Struggling today....: Hi all, I’ve been... - Fertility Network UK

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Struggling today....

ChloeL934 profile image
16 Replies

Hi all,

I’ve been doing quite well recently, taking some time away to let everything sink in. Me and my husband was told we would need IVF due to husbands morphology, he has a very large family so lots of children, niece. Nephew. we’ve been trying for nearly 3 years, nothing. His brother and “girlfriend” who’s been together 4 weeks announced today they are expecting. Am I being silly letting this get to me? I’m thinking what did we do so wrong? Why us? 4 weeks they’ve been together!!! she’s only 18 I’m so fed up and I really don’t know how to pick myself back up. I feel like a really horrible person right now. Just a rant really xx

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ChloeL934
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16 Replies
Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

You’re not at all horrible. Believe it or not we’ve all been in similar situations at one stage or another. It’s perfectly normal to feel some jealousy, some anger and resentment. Please don’t be so hard on yourself xx

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934 in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you so much xx

Cooking-Queen20 profile image
Cooking-Queen20

Oh, I know how you feel. Countless situations and clangers that people have dropped.

Pause allow yourself to feel what you feel. Cry if you have to, stamp your feet and do whatever you have to do - in the realm of the legal :)

Let the hurt, pain, frustration and unfairness go. And then focus on you. What you and your husband need to do to drive towards your dream and be a united front.

None of this is fair, but the ladies here are some of the toughest, strongest, most persistent I know.

Keep sharing we are here for you.

Big hug!

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934 in reply to Cooking-Queen20

Thank you. I’m so grateful for this forum. Such supportive lovely people xx

Shelleybean profile image
Shelleybean

I would be really upset by this too. Don’t be too tough on yourself. Go and do something nice to cheer yourself up maybe and just think how loved your much longed for baby will be when he/ she finally arrives xx

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934 in reply to Shelleybean

Thank you. This comment has stuck with me today xxx

lemonverbana profile image
lemonverbana

I think let yourself be mad at the world, but then try to pick yourself back up and know it's okay. My husband also comes from a large family, and it's so depressing knowing how quickly they all got pregnant. And I hate when they said "Don't worry, it'll happen! I know it will!! You're going to be a great mum!" And I can't help but want to be so angry with them because it hasn't happened. Why isn't it happening! Then I realise that I shouldn't feel this way, and it's not their fault and it's not my fault. It will be okay. Keep letting out your feelings though!! Never hold them in!

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934 in reply to lemonverbana

Omg. The frustration. I hate it when people say that to me too! Thank you xx

Vegemite profile image
Vegemite

Be horrible for a minute... allow yourself that... then be strong!!!

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934 in reply to Vegemite

Thank you xx

crisps88 profile image
crisps88

You’re not horrid at all. You’re going through so much and your mind and body are taking their toll. It is totally understandable and acceptable to feel like that. Envy and jealousy are part of it. But you will be happy for them and in time you will learn to process it differently. You’re doing amazing so far and this journey is a rollercoaster don’t forget that. Be kind to yourself darling xxxx

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934 in reply to crisps88

Thank you so much xx

Kiedy84 profile image
Kiedy84

I have been there hun, certain announcements are worse than others. This one...omg I am so sorry, live is so unfair 😢😢

Allow yourself time to be sad and angry.

Cry.

We are here for you and we all understand.

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934 in reply to Kiedy84

yeah. This one has upset me the most, just because of certain circumstances eg drink, drugs.... and I’m trying over here not the healthiest but certainly no drink drugs involved and I feel like it’s never going to happen. I guess we all need time to be angry sometimes xx

Hi ChloeL934,

You are entitled to a rant and we all get you and totally understand,big hugs

🤗

Louise

Xxxx😘

ChloeL934 profile image
ChloeL934 in reply to

Thanks so much xx

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