Cornual ectopic , devastated - Fertility Network UK

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Cornual ectopic , devastated

Abaco profile image
56 Replies

Haven't posted on here for a while, it appeared last week that we were third time lucky and it had worked for us! Beta numbers were more then doubling and everything was on track, then we had our 6 week scan where they detected 2 sacs and we could see one little heartbeat pulsating on screen. However the embryos were very high up and there was suspicion that I might be having a cornual ectopic. Fast forward several hours I'm now sitting in the hospital ward and am going to have my embryos removed laparoscopically tomorrow. We are devastated there is such a slim chance of this happening our 2 lovely little strong embryos will be gone tomorrow and I'm struggling to cone to terms with it all. I'm also petrified of the surgery. Any words of encouragement, advice help or anyone who has had this happen to them and have got through it will be most welcome right now. Thank you for reading xxx

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Abaco profile image
Abaco
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56 Replies

Oh no Abaco, I am so sorry to read this. It is devastating to get this far only to have everything ripped away from you. I only hope that you are able to be there for each other and see the positive - in that you are able to get a positive. You will get there one day. It is so hard but we also had to go through similar earlier this year. Big hugs xxx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to

Thank you so much for your kind words, we have been told if all goes well we can try again it's all so very hard to take xxx

in reply to Abaco

It totally is, but as Tugsgirl has said, hopefully you can try again soon. I am an annoying optimist and as we were going through this similar scenario I kept telling myself that at least we now knew it was possible(we had never had a positive before), it was likely we would be extremely fertile for a few months following, and we could get going again soon.

I wish you lots of strength and love. Take some time to heal, go on a wee break just the two of you, enjoy Christmas, then get right back on that horse! Xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to

Thank you so much for your words, that is exactly what I need to hear right now I need that positivity to get back onto it as I can't give up it's the only thing that's keeping me going right now!

in reply to Abaco

By the way, I am now 8weeks pregnant. My first ended in April but I had the drugs rather than an operation so it took a little longer to get back to it than I had hoped (have to wait for the drugs to leave the system) I also insisted on lots of other tests. Then it was holidays for the clinic, then I was on holiday when they wanted me to start taking the drugs. Anyway, the first attempt following we have success. Xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to

That's reassuring to know thank you and congratulations on your pregnancy it gives me a lot of hope. Xxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

A friend of mine had the surgery and although she was a little sore and tender afterwards she was in and out the same day and it was all very quick. I’m so sorry to hear your news. How very sad xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you for your kind words, this is reassuring to know that your friend was in and out quickly, did she have a lot of pain afterwards do you know? Ty for replying xxx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl in reply to Abaco

No. She was just a little sore and tired. She had to take it easy for a little while xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Tugsgirl

Thank you that is very reassuring to know x x

Kari55 profile image
Kari55

Oh hun, I’m so sorry to hear this 🙁 I’m sending lots of love. Please consider counselling to help you to go through this tough experience xxx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Kari55

Ty for your kind reply, yes will consider counselling am not coping very well emotionally right now xxx

Georgie17 profile image
Georgie17

I'm so sorry this is happening. Take care of yourself xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Georgie17

Ty Georgie, this process is so very cruel isn't it xxx

Pookymama profile image
Pookymama

I'm so sorry to hear this Abaco! It's so cruel when you have come so far!

Be gentle with yourself and take all the time and care you need to heal.

I send prayers of hope for you to get through this and see better days to come.

Massive hugs and love xxx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Pookymama

Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot to me! Xxx

2-shades-of-hope profile image
2-shades-of-hope

I’m so sorry. This is such a cruel and heartbreaking outcome. I am thinking of you x

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to 2-shades-of-hope

Thank you that means a lot to me! Xxx

Jonesjp profile image
Jonesjp

I’m so sorry to read this hunny, sending you much love this journey is so difficult to get your head around sometimes, it just seems so bloody cruel 😘

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Jonesjp

You're right it is cruel! Thank you for your kind words xxx

Rowly88 profile image
Rowly88

Just saw your post and just wanted say how sorry I am to hear your news.

Thinking of you and your partner during this very difficult time xxx take care xxx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Rowly88

Thank you so much for your kind words, this journey is so hard and I never envisaged having to deal with this after getting our much wanted bfp! Xxx

Rowly88 profile image
Rowly88 in reply to Abaco

I recently had a similar experience, I can only say give yourselves time to grieve and give yourself time to recover.

Time is a great healer physically and mentally. You will be ok, your strength will return with time as mine did and this is not the end xxx

You are not alone, myself and others are hear if you need to talk xxx

All the best for your surgery tomorrow, rest up xxx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Rowly88

Thank you so much for your kind words, am absolutely dreading today and all it brings. So very hard to take xxx

Clover5 profile image
Clover5

I’m so sorry to hear your going through this. I’ve had 3 ectopic pregnancies myself so I know how awful it is to get that positive result, only to have it snatched away and then have the worry of surgery. You hardly have any time to let it all sink in, but at least with them catching it early your at less risk of any ruptures and will hopefully be out of hospital within a day. I’m praying once you’ve recovered from all this, you’ll get your little one. I had both my tubes removed eventually, but luckily now I’m 20 weeks pregnant, so there is always hope no matter the outcome. I’ll be thinking of you 💕🙏 xX

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Clover5

Thank you so much for your kind message and I'm so sorry you've had to go through this 3 times! It is good to hear you're 20 weeks pregnant now though it is good to hear you can have success after ectopics. Can I ask, did you get much pain after your surgery? I'm so hoping all goes well and I can go home tomorrow. Xxx

Clover5 profile image
Clover5 in reply to Abaco

You’ll be a bit sore afterwards but it’s more uncomfortable than anything from the gas they blow you up with. It can take a few days to go. Painkillers and hot showers helped me. Make sure you let everyone look after you and rest. I’m wishing you all the best 💕 xX

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Clover5

Thank you for this have such a low pain threshold. I just hope they can do it laprascopically and not resort to open surgery.

Clover5 profile image
Clover5 in reply to Abaco

My first one they tried keyhole, but ended up doing a laparotomy. I was quite a bit further on though with other complications, so hopefully you should be ok 🙏 xX

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Clover5

I'm so hoping it's straightforward but knowing me probably not, dreading today xxx

Clover5 profile image
Clover5 in reply to Abaco

Ahhh bless you. I hope all went well and they managed to do it keyhole. Sending hugs 💕 xX

Oh no! I am so sorry to read this Abaco! This is so so hard on you, my gosh. You are going through something really tough and it is totally ok to be emotionally upset of course, who would not be? Please be kind to yourself, and remember at some point things will get better, they really will.🌱🌱 And you will have your energies and optimism back. A big big hug and lots of positive energy and colour your way...🌹⚘🌷🌻 xxx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to

Thank you so much for your lovely words, cannot wait for tomorrow to be over with it's going to be such a hard day! I hope you are okay too you've also had such a tough time recently, sending lots of love to you xxx

I’m so sorry to read this , hang on in there and sending love at this time xxx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to

Thank you for your kind words, so unbelievably hard to deal with xxx

in reply to Abaco

It’s heartbreaking and no words will make you feel better but know that the ladies in this forum know how it feels and will help you keep strong and let you know that your not alone xxx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to

Could not get through this without you all I really couldn't! Feel so scared right now xxx

in reply to Abaco

I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow 😘 x

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to

Thank you, that means a lot to me xxx

Italy16 profile image
Italy16

Sorry to read what has happened. You must be devastated. Hope it all goes smooth tomorrow and you are at home resting and recovering very soon xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Italy16

Thank you so much for your lovely words im so hoping they can let me out today after it and there are no complications xxx

Cycle5FET1 profile image
Cycle5FET1

So very sorry to hear your news. I had a cornual ectopic with our 2nd round of ivf. We were devestated. Had to have open surgery so was rather sore afterward. But we gradually became ready to try again, the positivity return and determination that we were going to get our much wanted baby. With our 4th cycle we did it, he’s now a very active toddler.

It takes time, a lot of tears and cuddles but you will be ok. And if trying again is something you want then go for it.

Thinking of you xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Cycle5FET1

This is lovely to read ty and gives me a lot of hope, can I ask when they recommend for you to try again? Doctor has said all being well 3 months. Thank you for replying xxx

Cycle5FET1 profile image
Cycle5FET1 in reply to Abaco

As far as I can recall yes I think they said 3 months. But this was 3yrs ago so I can’t be definite. I think we had our 3rd cycle 6 months later. I had to wait over 48hrs for my op, lying in bed waiting for surgery was the worst, I cried the whole time. Saying goodbye to our little embryo was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever had to do. But the strength to go on is found in each other.

If and when you decide to try again i will be honest and say it’s hard. But you can do it.

I’m currently on my 2ww and even though we’ve had a successful pregnancy it never leaves my mind about a possible ectopic.

I’ll be thinking of you today, good luck xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Cycle5FET1

Thank you, similar situation to yours I wAs admitted on Friday and have had to wait until today. I'm unbelievably scared right now and lots of tears have been shed, the surgeon has said wait 6 months, I'm now 44 and time is what I haven't got. We have got 2 more frozen embryos left. Just don't think this is ever going to happen for us xxx

Cycle5FET1 profile image
Cycle5FET1 in reply to Abaco

I know how you are feeling, it’s a very hard time. It feels like the longest wait in hospital but yet you don’t want it to end because then you won’t be pregnant anymore. It’s truly heartbreaking. I don’t wish to upset you with that, I’m just recalling how I felt.

I know what your saying about wanting to try ASAP but please take the time. It’s emotionally and mentally draining and you really have to be back in top form to go again.

A great positive is that you have frozen embryos to try again. I have a very low AMH so we’ve had to have fresh cycles each time with no guarantee that we’ll get any eggs. The cycle we had our son he was the only egg! Miracles do happen.

ac79 profile image
ac79

I am sorry to hear this. I had an ectopic last year following a natural pregnancy. I had been due to go for a hysterectomy to eliminate cancer risk (though no cancer yet). Two weeks before the surgery date, I found out that I was pregnant. The consultant was happy for me to continue with the pregnancy.

Unfortunately, I was in A and E (on the same date that my original surgery was planned) with a suspected ectopic and a ruptured Fallopian tube.

I wasn't able to move for about a week. I was slow for another three weeks. I was back at work on week 6. That said, I think it was a good 6 months before I got my head around things. Even now, over 12 months later, I still have occasional nightmares....

Good luck.

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to ac79

Thank you for your message I'm hoping that it can be done laprascopically and all will be okay dreading today xxxx

Dunla profile image
Dunla

I am really sorry to hear this. Thinking of you at this difficult time xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Dunla

Thank you for your message, operation went well feeling very sore and numb now xxx

MrsAdzee profile image
MrsAdzee

So sorry to hear your sad news. I hope that everything went as smoothly as it could today and that you’ve got plenty of love and support around you. This is such a heartbreaking journey xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to MrsAdzee

Thank you for your message, operation went well and was done laprascopically, we are seeing a bereavement counsellor soon to help us get through this. Xxx

MrsAdzee profile image
MrsAdzee in reply to Abaco

I’m glad to hear the procedure went well. Now it’s time for you to heal - emotionally & physically. I’m glad to hear you are embracing counselling, definitely a step in the right direction. Thinking of you xx

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to MrsAdzee

Thank you so much, that means a lot to me xxx

Ann_ profile image
Ann_

I am sorry to hear your loss especially after IVF, i can somehow relate. After my 2nd IVF i had a Intramural ectopic pregnancy at 8 weeks ( same as you my numbers were doubling by the day ) but they couldn't locate the pregnancy then finally they found it after two weeks of blood work and scans. The pregnancy was terminated the next day.

The only advise i can give stay strong and focus on your health now both mental and physical. Healing takes time but you will get there, its a process and it comes with a lot of emotions. Take heart dear

Abaco profile image
Abaco in reply to Ann_

Thank you for your kind message, that means a lot. It's so very hard to accept this has happened 2% chance that is all, so unfair. Ty for your advice too I agree, I think my husband and I need to stop being defined by ivf for a time to heal and repair, will take time but we are strong together xxx

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