Feeling down

Sorry but just need to moan today, my husbands family seem to be popping children out one after another his sister gave birth to a healthy little girl last month and he's told me today that his sister inlaw is going to be induced tomorrow. I feel so guilty cause with the best will in the world I wish them good luck but it just gives me a deep down sadness wondering if we will ever get to expirecnce the joy of having a child.

We have a appointment next month with consultant at the end of the month post op check after tube removal and we know that he wants to put us straight on to ivf treatment.

My husbands family all live in Ireland and bless them they try to understand what we are going through but they just don't get it. I think unless you are facing it you never understand fully.

We have a planned trip to Ireland end of Sept and he plans on touring round seeing his new nephews and nieces, I'm not sure how long I will be able to hold up the cooing over baby's without sending myself mad. I don't feel able to explain this properly to my husband as he knows I feel a total outsider to his family and he thinks I should just throw myself into it and enjoy the time we are around his family. There are 7 brothers and sisters and I often feel very overwelmbed by then.

Sigghh I guess it will all work out in the long run....

Sorry about my rant and over emotional post.

Sending everyone loads of baby dust and good luck on your journeys x

12 Replies

  • Hi! I think you can only understand somebody in this situation if you have been through it! I feel the same when I hear that another friend it having a baby! I feel very sad for us and jelous in a way but I am still happy for them. I am just hoping my treatment it is going to work and one day we will be happy. I think it is impossible not be get emotional at some point but we need to keep on going and take all the chances that we have. I am thinking positive and I really want this to work and to have a positive result.

    Good luck! xxx Be strong! :)

  • Thank you, your right about stating positive over treatment, I certainly intend to take all the chances we get and pray that something works.

    Good luck with your journey x

  • We are here to help you so please keep on writing about your feelings. It sounds like you are at the beginning of your journey. It's exciting!

    All the best with your journey x

  • Thanks mel30 I'm sure once I get my foot on the first rung on the ladder of treatment I will feel so excited I'm just filled with what if's at the moment and nerves.

    Yes writing things down does help.

    Good luck with your journey x

  • It is very good to write here! you don't feel so alone anymore! It is very sad to see so many people are going through this but on this forum we can encourage each other! It really helps!


  • There's nothing that makes your loss feel

    so raw as pregnancy announcents and he birth of more babies! Especially when people are popping them out with ease. I would also struggle with the thought of this visit but sometimes once you're there it's not so bad. And, if it all gets too much at least you have this forum to get you through it! x

  • Hi, I am in a very simliar position. My two sisters in law have had babies in the last year (in fact, so have two of my friends, my niece had her 2nd child, and two work colleagues have also had babies in the last twelve months!!!) It has been pregnancies everywhere for me!! So bloomin unfair. My husbands family live at the other side of the country and I rarely go with him to visit as I have always felt like an outsider. It is worse now that both his sister and sister in law have babies, they have naturally become very close and I just feel like a third wheel and less of a woman when I am around them. My advice would be to ask your husband can you book a B&B near his family instead of staying with them as it means you have your own space to escape to when it gets too much. Also plan lots of activities and day trips so that you arent always around his family. It is your holiday too and time for you and husband to get time out from all the stresses of this IVF journey and enjoy yourselves and relax. Plus, Ireland has lots of pubs (im irish) and pubs are not baby friendly, so its unlikey that you will see any babies there! ;-) ;-) so if all else fails then go to the pub alot and enjoy the craic :-) xx

  • Thanks lou79 nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

    He won't budge on we have to stay with his family although I have managed to convince him to hire a car so should give us more freedom and time to ourselfs a bit.

    I never realised that about pubs in Ireland I will definatly be using that piece of advice 😉

    Thank you x

  • I agree with comments that state you only truly understand if you have travelled the journey yourself! For me babies I could deal with, pregnant women I couldn't! Like you it was my tubes that stopped me from conceiving a child due to severe endo. My right side including my ovary is totally rubbish! I found it so hard being around pregnant people. I also was not too keen on the idea of IVF (2 years ago!) However, just to give you hope, we finished our first IVF cycle the end of May and got a BFP. Do not give up hope it really does work! xxxxx

  • Thanks EllieD it's certainly a roller coster of emotions.

    Awww that's lovely to hear congratulations and all the best for the future.

  • Thinking of you and sending you love support and strength xx

  • Thanks hopeforicsi feeling a bit stronger today

    Wish you good luck on your journey x

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