Feeling 'empty' after no transfer

[aamiller405]

Been having a bad few days. I think its because I'm due to go back to work soon, I had booked annual leave to fall while I was having IVF. So I expected by the time I went back to work I would be in my 2ww. (For those of you who don't know, my cycle was cancelled because a polyp was found in my womb)

And now going back not even having had the transfer, I dunno its just getting on top of me.

I have frozen embryos there waiting and I am so grateful for that but its just not where I thought I'd be right now, I thought I'd have an embryo inside by now.

I suppose I had prepared for the cycle to succeed or fail at the implantation stage but never prepared not to even make it that far.

And now its just back to more waiting, I thought after 3 plus years of waiting I was finally done waiting and it was our turn to be giving this a real go.

I know so many of you have had a far tougher journey than me and I have so much to be grateful for but I've just been feeling pretty miserable the past couple of days and I suppose this is my safe space to say how I'm really feeling.

[kirstyblue]

Waiting is the most frustrating part. I’ve been there too. I was meant to have a fresh transfer but I had ohss so I had to wait and have them frozen. Was absolutely gutted having to wait but it all worked out for the best. They do say higher chances with a frozen cycle. Good luck x

[aamiller405 in reply to kirstyblue]

Thank you, I'm sure I'll come round just having a bad few days but will pick myself up again, thank you for your message xo

[3005]

So sorry to hear you have to wait, it must be so frustrating. But brilliant news you have good frozen embryos, like Kirstyblue I’ve heard FETs have better chances.

Better to get the polyp sorted and then you can feel comfortable in the knowledge that it won’t hinder any chances when your little embryo(s) go back in.

Hope the wait is not too long X

[aamiller405 in reply to 3005]

Thank you.. Yeah like you said I know its the right decision to wait.. Just feeling sorry for myself today I suppose 🙈 thanks again xo

[Debrakay1704]

oh hun, the waiting must be terrible for you, please try and stay strong and hopefully it will happen soon for you. xxx

[aamiller405 in reply to Debrakay1704]

Thank you, appreciate the kind message xo

[Banbha83]

Awh I am so sorry to hear your cycle was cancelled! Are you able to take any more time off? Maybe speak to your GP? I’m a week on from failed cycle and I am still struggling. Be kind to yourself, it’s such a stressful process. Great news about the frozen embryos xxx

[aamiller405 in reply to Banbha83]

I think I'm probably better going back to work and being busy to help the wait go in, not sure how I'm going to manage getting time off now next time around though as all our work holidays have to be booked for the full year in advance.. But ill worry about that at the time.

Aw so sorry to hear about your cycle, I can't imagine how difficult that must be, I hope you start to feel a bit better soon xo

[Banbha83 in reply to aamiller405]

Well this is it, if you are busy that will keep your mind off things!

Ah I’m ok, just trying to get on with it....from being in the group I’ve had it easy compared to some. Who knows what can happen naturally though! Xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Banbha83]

Hope things turn a corner for you soon.. Best of luck xox

[Banbha83 in reply to aamiller405]

Thank you xxx and you 💕

[MissSaoPaulo]

I had OHSS and had to postpone transfer. If we'd stuck to the original timeline I would have been testing on my Birthday. It is disappointing, even though you know it's for the best. Hope they can get that polyp sorted soon, but your frosties aren't going anywhere in the meantime xxx

[aamiller405 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Thank you, yeah I know I'm so lucky to have the frosties waiting.. Hope things are going well for you now xo

[MissSaoPaulo in reply to aamiller405]

The delay actually worked out for the best, successful transfer and she's due in mid-winter here in Brazil, definitely the best time of year to be 9 months pregnant here!! Hope your wait isn't too long xxx

[aamiller405 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

Aw brilliant congratulations xo

[Dreamingofbaby]

Hey not surprised u feel like this so sorry. Hopefully can all be sorted ready for another one soon. Take good care u xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Dreamingofbaby]

Thank you xo

[Montgomery2]

I know how you feel I went in for my transfer and it had to be cancelled as I had high progesterone. I was able to cancel my leave and go straight back to work so that was better for me.

Just know at least one of your babies weren’t wasted. Xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Montgomery2]

Thank you, yeah I'm sure I'll feel better once I'm actually back at work and keeping busy xo

[Hidden]

Sorry to read this. This is just how I felt. It is a hue anti-climax when you’re mentally prepared for the standard run of things, the two week wait etc but then it all stops. I think the ‘come-down’ from all the hormones doesn’t help either. I had a really low patch then felt a bit better then am low/hormonal again at the moment. Takes a long time for these things to settle. Keep being kind to yourself - it’s a big thing you’ve been through. Xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

I'm glad to hear you felt the same in a bittersweet way because obviously I wish you hadn't been through it.

But hopefully we both feel better and get on with things soon xo

[Hidden in reply to aamiller405]

Yes - I’m sure it’ll come good for us both (and soon I hope!) I think there are inevitable lows but it does get easier. The positives are that there is evidence of increased success with later transfer so fingers crossed when it happens it’ll be a good one. Also, I’m trying to enjoy this spell of no appointments, no drugs etc so time and space to do nice things and set aside the fertility battle for a few weeks. It’s finding flowers in the mud of the fertility journey! Xx

[aamiller405 in reply to Hidden]

Love that little saying at the end.. Thats very true.. Im just about to have a glass of guilt free wine for once and chill.. Hope you have a nice weekend xo

[Nobabyyet]

Aw sorry to hear you are so low. Enjoy that wine and try and look as this time as your last chance to drink wine, lie in hot tubs and not need a baby sitter for a while. Be completely self-indulgent.x

[aamiller405 in reply to Nobabyyet]

Thank you, definitely the best way to look at things.. All the best for.tomorrow xo

[Mifkipi]

Aww. I know how it feels. My fresh cycle was also cancelled and the wait was frustrating. I did however book a holiday abroad and drank as much wine as possible. Once you have that little embie on board (and hopefully that turns into a little human) there will be so much you won't be able to do and miss doing! Try to enjoy this time X also FET has a better success rate!

[aamiller405 in reply to Mifkipi]

Thank you very much, appreciate your advice xo