I think we were too naive in telling our family about our transfer date. We have just had a positive test today and now we are worried about managing their expectations. They’re all keen to know the results but actually we don’t want to say anything until the 12 week point.
Could anyone offer any tips or advise please? Xx
Hi staaa88, All of my close friends and family know where I’m at with it all. I wasn’t going to tell anyone but it’s not in my nature. If they have known all along, I’m sure they will always be supportive.
They are probably glad to be part of your journey what ever happens. Try not worry, as long you and baby are ok, that’s all that matters. Xx
That’s what I thought, but my husbands family have had it pretty rough, his mum is terminally ill and my sister in law lost her daughter to suicide. So I’m trying to give them good news by keeping them in the loop but if it doesn’t work out I’m going to have to give them bad news which they’ve had enough of! So you can see why I’m so worried 😟
Hi Staaa88 I told my family this weekend about our positive result, even though my official test date isn’t until Wed. I know what you are saying totally, my family have also had an awful 18 months, my partner and I have lost both grandads, my father passed away following an asthma attack, my nan got dementia, and breast cancer and had to have her breast removed. My father in law had a heart attack and then left his wife as he was having an affair and we lost our dog. We have been ttc for 17 years and it’s always someone else in the family with any new child news, cousins or sisters, or sister in law etc and my partner and I thought why not let us have our positive time, no matter how long it lasts (hopefully forever!) and my family need something good to focus on and get excited about and if anything happens then they will understand and be supportive and I’m sure yours will be the same. Everyone is different though, so do what makes you happy xx
Thanks for your response, So sorry for your bad news, sounds like you were thinking what I was originally thinking. I just started to panic and thought it would be best to hold off...
Aw hon, congratulations on your positive 
It's really lovely of you to want to protect your in-laws in case of bad news but if they've been in the loop this far how are you going to keep things quiet now? Pretend it's negative? I don't see any other way except to tell them.
We ended up telling direct family at Christmas (when I was 8 weeks) but asking them to keep it quiet from other people until 12 weeks. As it turns out, my MIL was taken into intensive care midway through January (before our 12 week scan) and passed away not long after, so I'm so glad we got to enjoy the good news with her over the holidays and have a last lovely Christmas all together and celebrating our good news.
Hope everything goes well with your pregnancy and you can find a way out of your dilemma xxx
That’s so sad, I’ve been thinking about this all day. Given my MIL situation maybe I should say something and at least it will give her something to look forward to.
I was like you and worried as we had 3 loses previously but it is good (my opinion) to tell a select few as then you have the support, I did however not tell them of scans or appointments as I think this adds pressure, big congratulation!!!! xx
I haven't been in your shoes- hopefully soon will be- but I remember a friend telling me early on about a pregnancy. I asked was she not waiting til 12 weeks as is custom. Her response was that if she had a mc she would want and need support of those closest to her, and that she didnt feel that she should have to cope alone if that happened at 6/7/11 or 24 weeks pregnant. Which I thought was a good point.
I think tell them and let them join you in your good news. And they will surely be there to support you if you have any problems. That's what families are for. Don't pressure yourself about protecting them, let them in to celebrate with you.
I told them a little white lie and said that it would be a while before we knew if it had worked because a pregnancy test could give a false positive because of my meds. I said we’d know if it hadn’t worked, but we wouldn’t know if it had worked until my scan. That then gave me some time and I told them after my viability scan.
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