Excuses excuses

[murakami]

Hi everyone

I recently started a fresh cycle of IVF (2nd day of injections) and find myself worrying about what excuses to give at work. My manager knows and has so far been flexible but I work in a team of 10 and know there will be questions when I'm off on the odd morning etc.

It wasn't so bad before when i worked in a smaller team but this time I know there will be whispers.

How have you guys dealt with this? Did you tell everyone or not? It's really awkward with Xmas lunches coming up, "oh why aren't you drinking alcohol" blah blah.

It's silly as we shouldn't have to feel like this but I hate lying and don't know what to say each time I'm off on the odd day.

Any advice please share

X

[destiny121]

I didn’t tell anyone at work what I was going through because I’m quite private and I didn’t want any sympathy from anyone to be honest. I think it all depends on the relationship and the culture of your work.... do they gossip? Would they be supportive? Would you feel better knowing that your not keeping it to yourself? So what if your gone for a few mornings? It’s nobodys business and you shouldn’t have to feel that you have to justify yourself to anyone.... I always told myself this is my journey nobody else’s..... so just think about you and try not to worry about what they say or think.... you could have doctors appointments for any reason so why should they know...good luck 😊

[murakami in reply to destiny121]

thanks destiny121, some would be supportive but others would be fake. i too am really private and like you said, its our thing not theirs x

[aamiller405]

Hiya..personally Ive always found it easier just to tell people the truth..for me I find it easier and quite enjoy education people about IVF in a way.. but I know this isn't an option for everyone xox

[3005]

I just told people I was having an operation and had to go for regular appointments before and after. No one questioned what I was having but figured if they did I would just say I don’t really want to discuss it.

It’s a tough one cause I felt the need to say something because of the amount of time I was taking off work. Don’t let it bother you to much let them speculate and you do you x

[murakami in reply to 3005]

true, i won't let it bother me, thanks for replying

[LKT1]

In the end I told my team and so glad I did. It removed some stress anxiety. They were supportive and it was good to talk about it with people. X

[murakami in reply to LKT1]

i think if you have genuine people around you then its fine, i don't unfortunately, some of them are great, others not so much

[Redpixie]

I told people who I didn’t want to know the truth that I was having medical treatment. No one will pry if you don’t off the details. And it’s true. This covers not drinking as well as time off.

[murakami in reply to Redpixie]

yep the generic, 'medical treatment', could mean anything but i'm sure people will start guessing. anyway, i won't waste time thinking about what they might be thinking!, life's too short

[Mystic_M]

I didn’t tell anyone, I just made sure my appointments were in the mornings and was a few minutes late to work on such days. Fortunately on the day for the egg retrieval it was a Monday so I just sent a message that I felt so sick on Sunday and had to do to the hospital. The injections made me more sick so I took the day off and that was it. The whole week was slow and bad but hmmm team understood it and voila in a week I was up and running

[murakami in reply to Mystic_M]

Yep, i'm trying to make sure appt are in the morning. I'm thinking of just saying i have some gyno things to sort out. hopefully they won't ask me anything further, i know i would respect peoples privacy and definitely wouldn't ask further

[GELL18]

I just told people the truth I found it easier..

One of my colleagues and so excited for me that at all stages it was such a positive impact...

When we got a negative test she cried with me, and to top it all off she is willing to led part of the money for next cycle..

Sometimes you never know... people can surprise you..

We have nothing to be ashamed of.. so I would only tell those people close ensure to me or who ask..

Let peace guard you.

[murakami in reply to GELL18]

That's really sweet that she offered to pay and like you said, people can surprise you

[Zuzzzzy]

As some of the ladies in here, I also did not want anyone to feel sorry or to be asking questions when it is pretty difficult to deal with as is. I explained my colleagues, I will be going through treatments that will eventually lead to a procedure to better myself. I told them it is not life threatening, but very important for me to do. Everyone was super understanding and respected my privacy by not asking questions and offering support if I needed any. So any time I had to leave for an appointment I did not have to come up with different lies Best of luck with your treatment! xx

[Mystic_M]

That’s great, at this point you need not to stress yourself. Just make it simple and go through it. I wish you well xoxo