Baby shower

[Doglover7866]

Going to a friends baby shower today. Thought I’d be ok but really struggling. Any tips on how to make it through the next 4 hrs xxxx

[Lots8788]

Ah hun x I know how you feel. How close is this friend? I had one a while back and felt really strong then as I was getting ready to go I just couldn't do it and just couldn't stop crying. In the end I said I wasn't feeling great, went out by myself for a walk and a coffee and just spent some time alone which helped. I then caught up with her separately at a later date. If it's a close friend and you really want to go (I have one of them coming up next month) then maybe try some meditation beforehand? the headspace app or YouTube always helps me. just some breathing for 5 mins or so. maybe make sure you have something planned after that is just for you doing something you enjoy e.g. reading a book with a cuppa.

Take it easy x we're all here for you x

[S_asha]

Do you really have to go? I personally would be tempted to not go. I made excuses for my last invite and got my friend a bigger present than normal plus a little thoughtful extra. If this is a really close friend would she not understand? Mine was a colleague rather than close friend and I simply made an excuse and she loved her present I gave her at work the following Monday but I think with a really close friend I would be tempted to just tell the truth stressing I was really happy for her and could we celebrate just the 2 of us at a later date. Personally to go for me I'd be worried about crying and spoiling my friend's moment or drawing attention to myself in a room full of people I didn't know properly. Either way whatever you decide I wish you lots of luck and hope you will be ok. Really feel for you xxx

[Hidden]

If you can't face it then don't go and make up a stomach virus!

[FlowerofLondon]

Biggest of hugs - this is not an easy decision. If it’s a really close friend I’m sure they will understand.

I can imagine you’re thinking of them and wanting to be there for your friend but equally you need to think of yourself also.

If you do decide to go, maybe have a friend/relative on standby who’s not going to the shower who you can call if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Excuse yourself and head to the toilet then make that call

Again if you feel that you need to go maybe let the mum to be know that “something has come up” so you can only go for an hour or so and not the whole event- let her know previously so sort of a win win

I’m sorry if this isn’t much help. Just remember it’s not being selfish taking time for yourself. This whole process takes it toll and taking care of your mental health is equally as important x

[Doglover7866]

Thanks for all your reply’s. Am here and not too bad but feel like I can only do an hour xx

[Lots8788 in reply to Doglover7866]

You're doing so well in going. If you can only do an hour then an hour is more than enough! xx

[Hidden]

I Agree if you can only do an hour that’s fine, I couldn’t even manage to go to my cousins baby shower but I’ve met her baby since and she’s beautiful my anxiety has gone about being around her and her baby now.

[Doglover7866]

I did the duration! Ready to cry now though but your support really helped xx

[Lots8788 in reply to Doglover7866]

Well done hun, G&T sounds good! xx

[Fofo121 in reply to Doglover7866]

I had my sisters yesterday. Was pretty hard. Seeing as a had a BFN that morning. Curled up now for the day and don’t want to see anyone. No one knows what I am going through so they didn’t know how I felt - all smiles on the outside. I’m being very hard on myself not telling anyone. Does anyone else not feel like telling anyone what they are going through?

[Lots8788 in reply to Fofo121]

Hiya, ah sorry to hear that,that must have been so difficult! Hope you have some nice things planned for today/ tomorrow. We didn't tell anyone for a while and then to be honest,the pressie of acting like everything was normal and not telling people felt worse,so we told code friend and family and a few people at work e.g..boss x x

[Fofo121 in reply to Lots8788]

Told my boss as needed time of work loads but he’s not exactly a shoulder to cry on! It’s not over till it’s over as far as I am concerned. Blood test Tuesday so I am still hoping for a miracle! ❤️

[Lots8788 in reply to Fofo121]

Have everything crossed for you hun x x

[AJJ123 in reply to Fofo121]

Yes totally don’t want to tell anyone this time not even boss. There’s so much expectation when you tell people, they just expect it to be the miracle fix and when your empty handed and your pockets are empty you kind of wish you’d not said anything double trauma x

[Fofo121 in reply to AJJ123]

Answered as per above but yes I feel you. Don’t want to tell anyone and answer all the questions 🙈

[AJJ123]

A good G&T usually resolves any heartache for me lol.

I think to myself, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy this if I were pregnant - I know that we’d all rather a baby but it’s a good temporary measure.

Most people wouldn’t agree with this but I’ve been having the odd drink and will do until transfer next week. It’s bloody stressful and I did everything right last time and it got me nowhere.

I’m not saying alcohol is the way forward, any reliever ... a massage ... you can’t have those until your third trimester... shelfish, Parmesan, the list goes on lol otherwise we end up in a rut feeling totally crap xx

[PurpleLove19]

Good on you for going- I wouldn’t have the strength x

[LunaLovegood11]

Hope you’re ok. I had the same a while ago and was dreading it. My friend knew we were trying but not that that we have problems, but I told her beforehand and she was lovely and totally understood. She’s had 4 miscarriages in one year before herself so had her own struggles. I think being honest with good friends helps, and not feeling guilty for looking after your own mental health is important.

[staaa88]

You don’t have to go, in fact you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. That’s the mantra I’ve taken in recent months and it’s helped with my mindset. Honestly I find baby showers intolerable, even before I ever started trying for a baby. Really consider if you should go, look after number one and your mindset above anything else. Xxxxx

[Doglover7866]

It wasn’t as bad as I had made it out to be in my head. I was lucky to come home to a great husband and happy dogs xx

[S_asha in reply to Doglover7866]

Glad it went ok. Dogs are great aren't they- always so affectionate and know when you need some extra love!! I've taken to doing some extra walks when I'm having a bad day x

[FlowerofLondon]

You’re so amazing and incredibly strong Xx