How do I cope with people around me

Hello everyone

I am sorry but I have to say a lot today

I am trying to conceive for the last three years and I am in my TWW

My beta is on Wednesday

Recently I passed my entrance examination for PhD in medicine here in japan

I also did masters before from the same university

But I stopped working because o was diagnosed was endometriosis and since then I am on treatment

My Indian friends stay near me and they know about my entrance examination results

They all have kids so they cannot work here and actually they don’t do any efforts even to try to study or work and they blame everything on their kids

So on Saturday japan was hit by the strongest typhoon and our place was affected too

So three of my friends and their families came over to stay at our house as they stay near rivers and it was flood like situation

So I sent my husband to take them

Now we were spending time and were up till late night as we couldn’t sleep due to strong gusts of wind and rains

So we were playing cards and chatting

And out of nowhere the subject started to drift and two of my friends said that I can do PhD and work here because I dnt have any responsibilities

It was a slap on my face, in my home

They all have kids and i have none

They spoke what they had in their mind for a long time but just congratulated me out of courtesy

Do you all think I should break away from such people

We are all from India and I dnt have much friends here although I am staying here for much longer time then them

They have kids so they often hang out together

I always end up alone despite me trying to do hard to meet with them

I can work hard and I have strength to fight hard for anything

They have been staying here for three years and dnt understand even a word of Japanese language and they dnt even try

Should I stay alone or neglect their comments

Ia very sorry

But lately I am too disturbed emotionally

And people seem to make it more difficult

I feel good if o share my feelings here

Sorry guys for my ranting

I hope you all understand

[Sayusayme]

Hi dear

Even I face such things mostly everyday so I stopped listening and pretending deaf,.....but it's such a torture ...

Even I am a surgeon trying to do fellowship in head and neck but just got stuck in my treatment , stopped attending hospitals ...next week I have embryo transfer and finger crossed.

Yes I miss my surgeries at times but it's ok we already have a degree and work can wait for us but our biological clock I guess it does not wait for anything or anyone.......so my advice is go go deaf to others

[Hidden in reply to Sayusayme]

Yeah right only losers can say such things

But I am here trying to help people and they insult me on my face

I just hope I get my bfp and then I will show them what I can do even with responsibility of a kid

I am going to work hard and stay away from them for a while

Time is the greatest medicine I feel

I hope our time comes too

[Sayusayme in reply to Hidden]

In the end

The only person who cares for you is yourself and do anything to make u happy....life is too short to waste time on things which make us feel worse

[Hidden in reply to Sayusayme]

Wish you good luck for your transfer

I hope you get success with this transfer 😊

[Sayusayme in reply to Hidden]

Love you my angel

[LunaLovegood11]

It sounds like a little jealousy from their part.

If you need some time away from them to feel better, then take it.

Congratulations on your successes! Never feel bad about them.

[Hidden in reply to LunaLovegood11]

Thank you dear

I will try to concentrate on my growth

Will stay away for better

[Aisha12]

I find people who aren’t battling the same conception journey can be very insensitive subconsciously. I honestly don’t think it’s a conscious thing, because I feel like most people around me with kids can be incredibly insensitive because they don’t think about the implications their words can have, and the insensitivity they’re showing.

So don’t take it to heart, because we can over analyse each word and phrase that people utter in regards to our personal infertility. Having said that, I think you should step away for a little while to give yourself some head space. Once you’re ready to mingle with your friends again, do so. Or you might feel like you’re not ready to at all.

[Hidden in reply to Aisha12]

Actually one of those friends has suffered from infertility for many years in the past

And she was the one saying that

I didn’t expect this statement coming from her

We were just talking one day and I said that I am going to work even after having kids and she said that if you work you won’t be a good mom

I felt this like she knows what I can do and what my potential is and she was trying to trying to drag me down

But I will stay away from her