Too old at 42

[Hopefulforonce]

Update on my journey. Had my final scan with the consultant yesterday to determine when to do egg retrieval. Still the 4 follicles but he said only 2 maybe 3 would be viable and with my partners sperm count being so low I'd only have 5% chance of getting pregnant so there was no point continuing in his opinion.He also said no point in doing another cycle as it would be the same outcome. Kept calling me old and that my eggs weren't good enough. He told me the only chance of getting pregnant would be egg donor and use my partners sperm as my womb lining is good and the chances of getting pregnant that way are 50%.

Feeling so down and defeated and now like I'm an old woman who shouldn't be doing this. I was 38 when I started trying and now I am 42. Am I too old? I definitely didn't think so at 38.

Just in shock at the moment.

[Loveelou]

Hello there

Sorry you are going through this.

I will be the first to verify that Drs can be quite blunt.

In order to answer your question need to know about your previous IVF/IUI cycles? There still are many stories of success for women up to 45 but it is very individualised.

[Hopefulforonce in reply to Loveelou]

Hi, I have a son already, when I was young. No issues so I knew I could carry. My amh is low now 4.89 and obviously my age is a factor. I have regular periods which I ovulate every month. My consulting scan before starting was good.

First cycle was long protocol, I didn't respond well to that at all. One follicle and did not grow large enough. Second cycle now was short protocol and 4 follicles in my left ovary. None in my right again and they just can't find my right at all.

My partners sperm count is 0.3 so can't conceive naturally.

[CyclingAddict]

I'm sorry your doctor has made you feel this way, they sound pretty insensitive. I started IVF when I was 30 and my husband was 42 (due to his poor sperm count). We finally had our baby when I was 33 and he was 45. Nobody ever mentioned his age, although he started in his early 40s. And he's a lot more active and healthier than most 30 year olds I know. So I've never thought of him as 'old'.

What I don't understand is why they would suggest egg donor and not a sperm donor? I don't have any fertility issues and have a high ovarian reserve (19 mature eggs collected during my last cycle) and even then it took us 3 years using my husband's sperm. Sounds a little sexist that their focus is on you if your husband has a low sperm count. X

[Hopefulforonce in reply to CyclingAddict]

Hi thanks for your reply,Yes you're right no mention of my partners age and he is also 40 so not a spring chicken. Probably if I was your age there would be no mention of age at all even with his low sperm count. The focus was entirely on me and my age and my eggs. I have taken all the vitamins and supplements to try and make sure my egg quality was good. At this stage my eggs haven't even been tested to see if the quality is good it just seems to be presumed they are bad given my age.

I am not opposed to using a donor egg I suppose but I had never even thought about it as like I said I am still regular and ovulating. Them saying my womb is very good for carrying I'm not sure how to feel about that either. My son will be 19 soon and I always wanted a sibling for him. I brought him up on my own with no Dad involved so I wanted to do it with having a partner and have that different feeling of not doing it alone.

My partner has no biological children of his own, he has a boy he considers his son as he brought him up. He is 16 and we have him every second week and more over holidays.

I don't know how to feel, I'm very upset and obviously hormonal with all the medication I am on. It's such a rollercoaster of disappointment.

[Endofitall]

I am sorry you’re being treated this way. I genuinely think from what you’ve said before now that the clinic are doing no favours to you with their protocols (long protocol with lower AMH, starting antagonist way too soon in a short protocol). I would get a second opinion before you move away from using OE. Sending hugs xx