My OTD is Friday but I've already known since 3dpt that it's failed. It's my first ever IVF-ICSI attempt. I've no symptoms. Had slightly sore boobs but nothing like after the trigger shot when I felt like someone had taken a cheese grater to my nipples tmi.
I feel so utterly depressed and devastated. We have male factor infertility issues. I had such high hopes as there's nothing wrong with me fertility wise. I feel like I'll never be a mum. Its taken months to even get to transfer stage as I developed OHSS and my embryos had to be frozen. I'll never give up but I feel so depressed and hopeless that if even I with a good graded embryo and no fertility issues can't catch then what chance do I ever have. I'm 38, nearly 39. The pain I feel is indescribable.. A gaping hole in my heart 😢 💔
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Jessy1280
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I’m so soo sorry to hear you feel like this, your pain is so raw and must be really upsetting for you. You’ve been through so much which this cycle, they are absolutely emotional rollercoasters and not good most of the time. You feel so hurt and pain is just hopelessness and despair. You will be a mum, first cycles are the cycles to get things right and 9/10 a trial and error to se what’s worked. You will note on this site it is sooo rare first cycle ever works but don’t give up hope you never know what Friday might being, and if not then for second time they can know what to improve on your next cycle. Thinking of you. Xxx
Jessy, I hear you. It is utter torture and heart wrenching but don't forget this is your first attempt. Unfortunately it's a Russian roulette but you have a lot in your favour. A lot of people don't have any symptoms and get a BFN so don't rule yourself our just yet. Remember worrying and stressing will not change the outcome so plan nice things to do, get lost in a book or box set and keep everything crossed. You're still in the running and PUPO! I've wanted to sink into a dark hole on many occasions but in my eyes you either pick yourself up and keep that hope shining bright or you sink. Stay strong, you're doing so amazingly well. We all understand and are here to listen xxx
Thanks all. I just know deep down its failed. The thought of having to wait til Friday just to confirm what I already know and then another wait of another month or two to transfer another is pure hell. They've already used my best quality embryo this current transfer. This is pure mental torture and I can't stop crying every day x
I know it’s tough and very frustrating to have a transfer of a good graded embryo fail with no reason given. I had a 4AA fresh transfer and a 4AB frozen transfer fail for no obvious reason. However, my last frozen embryo of this round was a 4BB grade - I assumed that didn’t have a chance given it was the worst graded of the three but I’m currently 7 weeks 5 days pregnant today (so still very early, but at least it shows that I can achieve pregnancy). Robert Winston is rather sceptical about embryo-grading; he says it’s like looking at someone to determine how intelligent they are. Try and stay positive and think about what you can tweak on your next attempt - this journey is a marathon not a sprint and it requires super-human patience!! Diane Arnold (site administrator) can provide a list of questions to take to your follow up appointment if that helps. Best of luck and baby dust to you xxx
Sorry hear you're struggling, but rest assured I had no symptoms after my trigger shot left my system, and I'm now 15weeks pg and I've had no symptoms throughout this whole pregnancy so far. Please don't read no symptoms as some women are just lucky enough not to get any. Hope everything works out for you both.
I didn’t have any symptoms after my transfer and I’m now 14 weeks pregnant forget what you read on dr google as everyone is different and have very different symptoms! Your passion for a baby shows that you have hope and that’s what you need to get through this process.
The first round of treatment is always the most scary and overwhelming that it’s easy to feel depressed with everything you go through to get to this point ! Please don’t write your little embie off yet I strongly believe they need to feel like you want them to stick around and even though the odds are against them ! Embies are strong please just keep some hope I know you have to keep yourself grounded to protect yourself I had to keep reminding my OH that I can be positive but I also have to keep myself prepared for the worst.
Fingers crossed for a good out come and if not this time you have more so there is still plenty of chances and grading is good but sometime the lower graded embies are the strongest fighter xXx
Thanks all for the kind words. Just feel so low like there is something actually wrong with me. I feel like I'm chasing a hopeless dream 😢 💔. Not sure how the clinic can tweak my meds or what they can do for me. I was on mild stim because of my high AMH. I am more than able to produce ample eggs, I have 2 frozen left (4BA already hatching and a 4BB). Egg retrieval I had 18 eggs, 13 fertilised but only 3 made it to 5 days. Its the waiting in the entire process that's the killer. My ivf journey started in Feb, egg collection in May and its taken up until now for my first ever transfer. I honestly won't ever give up but its total torture. My OH has children (I have none) and doesnt understand my pain at all.
You have to stay hopeful. It’s all we have. Your frozen grades are really good. I’ve read about clinics having more success with BB than AA. I had a 4AB and 4BB transferred, one stuck that I swear was the 4BB as my little boy was also a 4BB! Hopefully you will get your BFP this time and can save the frosties for a rainy day!
Not sure if they can tweak your meds much for a FET (I never had any to freeze 😢) but as my egg count was so low my clinic give me loads of tips on improving egg quality that resulted in all 5 of my eggs fertilising. They also used IMSI to select the best sperm which we swear by after some research on here. Hopefully you won’t need to go through the whole egg collection again but if you did there’s so much they can do to improve your chances on the second go. I know a lot of ladies who have caught on their 5th or 6th attempt. So hard to go through but it works eventually and will be worth it in the end xXx
My clinic advised DHEA, co-q-10, omega 3 and put me on a Mediterranean diet all for 3 months before treatment began. My egg quality I believe was much better than 4 years ago. 100% fertilised against 50% 4 years ago. 50% to day 5 compared to 10% 4 years ago.
Have a little search on this site as many swear by these and other methods xXx
Out of 16 mature eggs, 13 fertilised with ICSI but only 3 made it to day 5/6 and I had to freeze all. I had 4AB, 4-5 BA (already hatching) and 4BB. They transferred my 4ab with assisted hatching which I believe has failed. They refused 2 embryo transfer as there's nothing wrong with me according to them and it was my first ever cycle. I asked if I could waive this and they flatly refused even though it says you can on the clinics website. I've paid for 3 cycles so I'm assuming this means 3 chances at egg stim/collection? even if I have 2 embryos left from this cycle? Thanks for all the advice. Starting to wonder if I'm naturally low in progesterone after revisiting my GP test results from a few months back. 🤔. 100% going to ask about ISMI if I've got to go through retrieval again.
If you went for a 3 cycle package they you still have a very good chance as you still have 2 full cycles to go through ! If you are naturally low on progesterone it might explain why you are struggling so much and feeling so down your body is probably struggling to adjust causing you to feel so down it’s worth looking into further. Think we all know how the drugs can mess with your feelings but if you are naturally low in something it would be twice as hard for your body to adjust. Hopefully you will have some good news from this cycle 🤞🤞🤞🤞 xXx
My 21 day progesterone test was 32 (the GP said only under 28 was bad) so that I'm considered normal. I'm not convinced though as I've been reading others having levels of 70-100. I know very little about this though. Starting to wonder if this is why I've never conceived naturally. I literally love this site. It helps so much with others who know what you're going through. X
I could never of got through ivf without this site. Any questions there is always someone on this site that has been in your position and knows the answers and when you are down there are always people here who will help pick you up again! xXx
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way, the IVF journey is such an emotional rollercoaster. Please don't give up hope just yet, i know it's really hard but the body is a funny thing and there is absolutely no way of knowing the outcome until that official test. I had a failed first fresh cycle in may and have just got a BFP on my first FET. I had 2 embryos transferred (I've just turned 37 and my clinic wanted to increase my chances) and during my 2ww I didnt feel much at all. Some very mild twinges around when implantation may have occurred, 1 day of nausea which I put down to the heat, and on a couple of days, including my OTD I had pains like AF and I was convinced it was going to start. I had HCG levels on day 9 post transfer and it was positive. So I guess what I'm saying is, everyone has different symptoms, some a little, some a lot and some none at all so I think you are still in the running. I found the mindful ivf app really helpful so you could give that I go to get your positivity and calmness back. I really hope this is your turn but if not this cycle, it's great you've got some frozen embies to try again. I do hope that you get your little miracle 🤞🍀🌈
Sweetie, the 2ww is hell. There's so much riding on it, there's no way to control the anxiety and you're chockful of hormones too, which doesn't help. Symptoms, or lack of them, don't mean much so there's no way of knowing for sure until testing.
It's a total headf**k, I know, but you're over halfway through now so hang in there just a little longer. At this stage it's pretty normal to fall into despair and convince yourself it's failed, if you flick through older posts you'll see it time and again. It's like a protective mechanism, but this 'gut feeling' doesn't mean anything either so I'm hoping in a couple of days you'll be proved wrong with a BFP xxx
This journey is so hard on us. I found getting some talking therapy really helped me to deal with how I was feeling as it was really affecting me in other areas of my life. Try not to focus too much on symptoms, I had symptoms with my first two transfers that both ended in early miscarriage, but had no symptoms at all with our third transfer that resulted in the birth of our son! Fingers crossed for OTD for you xxx
Ah hunny, it’s all just pants this IVF stuff! Just some positive hope... I got pregnant first time with my daughter and 3 yrs later first time on this cycle too! It can be done and both times I never felt any signs! We also had Male factor infertility and I was 36 the first time and 40 the second! Both cycles were IVF with ICSI and I had not so good eggs! Keep hope! Sending baby dust to you xxx
Thanks so much for your reply and words of hope. Shows it can be done! I'll be utterly gobsmacked if it's positive on Friday.... Oh The tears will flow. My oh is convinced it's worked but he has no basis for that opinion. The clinic refused to put in two embryos as it was first cycle, a good graded embryo and nothing physically wrong with me. They said it wouldnt improve my chances. Next time, I'm 100% insisting on two embryos.
Really feel for you, it’s all so difficult at times. I was 100% convinced my first cycle hadn’t worked and absolutely gobsmacked to get a bfp. Don’t give up hope just yet. There’s actually even some research out there suggesting that positivity improves outcomes for cancer patients undergoing treatment, which I think really highlights the possibilities of some untapped potential in the power of the mind that maybe we just don’t fully understand yet.
On the subject of dual embryo transfer, it sounds like in your case your clinic may have been right to insist on a single transfer... I’ve been told dual transfer only increases your chance of a pregnancy by approx 5%. If you compare this to the odds of another separate FET (could be as much as 40% depending on your age/ circumstances/ clinic) then yes you would have had to undergo another FET, but you would have a significantly better chance of a pregnancy. This wasn’t something I’d thought about or fully understand initially, so hope that helps you feel a bit more at peace with how things have gone. And to have Frosties in the freezer should you need them is a really fantastic position to be in.
I’m not often on this site anymore but I saw your post and had to reply. Please don’t give up hope! You have no way of knowing for certain at this stage if your cycle has failed or has been successful. You don’t always feel symptoms of pregnancy that early and even when you do feel symptoms it’s usually the effect of the progesterone you’re taking!
I’ve been where you are and felt that desperation and sadness but don’t give up. I now have a little girl but it took us 4 IVF attempts, 2 fresh cycles and 2 frozen. I was in the depths of despair after my third IVF failed, but you have to hold on sometimes. I also had OHSS after my fourth cycle, the one that worked, which was awful. Please don’t feel like the cycle hasn’t worked just because you don’t feel symptoms, just wait and see and I hope so much that you get your BFP. Try to keep positive as hard as it is. Wishing you every bit of luck. Sending love xx
Thank you soooo much for taking the time to respond ♥. Everyone on here are so kind and compassionate. Trying to find hope and that everyones turn will come. Whilst ivf is an amazing feat of technology, nobody can prepare you for the highs and the lows xxx
I feel your pain, it’s exactly how I felt. I got a BFP at 6dp5dt so don’t give up hope. Day 3 is very early. Best wishes xx
Sorry you’re having a rough time. I don’t know how people can stand not to test. I had a FET last Monday and tested every day! Fingers crossed for good news for yo on Friday!
I don't know if you can use my story for anything, but I just want to give you some hope to let you know that you just never know what will happen. I think it's very early to write it off already. With my first IVF I had no symptoms at all and ended up with a BFP (grade 3AB) and then with my second one I had a natural FET (no meds) - again no symptoms (this time with a grade 3BB) and I ended up with a BFP again....and I'm now 25 weeks pregnant at 38.
I know I have been extremely lucky, but when I read your story and other people's stories it often seem like they wonder what they are doing wrong or ask what they can do to succeed. Honestly I haven't done anything in particular other than avoiding alcohol and too much caffeine. If only there was a list to follow that would guarantee success I'm sure we would have heard all about it. Just keep the faith that it will happen...even this time around! But if not, it's a great thing that you have frosties waiting.
Thank you sooo much for your words of hope. I did a medicated cycle as I was too impatient to wait for a natural cycle. This is because I'd been waiting since Feb for my first ever transfer. I'm now 10dpt and will be totally shocked if I get my bfp Friday!
I had to do a natural cycle to try now because I'm still breastfeeding, but despite the lack of symptoms I just took it easy and didn't test until OTD. Of course the 2ww never gets easy, but to me it helped knowing that once the embryo is in there there's nothing I can do to change the outcome really. Fingers crossed that you will get some positive results on Friday!
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Feeling absolutely crushed, exhausted and very much alone right now
Heavy bleeding 9dpt and bfn
Feeling low - pre-IVF
Not ovulating
