuroraXen

Sorry to hear this Bluelady-sing. It's really tough, my heart goes out to you. I'm doing IVF solo at the moment. I had to choose between staying in my marriage (and being childless), or taking as many shots as i could afford alone, hence IVF. Hardest decision ever. My marriage was otherwise great, and I still love him very much, but husband never wanted children and I increasingly realised I really DID:-( . Not something you can really compromise on! I knew it had to be a donor for me - even if i could fall in love again and meet someone at my age (just turned 39), I think I'd need to know them for a loooong time before feeling confident about making a baby with them. Anyway, one thing that helped me was picking a donor from one of the European sperm banks where you can get SO much info on the donor's background. End of the day you aren't having a baby 'with' this person, but for me it helped to know something about them (as opposed to absolute bare minimum you seem to get here). So of course you're right, you will never 'know' the biological donor, but if it helps, check our Cryos and European Sperm Bank if you do decide to look further down this route. Good luck to you!

Bluelady-sing profile image
Bluelady-sing

I am so desperate it is on my mind all the time. I have pcos and submucois fibriod

Bluelady-sing profile image
Bluelady-sing

I pissed that despite being with gynae

For8yrs no diagnosis

I am not able to pay for at moment

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

3 miscarriages what should i do differently ?

I went through 2 rounds of IVF, 4 EFT .. 3BFPs however I lose the pregnancy in week 5 every time. I...
Amnaxx profile image

What do I do???

Hi All, Desperately in need of some help I really don’t know what to do!!! We are due to be flying...
CBOO1 profile image

What do I do?

So i aoologise now, this is long!! So I am now 3 ivf cycles down, the final 2 nhs rounds were with...
AnnieAnnie profile image

What should I expect?

Hey everyone, I start injecting this Thursday and starting to feel very nervous! I’m interested to...
Elizabeth86 profile image

Low amh, normal fsh - what should I do?

Hello, I'm 38 and went for fertility testing a couple of weeks ago to see how things stood ( we...
LAHOL profile image

Moderation team

See all
Claire_FNUK profile image
Claire_FNUKAdministrator
JA-fnuk profile image
JA-fnukPartner

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.