TTC 2+years, 7endo ops in 5 years, just referred for IVF. HELP

[RiaLac]

Good Afternoon ladies,

I hope everyone is well? My post title I guess explains my background a bit I'm 31 years old, married, and its been a hard path so far. I'm finding I am struggling more now that we have finally been referred for IVF than I did before. All my friends pregnancy announcements, insensitive comments and lack of empathy are grating more and more. I know I need a positive mind set before starting the IVF but I feel really down and like all the positive energy I have has been used on fighting endo for years, let alone about to start the IVF battle, has been used up. What are peoples coping mechanisms? Advice welcome on how to keep up beat and positive please!

Thank you xxx

[Hidden]

Oh wow, you have been through so much already. No wonder you are nervous and feel like you have run out of positivity. It's really hard and we all have war wounds. Some of the positivity and strength we have is through this very forum, other things to do are mindfulness, positive affirmations oh, and chocolate x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Good luck x

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

Personally I found it helpful to tell people what I was going through. It stopped the insensitive comments generally, though I did have to ask people not to ask how it was going unless I brought it up myself.

But I am quite an open person and this doesn’t appeal to everyone I know.

[Dunla]

I’m sorry that you’ve had so much to deal with and totally understand that you feel like you’ve nothing left to give to tackle IVF. When I felt low or overwhelmed by it all I think the way I tried to cope was by trying to take as much control of the situation as possible. So I focussed on looking after my body in terms of what I was eating and drinking and trying to lead as healthy a lifestyle as possible. When everything else felt out of my hands, that was something for me to channel some positive energy into! I also downloaded some IVF positive visualisations from ITunes and some books about IVF from Amazon which also felt like I was doing something helpful and positive. I went for acupuncture for one cycle which I found helpful. I only wish I had found this forum in the early days as I really think it would have helped me a lot. Hoping that the support of others in this place will help give you some of the strength and encouragement you need to get you through this. Sending you love xxx

[MofM]

I personally I discovered soon that I could not cope by myself, therefore I went through IAPT, where I met a trainee consultant which had no idea on how babies were made (really). They referred me to an external program run by volunteers which is a kind of behavioural therapy that is not the best if you are not resilient yourself but it still could be better than nothing (or at least I got some useful bits from it, and discussing with my listener makes me also feel better). I also started to use a Meditation App (called Headspace) which is at least helping me to relax.

I also started to read a lot about IVF (knowledge is power, even though now is a bit backfiring, since I have more worries that I would have if I did not read so much!), including a book called "Unsung Lullabies: Understanding and Coping with Infertility", which helped me a bit to cope.

Last but not least the people here gave me great support and hope.

Sending love xxx