Terrified 😓😓

[Niki_B]

Im too terrified to test. In 12 hours I will be 8dp5dt. I am completely terrified. I have had 2 tests in the cupboard and I thought I would be battling with myself not to use them..and then end up buying 10 more! My blood test is 9dp5dt, I don't even want to get my blood drawn I actually don't want to know.. I'm absolutely terrified. I don't want to spiral in that dark hole again, and lye in bed for days on end crying....feeling hopeless and broken and my heart bleeding. I don't want to 😭😭 xxx

[Hidden]

I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better.

It is so tough this journey. 😢

I was also terrified of testing in case it was a negative. ( Hubby was very convinced it would be BFP me less so) I can so relate to what you are saying. A certain amount of self preservation kicks in.

You can do this & don’t forget you have got some embryos on ice ( you do in the worst case scenario have your back up plan-I know that isn’t what you want)

I keep saying it but I honestly had no symptoms & got a positive test! Pms vs early pregnancy symptoms are identical and difficult to tell apart! Symptoms don’t kick in until after positive test. Even now mine come & go ( I’m 6+ 3) it’s still very nerve wrecking!!! I don’t think the nerves ever leave...

I have everything crossed that it’s good news on OTD & think you’ve been very brave not to test early!

Will be looking for your update & hope it’s good news 🤞🏻❤️✨🎉 xoxo

[genten]

Bless you, I feel for you. The feelings you're having are understandable.

I am hoping this is your time and like Jess said I hope you have good news tomorrow.

xxx

[Masha111]

Hi Nikib i agree with Jess. It cant be easy but dont give up hope or faith. Be strong you can do this, look at how far you have come in the process. It is such a nerve wrecking time i know, but know how many people are rooting and praying for you. All will be well you'll see (god willing) xx wishing you good news xx

[Cinderella5]

I totally get where you're coming from. Its not nice being in limbo of not knowing but at the same time better than bad news right?! Its just a super hard time and after we've already suffered from crappy news it makes it harder. You can do this, everything crossed for good news!xx

[Kari55]

I was thinking of you today and wondered how you were getting on. It is terrifying the closer to the date we get. I will be the same soon. But whatever happened happened and and it’s there or not there. You will find the strength to face tomorrow and hopefully it’s good news. I will be looking forward to your update. Best of luck 🤞🤞🤞xxx

[Sweets1]

I’m crossing everything for you. I can’t imagine how difficult it is as not been there yet. But hoping it’s good news xxx

[Niki_B]

Thanks ladies. Just feeling down and defeated today 😔 I am going to sleep soon (its 11pm in new zealand) been so tired lately. Hopefully i wake up tomorrow feeling better who knows might even cave and test. My beta is not tomorrow but next morning....will see how I go but at this stage too terrified. I definately will test Friday morning latest as I want to be prepared when the nurse calls me with my blood results. Thank you all for you positive kind words it means alot xxxxxxx

[Lou7744]

Aww... I have everything crossed for you 🤞 sending you lots of positive thoughts and big hugs 💕 xx

[Lamorna80]

I’m out 😢

Had some spotting yesterday despite them giving me injectable progesterone as well as the pessaries. My test day is tomorrow but this is how all my bfns have started so I tested this morning. A definite Big Fat Negative 👎

2 hatching blastocysts and heaps of positive thinking, I honestly dared to believe that this was our time. I don’t understand what more I can do and can’t help believing that this will never happen for us.

I’m just left feeling bloated, fat, bruised and so sad.

To top it all off, my first patient of the morning marched in and said, “whatever you do, don’t have kids!”. I wanted the ground to swallow me up as I stopped my lower lip from wobbling. I’m used to this sort of thing now but he couldn’t have picked a worse time & typical me just laughed it off with a “no chance of that” comment 🤦‍♀️

Wishing you all the luck in the world, it just sucks that any of us are having to deal with all of this ❤️ xxxxxxxx

[Niki_B in reply to Lamorna80]

I'm out too hun. Just tested definate BFN. just devastated 😭😭 xxx

[Lamorna80 in reply to Niki_B]

It’s just shit isn’t it. Throwing money at something that no-one knows will work. I know they’ll have no answers as everything appeared to go like clockwork this time.

I’m heading home now and stopping off for a big tub of ice cream. Nothing like AF to remind you of being such a failure! Allowing myself to wallow for the rest of the week before braving the gym to make myself feel vaguely attractive again.

Nothing anyone can say will make you feel better but hope you bounce back (like we always seem to do) and make plans, whatever that may be m. Look after yourself xxxx

[londonrc in reply to Niki_B]

I’m so so sorry Niki, sending you love and hugs and lots of wine. Xx

[Hidden]

Oh bless you. Its so difficult and I don't have the right words to support but know that we are all here for you. xxx