1st ivf fresh cycle Absolutely heart broken ended in a miscarriage at 5 weeks :(

[Dumbo12068]

Hi,

I am in a same sex marriage me and my wife have had a pretty rough month, we are having to do reciprocal IVF. Because I'm not producing enough eggs and the ones I am, aren’t a very good size/quality so my wife did the egg collection and I had the embryo transfer. We were both so excited and I feel now we went into it so blindly (well i did) we have 9, 5 day blasto embryos in the freezer which is amazing as my wife had been over stimulated and ended up in hospital but they are all top quality grades which is great!!

We had egg collection on 26th March and 1 embryo transferred on Mother’s day which we thought wow what a day to have the transfer! We did a test 10 days later as our clinic said that was the day to do it on but we did do several over those 10 day (naughty I know) but each one was a BFP!! So excited and just so happy it had worked! We worked out dates etc and our 12 weeks we would have been announcing it on my wife’s birthday so dates were just absolutely perfect I went back to work and I started to have brown discharge I wasn’t worried as they said it can be normal so carried on then it came to nearly the end of my shift and I went to the loo bright red blood and doubled over in pain I knew something was wrong! So I waited until the end of my shift as none of my work colleagues knew anything and went home straight upstairs to my wife sobbing my heart out explaining everything. So we went to a+e and after 2 hours at this time it was 3am. I finished work at 12am they said we would be going to the EPAS unit but we had an 8 hour wait so we decided there wasn’t much that could be done so went home took some paracetamol and tried to sleep it off until the next morning. After a scan and a few blood tests over a week we eventually found out we had miscarried absolutely devastated and just didn’t know how to feel lots of tears etc my wife is so supportive and we just stayed and home cuddled up for a few days. We are going for more treatment which will be in about 3 months I think roughly and it'll be 2 frozen embryos this time.

I just wanted to know about other people’s success with the second time I know it’s abit pot luck really sorry if this is very long winded it’s just going round and round in my mind and my wife bless her just get battered with questions from me all the time so wanted to try and speak to others to give her a-bit of breathing space to deal with it as-well.

Thanks for listen to me ramble on

[Kitcat12]

Bless you lovely, it's an absolutely heart wrenching and horrendous experience. I'm so sorry for your loss. Look after each other ❤️

[Dumbo12068 in reply to Kitcat12]

Thank you so much kitcat12 it is 💔 but we are trying to remain positive for the next one as we are lucky that we even got a BFP the first time xx

[Kitcat12 in reply to Dumbo12068]

It's really hard to look at the positives when you're going through a miscarriage. After my MC at 6 weeks I found counselling really valuable, to help me focus on the positives. All the best of luck for next time, if you decide to try again x

[Dumbo12068 in reply to Kitcat12]

We are definitely going to do it again just got to wait for my body to return to normal again and then start the process again after my first natural cycle but we are thinking of going to talk to the councillor at our clinic just to talk it through etc xxxx

[Dumbo12068 in reply to Dumbo12068]

Thank you so much again kitcat12 x

[Shelleybean]

I’m so sorry, really sad for you 😢 We lost our first IVF pregnancy too last year so know how much it hurts. Counselling really helped us understand how we/ each other were feeling to support each other better. You have all those Frosties waiting for you, which is an AMAZING place to be. One of those is your baby 🌈 Take care and try to relax over the next few months you have off xx

[Dumbo12068 in reply to Shelleybean]

Thank you shelleybean yes just relaxing and slowly doing jobs in the house that we have wanted to do for a while just trying to take our mind off it for a little while and I don’t want to think about it all the time but it’s very hard not too!! But yes hopefully one of those beautiful little Frosties will be our baby one day xxxxx

[2-shades-of-hope]

So sorry for you both, it is devastating. Nine embryos is a fantastic number so I really hope that you will have success next time, but I know that doesn’t take the pain of this away. Xx

[Dumbo12068 in reply to 2-shades-of-hope]

Thank you very much it is very devastating but your right 9 is a great number of embryos to have left and hopefully one of them will give us our beautiful baby 💖💙 it doesnt take the pain away but we are trying to remain positive in that we got pregnant at all and that we have that number of embryos left xxx