Struggling today : Hi all, I’m having... - Fertility Network UK

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Struggling today

Redpixie profile image
9 Replies

Hi all,

I’m having a low day. Struggling to see the hope. Last Tuesday I got my 3rd BFN from our first cycle (one fresh, two FET). I’m 40 and when we started this journey the issues lay with my husbands morphology, now because of my age there are issues with me too. Our cycle had us get 14 eggs, 5 embryos, 3 5 day top quality blastocysts, but I can’t get a pregnancy.

My husband works away rotationally for 4 weeks at a time so I do a lot of this on my own. I’m really struggling to see the hope today. We now have to start looking at private clinics and that is feeling overwhelming. Everything takes so much longer because of my husbands job and I’m aware of my ticking clock. I’m really just looking for support and reassurance to lift my spirits today.

Also, if anyone is Manchester based and able to private message me recommendations of a private clinic that would be great.

I don’t often post here but this forum has been a lifeline to me so thank you.

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Redpixie profile image
Redpixie
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9 Replies
Franco81 profile image
Franco81

Hi Redpixie

I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a rough day. And that you’ve had another BFN, it really is so unfair!

I’m afraid I am not in your area but have had to fund two cycles myself and always went to look round a clinic then went with my feeling, how comfortable it felt there etc. There is guidance on the HFEA website so maybe you could have a look there and make a short list then arrange visits when your husband is around? It must be tough trying to juggle treatment around his shifts.

I really hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you. Don’t lose hope xxx

Redpixie profile image
Redpixie in reply to Franco81

Thank you so much for replying. I’ll definitely make some appointments.

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Sorry to hear that you are struggling! We had some real problems getting a BFP. We had 2 BFNs with OE. Then decided to do DE to up our chances, then had 2 BFNs & eventually got a BFP on our last transfer but miscarried. Have you tried prednisolone? Apart from small changes like using blood thinners it's the one thing that we changed....could be luck I guess! Wishing you all the best.xx

Redpixie profile image
Redpixie in reply to Cinderella5

Thank you for your reply. What are OE & DE?

I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage, that’s really tough, especially after all those BFNs. I hope this is a step towards you getting a healthy pregnancy. I’ll be thinking of you.

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to Redpixie

Sorry own OE is own eggs & DE is donor eggs.

Thank you for your kind words! I really hope you can get through this difficult time.xx

Redpixie profile image
Redpixie in reply to Cinderella5

Thank you. We’re going to have a chat with the dr but I’m open to donor. My husband isn’t sure he wants to continue so it’s all very emotional at the moment.

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to Redpixie

Take your time, donor is a huge decision but once we made it, we haven't looked back! See what the Dr advises, we asked what our realistic chances were with OE...we got 3 blastocysts from 2 cycles and got told around 5%.😕 xx

Shirazlover2013 profile image
Shirazlover2013

Hi redpixie, I’m sorry today/this week is such a shitter for you. BFNs and three on the trot is rubbish! Your 1st cycle went really well to get you 3 x 5 day blasts so you guys are doing really well on that front. You just need some luck to get one to stick now. If you can afford it definitely try another round.

I can relate to a few of your issues although I’ve had a different experience of ivf cycles. When we started our issues were also male morphology (0% 😬), but over time with lifestyle changes and supplements our morph is varying from 3-4% so borderline “normal”. I’m turning 39 this year so also fear our lack of success at getting many embryos is down to egg quality too 😒

We’ve had 2 ICSI cycles, first one was low dose stimms and we got only got 3 eggs (gutted) all fertilised but we only had one make it to day 5 and it was only an early blast so couldn’t even grade it, no surprises there when we got a BFN. 2nd cycle i pushed hard for increased stimms and we got 11 eggs (delighted). BUT the call the next day said only 6 were mature and only 2 had fertilised normally! Not yet sure what happened there as we’re in the middle of a 2ww so haven’t had a follow up with the clinic about it yet. So yeah we got 1 decent looking embryo, again nothing to freeze which I keep finding so hard to deal with. I’ve still got everything crossed for a positive result this week on OTD but our chances are slim and we’ll be back to the start (again) if this little one doesn’t take. Good luck and keep me posted xx

Redpixie profile image
Redpixie in reply to Shirazlover2013

Thank you for your reply. I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time. My husband’s morphology was 0.5% but they haven’t tested recently so not sure if it’s increased.

I’m so sorry you’re not getting the results you want neither. It’s so difficult. No one understands unless they’ve been there.

My husband isn’t sure he wants to continue so at the moment I’m numb waiting for him to decide. I’m not ready to give up yet.

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