Hello all, so my SO and I have been trying for around 7 years to conceive naturally. She has PCOS and has had no luck with Metformin/Clomid treatments. She was told she had to lose weight to reach a max BMI of 30. She was there or there abouts according to our scales (maybe a few pounds left to lose). Anyway we got to our appointment and the consultant’s nurse must have read the scales wrong as she said the BMI was 27.7!! Now that is around a stone and a half different to ours and others scales that we have used..
anyway based on the nurses info, our consultant has referred us to a fertility clinic for IVF. My SO is now freaking out about losing the weight she needs to before the clinic. I am trying to be the optimist here but she is not having ANY of it! (It’s been a slow process for her dropping the weight) Just some advice on how to convince her the referral isn’t a waste of time would be wonderful!
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it’s honestly not a waste of time. As long as she keeps it below 30 it will be fine. I was told I had to get mine down to 30 to be referred and after referral I was weighed once to check I was still below 30 but by this point I’d gone up a bit 🤦♀️ xxx
I think this is what she is concerned about! I think she would rather have still been over 30 and got some more advice in the weight loss sense, but I guess we have 2-3 months of waiting before we get to the clinic in order to get that weight off! Thank you for your reply though! It is all so reassuring to see other people who have been in the same boat!
it was honestly the Bain of my life. She’s done so well to lose the weight. Keep going and keep healthy. It may take a good few months to move on to the next steps so there is plenty time to get those last few pounds off and keep them off. A slimming class helped me just to keep maintained getting weighed every week. She can do it xxx
So much pressure for her! I obviously don't know you guys or your lives and this may not always be possible as life can just get so busy! But perhaps you guys could have a think together about things that she really enjoys for relaxation and self care that might also help with weight loss. Rather than focussing on the numbers?
Gentle walks somewhere nice? Nice types of food she enjoys that are also healthy? Swimming? Dancing? Things that will help with her relaxation and stress relief during this waiting.
This whole process can get so focussed on the numbers and percentages, which absolutely have their place, but you definitely need to balance it with some self care/joy.
Wishing you all the best! She's done so well already. I'm sure she will manage it.
Also....for reassurance....I'm sure the first consultant will check again and advise. If they are a good one this will be done in a supportive, no nonsense way!
It’s usually a decent bit of time from referral to first face to face appointment - In Scotland around 6 months. Use that time wisely and see how much she manages to lose… it might just work out! 👍 Good luck x
I fee your partner's pain... have always struggled to meet the "30 and under" BMI level! However when I got my referral end Nov for a January appointment it gave me the push I needed to lose the last few lbs.
What has really helped me is running - I am not a natural runner (and defo don't have a runners body) but the couch to 5k has worked really well to lose the weight in a healthy and consistent way. I also downloaded a few podcasts (BFN is a great one) to listen to en route... She'll get so caught up listening she'll forget she's running!
Good luck to you both - it's best to be in the system with a deadline to work towards rather than still so far away with no end in sight x
I had to loose weight before doing IVF and used to go swimming every morning Mondays to Fridays and just 3 healthy meals a day has she tried swimming x
hi I was in the same position few months back as my bmi was over 30, an I was constantly worried I’d be knocked back as the weight just wouldn’t budge. I spoke to my GP who referred me for a free 12 wks at slimming world a she also provided me with Orlistat, which seemed to help me, I’m just starting my treatment. So I’d advise you to have a chat with your GP as they will have ways they can help. Hope everything works out an try not to worry x
Hi, I went through the same experience myself. The referral is definately not a waste of time. So here is my experience, I was at the right weight but had to stop smoking to quality. I did that, my weight shot up during lockdown and I was obese, then my appointment for ART (ie the first appointment came). I kept cancelling, explaining my weight was too high and was majorly freaking out. My weight was dropping, but very slowly, sometimes only a few ounces a week. Anyway, eventually the hospital says if you cancel this one you won't get another, because of my age, I also wouldn't be put back on the list. So I kept the appointment, telling myself that if some damm nurse was gonna refuse me the right to be a mother because I ate one too many prawn crackers she can damm well do it to my face. What happened, I went, I was still over, but not by much, and she allowed me to go forward - saying she was sure I would lose it by the next time.
I did lose the weight, but not in a healthy way. I bought a weight loss injection drug which did help me lose the weight but the side effects were nasty, you get the picture. Not only that but I had to finish taking a month before treatment in case it causes any issues with the featus since there has been no studies on that and of course I put on mor weight along the way.
So here is my advice, previous replies are correct, as long as you have a BMI below 30 you will be fine for NHS. I would say running rather than swimming is better for weight loss. The only reason I say that is I did swimming, but found it made me ravenous so ate more (might be better for you but still more calories). I am currently over the BMI target of 30 and am running, and yes, I do look like an idiot but I don't care.
I am about to start my second treatment cycle, and found that during my first that as soon as I was told you won't be weighed anymore, I went back to eating all the foods I loved, which did put the lbs on. I didn't take the time to consider why I needed to lose weight, I just saw it as a goal to qualifying, Please t3ell her not to do that, there are legitimate reasons for them asking you to lose weight. I wish I knew that before.
Since then, I read a book, which was recommended on a fertility website, and I suggest it to you as I found it very useful, It is called 'It starts with an egg', 2nd edition, and its by Rebecca Fett. You can buy it on amazon.
I found it useful as it explained what I should be eating 'the fertility diet'; what supplements I should be taking (only thing my clinic mentioned to me was folic acid - turns out I should be on loads more); what causes certain types of infertility - that sort of thing. Quite a few of the research pieces also address PCOS and how to maximise your chances of success on your fertility journey. I found it useful to understand why I needed to eat a certain way, because even though I want a child more than anything, my willpower still slips sometimes.
Read it more than once, a few weeks apart, first time I read it I freaked out. Second, time I read it, my mind was more open.
It even has a section on improving sperm, by eating a few different foods and taking some additional supplements.
My last bit of advice relates to her stress levels, as you mentioned your SO was freaking out. I was the same, and stress won't help your journey. I have recently started fertility yoga with the Fertility Network (it is free online) and will be trying out meditation and possibly acupuncture as well. These were all recommended by my fertility counsellor - which again, I did not consult during my first treatment but have this time. So my advice is, try all of this stuff out, could even do it as a couple. Most will have a youtube channel to try out free at home to try and alleiviate your SO stress levels. You can do that too, maybe there are things that need done at home and they keep getting put off, why not do them and alleviate another stress for her. Be supportive in a practical way, so she can have more time to herself.
I wish you both the best of luck and hope some of this helps. x
thank you so much for this! I know it’s not a waste of time and ever the optimist keep trying to boost her in the ways I know how! I will definitely check out the book and YouTube channels suggested thank you!!
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Just been referred for ivf 
Guilt of only having 1 child (Born via ICSI) So grateful but sad for my child. 
Weight and IVF does it make a difference??
Eligible for NHS IVF
