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Fertility Network UK
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Struggling so much today

I’m having a really bad day and just don’t know what to do. I feel like my heart is broken and it physically hurts. I think it’s with the funeral of my baby girl getting closer and I’m so worried how I’ll deal with it on the day and afterwards. I can’t help wishing they hadn’t saved me as I wouldn’t have to be without my baby and she wouldn’t have to be without me xX

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I’m so sorry and thinking of you, no one should have to go through this x x

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I cannot imagine what you are going through. It is so truly awful. I hope you have lots of support and you will get through this even though it seems impossible right now. Lots of Love to you and your family at this difficult time xx

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So so sorry you are going through this. I can’t even start to imagine how you feel. Your baby girl will be with you all the time ❤️

Have you sorted some counselling as I do believe this will help a lot? You need to try and stay strong for the funeral day. It will be a very sad day and you will hurt but trust me the pain will ease with time.

No one should have to go through this but please please always speak to someone. Take care xxxx

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I agree. Please speak to someone. I’m sure your friends, family and OH would hate to hear you talking like this. I’m so so sorry for what you’re going through xx

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I totally agree because sumtime talking about a hurtful moment or time in ur life it helps to heal the wound lil by lil. I am so sorry to hear this an i will keep u in my prayers. Sending you lots of warm hugs. Remember time heals all wounds.

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I'm so so sorry u have to go through this xox

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Gosh I really don't know what to say as your pain is unimaginable. Nobody will have any expectations of you on the funeral day so try not to have any of your own. As the others have said, talk to someone whether that be a family member or your other half....even a counsellor. Don't keep these feelings to yourself sweetheart. Sending much love to you.xxx

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Hi Clover. If you feel up to it, do give me a ring tomorrow in confidence on the Fertility Network UK Support Line 0121 323 5025 Diane xx

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Thank you for everyone’s messages. I’m going to see Ebony for the last time tomorrow at 2pm so If I could call you please after that Diane xX

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Hi. Of course. I shall be there until 4.00 pm. Diane xx

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Thank you for talking to me today Diane, it was a big help.

We all appreciate your help & support on here so much 💕 xX

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Hi. My pleasure. It was good to have a chat, it did me good too! I shall be thinking of you tomorrow as you say “cheerio” to Ebony Rose. It won’t be “goodbye” as she will always be in your heart. Diane xx😘

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Thank you Diane 💕 xX

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Hi. Hope all went as well as it could today. Been thinking of you all. Diane xx

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Hi Diane. Yesterday was really hard but it was a lovely service which was attended by lots of my family & friends. I’m so pleased Ebony was seen and loved by so many even though she never had the chance to have a life. I’m feeling pretty hollow and pointless right now, but I’m going to contact SANDS and see if I can get some help 💕xX

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Hi. I realise how difficult it would have been yesterday, and I'm pleased that the service went well and you had friends and family around you for support. Contacting SANDS would be a good idea - they will help you. Don't forget I'm here if you need to talk or scream! So pleased that you have your little Memory Box to hold onto. Love and hugs. Diane xx

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Thanks Diane. We are so pleased we have our memory box and we are just waiting to receive our photos the medical photographer took of Ebony with us xX

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I just want you to know that I am thinking of you. xxxxx

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So sorry for what you are going through. Call Diane and take it from there. I hope you get the support that you need. Thinking of you at this difficult time. X

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Thank you for your message. I’ve spoken with Diane today which really helped xx

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Im glad it has. We are here for you too x

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Im so sorry your having to go through this, but your not alone you have everyone here to speak to and im sure your lovely family. There is nothing i say that will help make you feel better but thats not what is important right now. What is important is that you get all the help you can now and be able to grieve which you need to do the way which is best for you. Im sorry i dont want to say anything that will offend or upset you but just a thought maybe getting something together to remember your precious one by? Im sure you already have everything ready and i am truly sorry but im here if you want a chat even if its just the way your feeling xxxxxxxxx

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Thank you for your message and offer to talk. This site is full of such wonderful caring people xX

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So sorry to hear how you’re feeling. I haven’t been through this and can’t even imagine how it feels but please make sure you let someone know how you feel.

You’ve been through something truly awful but you’re still here and with the right support you can learn to manage this grief over time. So many of us here will be thinking of you.

Please give Diane a call tomorrow and let her support you. xx

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Thank you for your message 💕 I’ve spoken with Diane today which was a help and having a slightly better day xx

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Oh Clover, your heartbreak is clear too see from your words. Grief has soo many depths and effects everyone differently, especially when it involves the child they so desperately want. Take each minute, day as they come, don’t plan tooo far ahead and hopefully your will have a strong nest work around you. Talk, cry, scream as much as you want, but remember to look after yourself, your immune system will be very low at the min and you need to have your strength. Sending so much strength and love your way xx

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Thank you for your message 💕 Today has been slightly better thankfully, so I’ll just have to take each day as it comes x

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Glad today is a better day. You a super strong and never let anyone tell you otherwise 😘xx

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Absolutely heartbreaking - sending thoughts and prayers to you xxx

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I'm so sorry for your loss Clover, please don't worry about much. Just take it all a day at a time. You're not alone xx

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Breathe my love... there is no preparation when burying your child, no text book right or wrong way to feel.

Take it just 1 minute at a time, if you

Feel a wobble let it take you, have a moment if you want to scream, cry, shout, swear, hit someone or something go ahead no one will

Judge you.

Ensure that everyday you take 5 minutes to yourself. Even though right now it seems like you will never be normal which you won’t but slowly very painfully slowly the pain will become bearable and in the place of tears will be a smile because she will be right there with you every single day.

My son went to be an angel cos he was clearly too great for this world

My great reaches out to you x

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Thank you for your message and I’m really sorry to hear about the loss of your son. It’s something you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Im having a slightly better day thankfully 💕 xX

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Heart breaking ❤, take one day at a time, remember everyone is here for you xx

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I'm so sorry you are going through this pain. Talking to a counsellor will help and you'll need time to work through your emotions and loss. Thinking of you xx

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My heart goes out to you. So sorry to hear this. There are no words really.xx

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I am just writing to say that I am so sorry.

I know that words provide little comfort. My brother died when I was 21, and the grief was overwhelming.

Denial at first, then anger, guilt, pain and an overwhelming sense of sadness and loss. Life didn’t make sense, and life has never been the same since.

You never forget, life is never the same, but time heals and helps. Be kind to yourself - that might mean sleeping for days, or crying for hours, or blocking out emotions. Your body will tell you what it needs.

When he died, my mum read lots of books that helped her process what happened. One was called ‘The Power of Now.’

I am so sorry. It is pain like no other, and I wish you weren’t going through this. Be kind to yourself and listen to what your body needs. Sending love.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Thank you for your message and sorry to hear about your brother 💕

I know this is something I’ll never get over but hopefully in time come to live alongside and move on.

I’ll have a look in to that book though so thank you ❤️ X

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I know exactly how your feeling - I lost our twins after a battle in NICU and unfortunately we had the funeral Friday- I’m not going to lie and tell you that’s it’s easy but you do need to talk, cry, scream and shout. It doesn’t make it easier or better but it helps - if you wish to talk I do understand how u feel and what your going through so please message if it helps xx

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I’m so sorry to hear of your loss hun and thank you for your message when it’s still so raw for you ❤️

It’s just such a shock to the system with going from the happpiest time of your life to looking at baby urns and flowers for the funeral.

I’m still dreading the funeral tomorrow. I can only imagine the pain of saying goodbye to two babies. I will message you at some point if that’s ok 💕 xX

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Absolutely fine when your ready - it’s nice to have someone that relates to exactly how you feel ❤️

You will get through tomorrow it’s very very hard but you will find your strength from nowhere 😘

It was very hard with the two as they were born on different days.

Twin one on Sunday and passed Tuesday then twin two arrived Wednesday and fought for a week and a day xx

I will be thinking of you tomorrow plenty of tissues xx 😘

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Today was so hard but it was a lovely service. My family and friends have been a massive support, so we really couldn’t have done it without them.

I’m so sorry Hun, that must have been so hard especially having the hope for over a week that one was going to survive.

We’ll speak soon. Sending love 💕xX

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Oh hun I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself, take one day at a time and get some support to get you through this difficult period. Big hugs 💗💗

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Cant imagine what you are going through..so sad. I'm sorry there isn't anything l can say to ease your pain. I hope you and your OH are surrounded by loving arms.

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I am so sorry,it's just unimaginable what you are going through. Thinking of you and your family at such a difficult time xx

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I am very sorry to hear about your loss. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through. Nobody should endure this. It’s awful! I hope you have a lot of support around you. Please don’t stay on your own (even if it is possibly what you want to do). Have you spoken to you gp? Have you thought of having counselling support? I have been myself through very difficult time many years ago and it really helped me to go through it and I dare to say to survive. Please be in touch. I am here if you need me. Take care. Sending you a big hug 💖

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Thank you for your message and kind words 💕. I’m going to get in touch with SANDS for some counselling which hopefully may help xX

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Take care xxx

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Absolutely heart breaking to hear of your loss. I am so glad to read that you have been in contact with Diane and SANDS though. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. Sending you lots of love 💗 x x x

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Oh hunny I haven’t been on here for a couple of weeks and have only just seen your post. I am so truly sorry for what you have been through, I know there are no words, but I just wanted to say that you are in my thoughts and sending you all the love in the world. As all the ladies have said take one day at a time and allow yourself to grieve and be as selfish as need to be x x x

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