Positive News- for once 🤪

[PurpleLove19]

So my husband went to give a sample yesterday incase we need a back up sample on Egg Collection day. He has had two sample tests and because the results were worse the second time, they said it’s best to freeze some incase it gets even worse.

So today we found it that he gave “the perfect sample for ICSI” and we have ten straws. They have monitored some of them and they seem okay so for once something’s gone right. The fact we have a back up of “perfect” sperm just puts my mind at rest. I had a little thought today that if we are really really lucky one lucky swimmer might get in naturally. I try not to get ahead of myself as it’s only more disappointment but I’ve started to talk about having a baby as if it will happen because talking as if it won’t just makes it’s more sad.

I also had my scan last week so the doctor can decide what protocol to put me on. The nurse said that my left ovary is slightly at an awkward angle but not to worry and that my lining is on the thin side but not to worry. I guess that explains why my periods are so light.

I asked if this could cause me not getting pregnant naturally and she said not necessarily.

My husband has felt so guilty, not that I’ve made him feel that way, about the issue being with him but I said to him I think we both have a faulty part to play in some way and this is just the journey we are on now.

I really do think that this journey has made us more inseparable and closer than ever. We have always been joined at the hip but it’s like we both find comfort in being in social situations if we have each other. We both know what the other is thinking and feeling. Most importantly we allow each other to be upset, angry and irrational sometimes.

I have come a long way since last November when we found out. I’ve gone from only wanting to talk about our infertility on my own so I could rant about his issue without him getting upset to me actually feeling uncomfortable talking about it without him by my side.

I hope that others see the bright side of this emotional journey x