Another family announcement

This week has been horrendous - I ended up having to look after my mother in law this week who became very unwell, thankfully we now have her in hospital where she is getting the card she needs. I was thankful that it was a BFN last week as it meant it was easier for me to lift her etc etc. We went up to the hospital last night and my husband's brother & wife were there, my sister in law is one of the only ones that knows our issues and results, she was asking how I was and I said I was fine- which I actually thought I was but then she told me she was pregnant again - and it turns out I'm not Ok!!! We both left the hospital in tears last night and I felt so bad for her as she was so nervous about telling me so she was giving me prior notice so that I could deal with it. I feel horrible now as I know she is going to feel bad anytime she talks about this pregnancy in my company which is not what I wanted. Since being told we needed IVF we have had 2 nephews & 1 niece born with now a 4th one on the way. It's not really getting any easier.

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  • Big hugs. Being burdened with guilt of others feeling bad for having children is horrid. :( I don't want special treatment! :(

    Sorry you've had a shitty week xx

  • Thank you! Feel so bad for her now as I know she is going to feel bad anytime I see her! Oh and to top my week off we got the letter in from the clinic after our failed cycle!! They were disappointed at my response to the stimulation - 3 eggs collected- the quality of the 2 embryos transferred back were a 4BC and a 3BC!! Willing to try everything now for 2nd cycle!! Hope you are still ok? X

  • It makes you feel so sad that they have to make extra effort and can't just be themselves. :(

    Did the clinic not discuss this with you at the time? No point telling you now they were disappointed?

    I'm all good. Trying to hang in there on 2ww. X

  • At the time of transfer they said the embryos were of fair quality! They send out a letter anyway after every cycle - successful or not - and go through it bit by bit. They have said that they wouldn't change anything in the next cycle - it sure what they could change really as was on 300 dose of Gonal-f anyway! Had my first accupuncture session this week & have started the diet again so hopefully I will give myself every fighting chance! X

  • Good luck :) xx

  • Did they add in a bit of menopur as well? My second cycle was a much better response than my first, I had 300 gonal f for five days then went down to 225 gonal f and one vial of menopur for three days. They also got me to take three vials of pregnyl and do my trigger shot 37 hours before EC rather than 36 hours, so a higher percentage of my eggs were mature. They also then did icsi and the upshot was that on my first cycle I got 1/3 fertilization, on my second cycle it was 7/9. I would question why they can't make any more changes for you.

  • Ps my first cycle was menopur only so it was a complete drug change, but I've seen women on here being recommended to change the other way, from gonal f to only menopur!

  • No, we've only had 1 cycle - I was 9 days on Gonal-f only. By the time EC happened I was pretty much 37 hrs. We have a follow up appointment on 1st June so I'll ask about the Menpour. The only thing is it was a private clinic we were with and had to order the medication from Stork - what a name!!!!

  • Even a private clinic should be able to point you in the right direction to be able to get the drugs you need... some ladies on here order them from


  • So sorry to hear about your bfn, your mil and now this, you're right not to be ok with it, I doubt any of us would. It's just still so raw for you & such bad timing. I understand how you feel because my sister in law is also pregnant and they worried about telling us because they know about our situation. I'm in the 2ww of our 4th cycle and dreading seeing her develop if it's another negative for us 😔 It's so hard but you're not alone, sending hugs xxx

  • Thank you - it's so hard sometimes - I did honestly think I was ok - I thought I had turned the corner! I told my DH last night that I think I was crying because I feel bad for her about feeling bad telling me!! She's so harmless and must have been so hard for her to tell me. Good luck in your 2ww, hopefully you'll get to share your pregnancy with your sister in law! X

  • That's how I felt, they were so sensitive towards our feelings & situation and actually told us before anyone else which only made me feel even worse! I think it's because you just never thought you'd be this person 😕

    Thanks for your wishes xx

  • Lorraine,

    I went through something similar to this a while ago and it was so hard. Know that it will get easier as the days go by. Allow yourself to be sad- sometimes we need it. Be kind to yourself in the days to come and know that you will be ok. Sending lots of hugs your way. Remember- you are strong and kind and miracles do happen. Xxx

  • Ah it's so tough and sometimes the emotions jus can't be controlled. I'm sure she will understand that it's not that you aren't happy for her, it's just a reminder of the pain that you are holding and that's really hard xx

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