So after a year of not using ovulation sticks me and DH decided to use them again to help after over 2 years no success in TTC. I have now finished the packet of ovulation sticks and it has not shown that I have ovulated. When i used them a year ago it did used to show an LH surge. We are here for male factor issues, and now I feel my heart is breaking that there is something wrong with me aswell we have our next fertility appointment next week. I don't know how I will cope with any more bad news. I have felt so down since our first appointment in January. I am hoping that it may be down to stress i may not be ovulating and not something more serious. I am terrified of what they will tell me on Wednesday. My mood with infertility is so low... that if I hear the worst on Wednesday I feel it will push me over the edge.... I hate this... i feel my heart is so broken.... I long for a time when I used to be able to feel like me carefree and enjoying myself. Feels like everywhere I go there are babies, pregnancy news. Even the supermarket is a reminder. I isolate myself to always just be with hubby, because it's my only 'safe' place and he is so supportive. We were watching a programme last night and there was pregnancy and my hubby said we should turn it over... It's sad that it's come to this that I'm so sensitive just the talk of pregnancy makes me want to cry. Feeling just a little but suffocated like there is no escape from this....its taken over our lives and I ddesperately just want to feel like me again the longer this goes on the more i feel like I have lost the person I was.
Sorry for the rant xxx