I reckon I'm not the only one and this probably apply to us all at some point. But for me this is now...
Almost daily/weekly I hear about pregnancy and birth announcements. Friends, work colleagues, even celebrities. Every time I tell myself "that's wonderful news" "I am delighted for them" when really each one is like a punch to the stomach.
Then you feel awful for feeling bad.
Then you tell yourself to "get a grip there are people out there worse off than you", "you have your health", "Put on a brave face and get on with it", "you're a strong person and can fight it". Blah blah blah.
Then you tell yourself "I have a right to feel bad", "I don't care about others", "I don't want to be a strong person, I want to vent".
Then you start feeling a bit more positive and then the circle starts again.
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Hopeful28
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Just wanted to say we have all been there, I have been lucky to have had my ivf miracle now, but before that wow I was a nightmare, I cried when my sister got pregnant and was not happy at all for her, and my best friend I told I couldn't see her when she told me mid cycle she was pregnant, I used to feel bitter seeing pregnant women at work, or in the street, what you are feeling in normal, remember you are mourning knowing this may not happen for you, thats what I knew, IVF is a chance but not a guarantee and that is scary, so allow yourself to feel how you need to feel. But if it making you depressed maybe a counselor would be a good idea to help? xx
Hi Hopeful28. All perfectly natural feelings, and I think it will help to have your say here. As "TeamMonkey" suggests, perhaps some counselling to talk everything over in confidence?? It might be an idea to seek some support from other sources too. You can access information about Support Groups in your area by going to our website fertilitynetworkuk.org and click on “How can we help you” – “For those trying to become parents” – support – fertility groups – England – then select the area you are looking for.
There is a charity called the “British Infertility Counselling Association” that can be accessed at bica.net this is not a free service, but they are all specially qualified in counselling people with fertility issues, if you can't get any at your clinic/GP. For now too, best to choose who you spend your time with, to lessen your pain. Thinking of you. Diane
Hey Hun it's totally normal what your feeling and we have all been there or going through the same feeling, it's the worst feeling ever but don't give up hope Hun it's all in your name keep positive big hugs xxxx
All what your feeling is completely natural your not a robot don't beat your self up about it hun. It's a process that us women struggling go through. I think team monkey and Diane are right hun some talking therapy will definitely help. It will happen one day hun.
I keep telling myself it's just not my time when it is my time it will happen. Sometimes it helps others it doesn't. I'm a big believer in positive thinking even though I'm quite a negative thinker I'm trying to train myself to become a positive person and it helps loads little quotes motivational inspirational songs etc it all helps.
Hope your OK hun. Anytime you want to chat I'm here. Lots of love xx
Thanks guys. I'm just really venting. I'm not one for dwelling or being negative. I do like to stay positive and will pick myself up quickly. And I do have a good support network but sometimes it's just nice to vent on here because I know there are loads of people like me in the same boat. It's just one huge emotional rollercoaster for us all.
I'm actually quite lucky as after two failed fresh cycles I got my positive result at the beginning of the year after a frozen cycle, and albeit I had a miscarriage just before my 13 weeks, I managed to get pregnant. So you alway have to take the positives and that's mine.
I've actually been on here for a few years under a different name but a friend joined after she heard about it but never used it and I found judged a lot which I didn't like. But I love it and didnt want her seeing my posts. It's sad but I felt better I could use it as much as I wanted to again as I find it so helpful.
oh hopeful - you are not alone. you have just described me every day for the past 3 years, to the point i can now count my friends on 1 hand.
this is such a challenging & lonely journey that affects every aspect of our lives & takes so much from us. this forum is a lifeline for us - you will find so much love, wisdom & support here.
is there anyone you can open up to? a close friend or relative? or perhaps consider counseling as suggested by diane.
Oh I absolutely have people that I can and do open up to. And quite regularly. I'm not one for holding things in.
Oh I'm worried people are thinking in struggling badly now. I'm not any more than you would expect. and I really appreciate the caring from you all. I do have all the counselling stuff in the house if I need it but I'm ok.
I just find it helpful to write things down and vent on here as you are all going through to too.
I absolutely get what you mean I find writing my emotions down helps a lot other wise I'll end up screaming and shouting. It's good you can get your feelings out and you have a good support network. Don't be worried no one thinks any bad of any one I think we were just giving you are other options if things were getting too difficult. We're here for you. Wish you the very best hun xx
Such a true post it's just like a viscous circle that we all go through and I think some of it comes from self protection and grieving. Glad your able to vent on here, we all need it some times xx
This is so so true. I can't even count the amount of pregnancy announcements by friends and relatives when I just wanted it to be me. It's SO hard to deal with. ALL of your feelings are valid and you are allowed to feel them. Sending love xxxxxxxxxx
I expect it is not that you are unhappy for them at all but just unhappy because you are comparing yourself and wishing it was that easy for you. And that is totally natural. I feel the same way, including about people I don't even know (damn you Beyoncé getting pregnant with twins and your stupid photo shoot ...!). But I do feel genuinely delighted when friends I know have suffered infertility and ladies on here have success stories. But it is so so hard seeing all those posts on Facebook from friends now onto their second or third children while we've failed to produce one. X
I actually had a friend text me to tell me about her surprise third a couple of weeks ago. She wanted to tell me before others since it was so soon after my miscarriage. It was nice of her though. Pre warning does help me cope better.
Dear it's quiet obvious what you feel right now ...... It is normal. As all of us go through the same situation. All of us are the passengers of the same boat ........ But the only thing which really matters is the support of your loved once............ Especially the support of your soul mate . And we have many alternatives like IVF , Surrogacy , IUI etc . The only thing is the proper guidance of the expert. So dear consult some experts . Hope They will show you the right path ..........
You are definitely not alone. I felt all those things during our trying/infertiltiy. I am ashamed to say it but even as a mother now (through IVF) I am still resentful of couples who don’t even have to try and fall pregnant. I still believe a lot of people take it for granted! I used to feel so upset people announcing their pregnancies rip-rap, one after another. I feel so lucky to have my IVF miracle baby, he is a blessing and also to be pregnant again using our last frozen blastos but I still feel envious of people who have it so easy. It definitely doesn’t go away but I will say it does get a little easier. I had one session of counselling, I didn’t rate the counsellor I had very high but I would recommend it xxx
Aww hun your not alone at all I had an appointment Friday where I was basically told have surgery or ivf but endo is severe and may not work etc and that have potentially lower egg reserve than I should was an emotional wreck and then an hr later had someone drop on me that they were pregnant not with the dad and didn’t mean for it to happen - knocked me for six how I held that day together I will never ever know. I may struggle to be around them and I need to deal with that and when I’m ready I may tell them but until then will probably keep my distance as I’m allowed to be upset.
So please don’t think you’re alone, you’re not. It is definitely a mental rollercoaster back and forth with everything spinning around and round in your head.
We did too! After our first failed round. He helped up so much! I swear he’s one of the reasons my next round was successful. He kept me calm and was so much more relaxed having him xx
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Bad timing 
Why not me 😞
My husband always picks fights during the TWW
Trying to remain positive...
