Not coping 4dp5dt

[Jessy1280]

I feel like I always come in here and moan but this is literally my only support network. Ive had two embryos transfered but I really believe its failed again. I wake feeling depressed every day, questioning if I'll ever be a mum given that I'm now 39. The 2ww is pure torture. This is my final cycle and I've literally only two embryos left on ice from cycle 1 but with all this covid-19 stuff going on, who knows when I'll get to try again. Really struggling today x

[RhinoCat]

I hear your heart and mine feels the same some days and then other days I’m ok . Praying that today can turn around for you and you can get a different perspective to help you keep stepping on .

This journey is hard.

This journey is unpredictable .

But, we are not journeying alone. 👯

Hold tight ,

We are right here with you, just where you are.

Massive hugs and love to you 😘💐💐💐💐💐💐💐😘😘😘😘💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

[Hidden]

Feeling the same Jessy. Its hard and easy said but keep hope. Be positive. If it helps we here all are praying for you and hoping this is the one for you❤️

[ttcemmie]

Oh my love, I know how you feel. This stupid stupid rollercoaster. And I feel like there's even more pressure on this round because with coronavirus who knows when we'll get to try again. Exactly! I promise you that you will be sunny and positive again, but for now, just know that we all love you and have big hugs for you! And try and do something nice for yourself - something you enjoy. Lots of love xxxx

[HollyT7]

I resigned myself to the fact it didn't work too, not helped by testing early and seeing a bfn!.... But it turned to a bfp. It can happen. Hold tight! Take every day as it comes and remember it's OK to be sad, but try to still hold hope, even if its just a smidgen, you imagine your little beans getting nice and comfy xxx ❤️

[shia11223 in reply to HollyT7]

I test today day 7 and it came bfn and now feeling so sad , how early you tested when you had bfn and after that when you test to have bfp

[HollyT7 in reply to shia11223]

Ive tested at 3 days with fresh and got a bfp, and 5 days and 6 days with frozen and got bfn that turned positive a few days later. I tested early because I wanted to end the misery tbh as I felt it had failed. I know coming from an early tester it doesn't mean much but I'd urge you to stay away from testing for as long as possible as you can save yourself heartbreak for no reason. all the best ❤️ xxx

[Hidden]

I’m sorry you feel so down today Jessy, I can understand 100%! I lost count of all the bfns I’ve seen since starting the ivf journey.....and my last one...I was so negative and convinced it didn’t work that I couldn’t even be bothered to take the test on my OTD......I was absolutely shocked when I saw my BFP! 😱 I had no particular symptoms until I got all my usual pre- AF ones and I thought I was out! But I was wrong...

It’s an incredibly difficult journey which, for me, has more a psychological than physical impact. I’ve struggled SO MUCH (and still am, despite being pregnant!)

Our mind makes us believe stuff that it’s not real, and there’s no way to control it.

I’m 39 too, turning 40 in July- it can happen for us too!

For today, be kind to yourself- you’re on a difficult journey but have been so incredibly brave to get where you are ❤️Stay strong ❤️

I hope you’ll start believing soon again xxxx

Sending you lots of love and luck 🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

[Jessy1280 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you got all your replies. I just can't help tear up knowing I was pregnant last cycle (mmc) and now I can't get pregnant again. A small percentage of our embryos ever reach day 5 but they don't appear to get much beyond that. The uncertainty is cruel when you want something so badly that comes so much easier to others x

[Hidden]

Sorry you are feeling so negative

do you ever go back and look at your old posts? I find it helps me.. I am pretty sure you were writing that you knew you were out at the same time last time and you weren't!! I know it didnt end well in the end and I am so sorry for that (been there) but maybe remind yourself how negative you were before and how actually it didnt mean anything? masses of luck xx

[Jessy1280 in reply to Hidden]

I have re-read my old posts daily tbh but last time I now realise that I had cramping day 5. This time absolutely nothing. Cycle 1 I had zero symptoms like now and that was a BFN. It's hard trying to be positive. I know we're all struggling (not just me) and I know I seem negative most of the time. Think I'm just depressed tbh. I'm scared of never being a mum. X

[JoP32]

Hi Jessy. I understand. This whole process is such a rollercoaster.

I’ve convinced myself my transfer’s not going to work as well this time but this might just be our brains preparing us in case we get bad news because we’ve had it before.

I know it’s super tough but hang on in there. You’ve had 2 embryos transferred which is amazing.

When is your OTD? My current clinic make ya wait until 15 days post transfer 😳🤯 but my last clinic was 11 days post transfer! The variation is crazy!

Hold on in there though lovely. You may not feel it atm but you are strong and you will get through this. In the meantime I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you 🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻🍀🤞🏻 Xx

[Jessy1280 in reply to JoP32]

Otd is 31st March. I already know its failed. Zero symptoms. Literally none. I'm already planning my next FET in my head but the reality is that may not be for months now with covid-19. 😢