Just been referred for ivf

[EJ_1990]

Hi everyone,

I’m new here so just getting the hang of how this page works, so hopefully you can see this post. Just looking to hear people’s experiences after being referred for ivf. Today we have been referred for nhs funded ivf. Although I’m trying to feel positive I’m struggling as dissapointedly our area only offer one round of nhs funded ivf like many others. ( feel desperately sorry for people who do not even get one funded) Just feel at a loss of how to feel right now. I know we are only at the beginning of this journey but can’t believe it’s come to this. X

[here-_to_get_support]

Hi EJ, welcome. You have come to the right place for support. I'm fairly new myself to this group but I can't tell you how lovely everyone has been. It can take time to come to terms with our different journey to have a family but time and hope does help. Counselling can help and your clinic will be able to offer you this. Always here if you want to talk xx

[runsoncuddles]

Welcome!

It's ok, you must give yourself time to feel everything, try not to feel guilty or wrong because there's not really a rule book or right way of processing the emotions that come with being on this journey. I'm new here too, joined end of October and I've learnt so much from the ladies here than from most medical professionals.

I hope you find the help, listening ear & support here. Wishing you all the best on your journey xx

[EJ_1990]

Thanks guys it’s really nice to receive your messages I’m actually really looking forward to reading other people’s experiences and hopefully preparing myself too. X

[MissSaoPaulo]

I know how you feel. I think for quite long time we were in denial that we couldn't do it ourselves. On the other hand, this is your first step taking some control of a situation that was out of your control before and we did start to feel quite excited after our first consultation.

We don't live in the UK and have to pay for it all privately. We didn't know how we were going to manage it but the week after the first consultation a huge freelance job appeared that would cover nearly all of it. Nearly killed myself working non stop for 6 weeks but I like to see It as a positive sign from the universe

I wish you all the luck in the world with this crazy journey!!

[EJ_1990 in reply to MissSaoPaulo]

I completly agree I have so many thoughts running through my head about it all, guilt, jealously, and even anger! I think I need to get my head around the idea now that it just more than likely is not going to happen naturally! I am feeling abit down today about the whole situation but trying to stay positive especially for hubby who I know is thinking it’s his fault as the main issue is low sperm motility and morphology.

Well done for finding the money for funding privately I bet it was tough! Hopefully it all works out for you and it’ll definatley be worth all that hard work in the end! Best of luck!

[Masha111]

Hi EJ_1990

Welcome to our online community 🤗. I know how you feel. We were exactly the same... but this referral is an option to help achieve your dreams. It can only be a good thing right? True its nerve wrecking but your clinic will be with you every step of the way as will everyone here.

The process was totally new to us and it felt strange. Luckily you found this site at the beginning of your journey.... 👍😉

So you will receive support from others in your situation and from those who have been there. I wish i knew about this site early on for support, understanding and any other questions i had. I only found out about it through seeing a poster in the fertility clinic after i had received the treatment...but its all good.

Its normal to feel different emotions... be brave and positive, communicate with each other and you will get through this together. There is support out there for you both. Its ok to feel 😊☹😟😭.

I too had one funded cycle on the nhs. We are very blessed and fortunate for it to work. Of course it is a worry as to whether it will work or not... but hope belief and blind faith in the almighty go a long way.

I wish you all the best in your journey and pray it works for you. In the event it doesnt, there are other options/solutions but you can cross that bridge if and when you come to it. There is always a way. Xxx

[Cooking-Queen20]

Welcome to the community and best of luck. As others I came here later in my journey.

Two things I remind myself daily in this journey, as emotions evolve....

1- an embryologist told me that through ivf,at times, we are trying to explain the inexplainable. There may not be clear answers.

Just remember everyone is trying their best for you, is on your side, but in some circumstances science does not have all the answers.

2 - if IVF is successful,then its a positive, if nothing has changed then that is also ok, but I won’t have lost anything by trying.

Best of luck!

[EJ_1990]

I am overwhelmed by everyone’s lovely messages it’s really made me feel so happy on this gloomy morning ! I was having abit of a down day yesterday but woke up this morning feeling more positive. Thank you all so much it’s so nice to speak to people who ‘just get it’ x

[Dunla]

Hello there. I think by the time we got as far as the fertility clinic it was a relief to finally be doing something that felt positive and proactive to help us conceive.

Like you we had just the one NHS funded cycle and have self funded the others.

Wishing you the very best of luck as you get started xx

[EJ_1990 in reply to Dunla]

Thank you dunla wishing you the best of luck too ! X

[EJ_1990 in reply to EJ_1990]

Out of interest on your self funded ivf did you stick with the same clinic you had for the nhs funding? And was there a big gap inbetween or did it run quite smoothly? X

[Ruby26]

Hey, I got referred for NHS IVF in September and am mid way through now. Like you, I only get one round. I couldn't believe i have got to this stage either but I am hopefully it will work. If you have any questions, I would be happy to help. I set up a private Instagram account as many others have and there is a lot of support there as well including meet ups so may be worth thinking about xx

[EJ_1990 in reply to Ruby26]

Hey thanks for replying how are you finding it ? Are you doing standard ivf or icsi ? X

[Ruby26 in reply to EJ_1990]

The injections are easier than I thought but I didn't realise I would feel so uncomfortable. My egg collection is tomorrow so I am nervous to see how that goes. We are having ICSI. I am not sure why as my husbands sperm was fine but I won't complain because it can only help get good embryos x

[EJ_1990 in reply to Ruby26]

Goodluck for the egg collection !! I have everything crossed for you! We are also having icsi but my husband has low motility and morphology is also bad, so I think for us icsi is the only option. How has it made you feel uncomfortable I have heard some women do have negative reactions to the medication. X

[Ruby26 in reply to EJ_1990]

Thank you! I found my morning injection stung but otherwise nothing obvious. But I’ve found it uncomfortable when I sit down, there feels more pressure and I’m a bit bloated. Plus some back ache which isn’t normal for me x

[EJ_1990 in reply to Ruby26]

How did egg collection go ruby ? Hope all is well xx

[Ruby26 in reply to EJ_1990]

Sorry for the delayed reply. Egg collection was fine although still recovering 4 days later. X

[EJ_1990 in reply to Ruby26]

Glad to hear it went ok. Goodluck for the rest of the process xx

[HollyT7]

Hi ladies. I hope you are also doing well. I was just wanted to know if the one round is just one shot or if they use any remaining eggs that have fertilised as part of that one chance? Best of luck to you all xx

[EJ_1990 in reply to HollyT7]

Hi I think it depends on the funding in your area I think mine is one fresh and one frozen so I am assuming if there are any left over eggs from the first round they can freeze it for one more try but I could be wrong about this! X

[HollyT7 in reply to EJ_1990]

Well I hope that it all works out for you first time and that you don't need to worry yourself with anything more that! Xx

[EJ_1990 in reply to HollyT7]

Thanks so much

[Hidden]

Hi there, sorry to hear about your troubles. but congratulations on your referral. I feel as though thats a milestone in itself. I've just a completed our first round of ivf/icsi, and unfortunately we were unsuccessful. Our clinic funds 1 round on the NHS. I'm not sure about frozen transfers. We have five frozen embryos.

We have our follow up next month with the consultant, so hopefully they will be able to shed some light on the next steps.

I psyched myself so much for the treatment, that when it came to it, the actual process wasnt as bad at all. I really hope it goes well for you. Good luck x

[EJ_1990 in reply to Hidden]

Hi I’m sorry to hear your first round was not successful. It’s good to hear the process wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. I’m expecting the worst and then hopefully like yourself might be pleasantly surprised if it’s not as awful as I thought. Hopefully your clinic will do a frozen transfer as part of the nhs funding fingers crossed and the best of luck xxxxx

[Lyn84]

I have recently been referred for ivf also when i was told they were actually going to refer me i was in shock and found it a lot to take in my head was all over the place for a few weeks until it sank in properly. Good luck with everything x

[EJ_1990]

Thank you xxx

[Jonesjp]

Hi hunny I felt the same when I was first referred, people expect you to be happy as they think it’s the answer to all our prayers, but they don’t always realise for us it feels like the last resort! My only advise would be the same that I was given when I first joined this site and that was to take one day at a time, you will have good days and bad days but always remember that this group of ladies is always here to help and provide support x x x

[EJ_1990 in reply to Jonesjp]

Hiya thanks for your message that’s exactly how I feel! The people who I have told when I’ve told them we have now been referred they are like that’s brilliant things are moving , and in my head all I can think is how is it brilliant ?? brilliant would be conceiving naturally and not having any of this worry! But I know everyone just tries to find something positive to say. Thank you for understanding x