My auntie is currently in hospital, having her 8th baby, and although I’m over the moon for her and her husband. I can’t help but feel sad for me and my husband, and I’m so worried now, how am I going to cope going round to see her and the baby? I was suppose to be her birthing partner but I changed my mind and explained I don’t think I could put myself through it... anyone have any advice as I clearly have to go and see her and the baby at some point? Sorry if this sounds like I’m being selfish. X
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ChloeL934
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Hi yeah I’m feeling the same with my cousin she due in April and I don’t really know how I’m going to feel. I’ve been around my friend she has foster babies and has had babies after I’ve mc before and have been ok but she’s family it’s different.
It’s hard isn’t it? I’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong... but I don’t want to sit there watching it when it’s all I want if that makes sense? When we do eventually go there, I don’t want people to feel sorry for us and not know how to act around us. Yeah totally agree family is different xx
Yeah definitely just thinking about it I just can’t bare the thought right now.
Ah, your not being selfish at all! I think if you can try and go round at a time that works for you, on a day when you feel stronger and go when there aren't any other people perhaps that will all help? I've heard other people on here say it helps to remind yourself - it's not their baby you want, but your own, it somehow eases the sadness I think. Good luck!! X
Thank you, myself and my husband have decided we are going to give them space for a few days and go when no one else is around. (Hopefully) and thank you that makes so much more sense now I’ve heard it - I haven’t heard someone say that before, exactly that... I want my own baby. Xx
It is so hard and you're definitely not being selfish. My SIL had her first and we went around when no one else was there and it was the "easiest" way to deal with it. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to cry so much, but I did't (well i didnt burst out crying in front of them) and the next time I went it was a little easier and every time after it got easier. My neice is amazing but I too want my own baby. I will be having to do the same again in May as SIL is pregnant again and it will happen all over again. I don't think anything will take those emotions away and the longing we have to feel what they feel at that time. Sending hugs xx
Thank you for replying to me... yeah we have made the decision to wait a few days, let everything settle then go over. Exactly that- nobody can take the emotions away. Sending hugs back thank you xx
I know how you feel! In 2018 alone we had seven new babies in the family and I had to go see all of them, with a smile and a bag full of gifts that I'd bought holding back tears in the shop each time. It was definitely harder with so many others around and having to listen to them all talk about their own pregnancies and babies, so I agree to go when there is no one else around so you can feel more in control and less exposed and self conscious. Remember that you are stronger than you think, you can do this - even if there were ten babies lined up for you to go see! This is the up side of infertility that we don't realise - as hard as it all is, bloody hell we become soldiers in the process! Ain't nothing that can break us! Good luck X
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