What if my body doesn't do what it's supposed to and I miscarry? Is this usual? Anxieties are very high

[Gozneyeje]

Hi, I'm new to this site and could use some advice. I'm currently 10+3 with non-identical twins from a frozen embryo transfer (ICSI). I have been on Progynova and Cyclogest since before transfer and my consultant has advised I continue until eleven weeks and then stop. I'm scared of stopping because my anxiety is already very high worrying about miscarriage. What if my body doesn't kick in and do what it's supposed to do itself? This will be my second pregnancy after a successful single in 2016 (ICSI but no meds).

[Sayusayme]

Hey dear

I totally understand what u feel...and you know life is full of uncertainty which we as infertility group are very much aware of it....

But dear your Doctor knows best and also you need to surrender to universe as nothing is under our control......not life nor birth...but am sure you will be able to carry on with healthy pregnancy with your own hormones...

[Gozneyeje in reply to Sayusayme]

I know some doctors recommend stopping the meds early, some later and some don't prescribe them at all. And I have a lot of faith in my consultant, I just don't have a lot of faith (if any) in my body and it's ability.

[LunaLovegood11]

Hey, I was the same, anxious to come off as (let’s face it) it’s only ever been while on meds that this whole thing worked for me!

I think at those stages the body produces way more than the meds so the meds alone wouldn’t keep us going. You’ll be fine I’m sure xxx

[Gozneyeje in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Can you tell me your experience with coming off please?

[LunaLovegood11 in reply to Gozneyeje]

I was on 2 Cyclogest a day and they reduced me to 1 for the final week and then off. No side affects or anything, and all seems to be ok still xx

[LunaLovegood11 in reply to LunaLovegood11]

I think we get so anxious because of the path it took us to get here; it’s all totally understandable xx

[Gozneyeje in reply to LunaLovegood11]

No one's path in this is ever smooth. My niece (who's nine years younger) has just got pregnant without even trying and not particularly wanting it. I'm feeling bitter when I shouldn't feel that way at all.

[Gozneyeje in reply to LunaLovegood11]

How long have you been off it for?

[LunaLovegood11 in reply to Gozneyeje]

15+5 today, think I came off at 11 weeks.

Ah I understand the bitter feelings too. So easy to see how unfair it all is! Xx

[Gozneyeje in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Yeah I've been advised to stop at eleven weeks which doesn't seem all that early really. One week later and you're out of the proper risky stage.

Yeah I've told no one about the pregnancy, I'm waiting for a bit longer yet as well, I'm so worried that it's getting in the way of actually being excited about it all.

(I take it you're a Harry Potter fan by you're username - I actually called my dog Luna)

[LunaLovegood11 in reply to Gozneyeje]

Haha yes I am 🙈 xx

[Sarah_a_2018]

I'm pregnant from an FET and my clinic has me taking the progynova and cyclogest until 12 weeks but when the placenta has fully developed your body can support the pregnancy without medication

My clinic did say that women can be anxious about coming off the medication and if I really wanted to can stay on the medication and reduce the dose rather than suddenly stopping so it may be worth asking your gp or your clinic if you can stay on the medication a bit longer and then wean yourself off it?

Best of luck xx

[Gozneyeje in reply to Sarah_a_2018]

My consultant said no need to wean off, but you may be right.

[Suzy86]

I had exactly the same worries as you. My clinic told me to stop meds at 8 weeks. Like you I was so nervous and worried that my body wouldn’t be able to do the right thing. Im now 11+1 so at a very similar stage to you and I have had a scan since stopping meds and my baby is doing great. At this point your body is producing everything it needs to to sustain your babies and I know it’s tough but your body will know what to do. Have faith in your clinic. They wouldn’t tell you to stop if it wasn’t safe for you to do so. You can do this! X

[Gozneyeje in reply to Suzy86]

Wow you stopped really early. I suppose I never had any meds at all the first time round and gave birth to a healthy baby. I suppose I'm worried about twins but ultimately that I'm older now so who knows how my womb is doing?

[HollyT7]

I felt exactly the same, your annoyed that it won't do the right thing and give you a baby, then when it does your worried your body will give up on you, its like the anxiety is never ending, they certainly don't tell you about that part! There really isn't much I can say to help you but the anxiety does slowly go, mine started to ease off at 20 weeks. I used every scan or appointment as a target and milestone. Try to swap your bad thoughts with a bit of excited feeling when they creep in because guess what, your pregnant woooo!! ❤️ Xxx

[Gozneyeje in reply to HollyT7]

You're right, I know I shouldn't be this worried. I gave birth to a healthy baby three years ago and my anxiety was never that bad then. I'm not sure what's different this time but I want it to ease off at least a bit so I can start to feel excited!

[KayCan]

I totally feel your anxiety, I was the same . I was on 3 cyclogest per day and absolutely petrified to come off them, was told by the nurses at about 10 weeks I think, but I found an unopened box left in my prescription and weaned myself off to 2, then 1 then 1 every other day till they had gone. I wanted to get past that 12 week stage. It's totally normal to have your worries but you have to trust your body will do the right thing and take over. I wish you luck xx

[Gozneyeje in reply to KayCan]

I literally have enough to last me until the eleven weeks and that's it. If I want more id have to ask and they would wonder why because of the recommendation to stop. I need to trust my body I guess, and everything has been okay up to now.

[GPmum]

I'm also older (nearly 43) and 1st time pregnant even so I understand your worries, but just say to yourself that your body managed to give your 1st born so why it wouldn't work this time even with twins and older age? I have an acquaintance who delivered her 3rd kid when she's 46!

Plus it's not good to have so high anxiety cos your body would then produce cortisol and the sex hormones wouldn't be prioritised.

What I do when I have worries even though I don't have any signs like pain on tummy nor heavy bleeding, I just find affirmation video on youtube and it's sort of a hypnotherapy and meditation that calms me down and it even makes me sleepy!

[Gozneyeje in reply to GPmum]

I'm 30 so everyone says I'm pretty young when it comes to child-bearing age. I don't think it really matters how old you are but the state your womb is in I guess.

[GPmum in reply to Gozneyeje]

If there's anything wrong with your womb, the embryos won't implant! Plus, you had delivered a baby before so there's nothing wrong with your womb!

Just keep distracting yourself with things you enjoy and stop thinking something will go wrong and this actually works quite well for me.

If distraction and affirmation videos don't lower your anxiety level, I think you need to see a psychologist/psychiatrist cos keeping yourself worrying like this (cos I see how you responded to my suggestion and also to some others give me the impression you kept shooting down our suggestions...) isn't healthy for you neither for the embryos...

[Gozneyeje in reply to GPmum]

Oh no I'm not. I think I was more rooting for some success cases on the meds more than reassurance. I read that Cyclogest only tends to (possibly) prevent a miscarriage if the reason for miscarriage is low progesterone levels. I just wondered whether your body would become so reliant on Progynova and Cyclogest that stopping them would mean the babies would not keep continuing to grow. I don't think it is just an anxiety problem, so sorry it come across like that and sorry it looked like I was shooting down suggestions. No worries.

[GPmum in reply to Gozneyeje]

No worries.

But it's completely normal to be on progesterone and estrogen after embryo transfer cos since we got pregnant with IVF (a sub-part of it is ICSI if the male factor is rather bad like slow swimmers etc.), our body well actually ovaries (so not the womb actually) don't straight away produce progesterone and estrogen hormones needed to maintain the pregnancy so that's why we need to take these in whatever name and type (e.g. mine is called differently to yours and I have progesterone injection rather than suppositories) for some time till our body will produce these itself. Now of course since everybody is different, then the RE gives you a particular date when to stop them judging that by this date your body will produce these itself, and if it needs to be weaned or not.

Well if you're still for some reason having so much doubt that your ovaries will not produce these itself by the time your hormones are to be stopped then be honest with your RE about your anxiety caused by your doubt, and ask him/her to prescribe you blood work 6 days before stopping the meds to be done every 2 days to see the level of hormones of progesterone and estradiol to see if the level steadily increased or not.

Or if you have so much doubt about your RE's opinion, then why not get a 2nd opinion?

Cos this is what my 2nd RE who's more experienced did to see if my pregnancy this time is viable cos I had 2x implantation failure before (even tho not caused by my unhealthy womb but rather by my autoimmune disorder that was missed by my 1st RE) but he prescribed to have 3x blood work to see the level of these hormones starting from 2 days after my 1st beta and I could see that the level of these hormones did steadily increase.

I also have an acupuncture by a traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) practitioner who have treated IVF patients and she put me needles to calm me down and to prevent miscarriage apparently so try to find where you live a TCM acupuncturist if possible.

If it's not available, like I said, positivity is also key, and only us who can control our mind, even tho it's not easy, so again if you don't have any reason to doubt about your body's capability (and to be honest, I don't think you should since you had delivered a healthy baby before and you're only 30 now!) then please do yourself a favour and just keep yourself distracted with fun things you love to stop thinking all of those bad what ifs!

[Leesara]

Worry is a really thing and much harder than people can imagine. Try your best to stay in the moment. Sending hope and positivity your way

[Gozneyeje in reply to Leesara]

Just gotta stop the meds and listen to my body and hope it does what it's meant to do.

[Leesara in reply to Gozneyeje]

Just keep hope that’s the key thing. It will, so be positive xx

[Gozneyeje in reply to Leesara]

I have bundles of hope. Thank you.

[Littlemex]

Hi Hun

I totally understand what your feeling, I went through a fet and I am 17 wks pg with twins ,I was on same drugs as you and worried so much about stopping but everything has been fine ❤

Has your clinic given you a 2 weeks chart on reducing the meds gradually?

The anxiety really does take over , I had 3 mmc before this bfp and it worries me so much its going to happen again , but we both have the less risk twins so try stay positive ❤❤

[Gozneyeje in reply to Littlemex]

No my consultant has said it's fine to just stop.

Ah, two embryos stuck? What an exciting time! It still hasn't sunk in and I've knows since New Years Eve. All the scans I've had have shown two babies with their own sacs basically like in bunk beds. How have your scans been?

Anxiety is awful as it means every twinge, every movement you're wondering what it is and fearing the worse. I've had two scans and after each one I relax for like a day! :-s

[Littlemex in reply to Gozneyeje]

Yes they both stuck , It doesn't feel real, thanks.

My scans have been the same own sacs and placentas .

I totally get how you are feeling , every day my anxiety is the same, I hope you start to feel better soon.

When is your next scan? x

[Gozneyeje in reply to Littlemex]

Yep, own sacs and placentas - they both looked snug bugs in rugs at last scan. Next is 30th January, the 12-week one and after that i'll be out of that 'risky' stage so hopefully my mind will get out of overdrive and I can enjoy this 'lovely' process of getting fat and growing humans

[Littlemex in reply to Gozneyeje]

Yes getting to the 12 weeks seems like forever away but hang in there you will get there ❤

And big congrats, lovely news 😊 x

[Gozneyeje in reply to Littlemex]

Did anything change once stopping the meds and did you just stop or wean? I'm on 3x Cyclogest a day (I won't be all that sad to stop them, they're sooo messy)

[Littlemex in reply to Gozneyeje]

No nothing at all changed , i gradually reduced mines over 2 weeks but im not sure if it makes a difference to stop gradually or straight away , i was on 3 prognova a day and 2 cyclogest x

[Gozneyeje in reply to Littlemex]

Well congrats and thank you so much for the info.

[Hidden]

Hey Goneyeje, I stopped my cyclogest at 10 weeks as advised (no gradual decrease). I was actually relieved to not have cottage cheese pants any more. Anyway, you might expect that any bloating you have also starts to reduce at as you come off the cyclogest, so don't worry if your tummy starts to shrink a little too. You have got this far so the placenta will now be producing more than enough of its own progesterone. One less thing to worry about! Xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Oh, I'm also with tinnies BTW

[Gozneyeje in reply to Hidden]

Omg you're not wrong! The Cyclogest contains vegetable fat so my underwear is greasy and ruined. The fact you just stopped at ten weeks no wean is very reassuring as I'll be stopping at eleven weeks and been advised no need to wean either. How far along are you? Did both your embryos stick too?

[Hidden]

I'm 13 weeks and I've got two perfectly formed cubs from frozen 5 day embryos 😍😍. I've had huge anxiety esp after a mmc last year also from ivf, but now I've had my dating scan, I feel huge relief!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yeah both stuck! Crazy isn't it!