Most awful week ever! : Hi guys... - Fertility Network UK

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Most awful week ever!

KirstyC90 profile image
31 Replies

Hi guys,

Sorry to moan and this isn’t all about fertility either so feel free to not read on.

So I have now definitely had an early miscarriage. Had a terrible and heavy bleeding night last night. Then heard from my grandma and found out she has got breast cancer which will be hard for them to treat as she’s 80 with other health conditions. Then found out my sisters puppy had to be put down today! They only had her for a week and four days!! Absolutely hideous!

And to make it even worse hubby and I have had a massive row and he’s really upset now. Just need to have some better days 😢💔 xx

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KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90
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31 Replies

Aww bless you what a horrible week. Big hugs x

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply to

Thank you xx

genten profile image
genten

Aww gosh what an awful, I really feel for you with all you've got going on.

So sorry for your early miscarriage, I can only imagine how you feel.

And poor grandma, I hope she is treated in the best way possible.

Add to all of this the puppy and the argument I'd say you're definitely within your right for a moan!!

If you can, I think you need to make some time for yourself. Xx

rachherlihy profile image
rachherlihy

Oh no! What a horrible week! I’m so sorry that you are going through all of this. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you right now.

I hope that things over the next week get a little easier and you have chance to properly grieve your loss. I really hope that your gran gets the care she needs and is looked after well.

Lots of hugs xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv

Sending you massive massive hugs hun. So sorry. It never rains it bloody pours. In had the week from hell too hun. Sending you lots of love. Take as much time as you need to treat yourself and grieve. 😘😘💝💝

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply toAllWeNeedIsluv

Thank you, it really does pour doesn’t it?! I hope you’re okay too! 💕 xxx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply toKirstyC90

It sure does. I'm ok hun thanks 😘💝

What an awful time. Sending you huge hugs. Hope things change soon xx

WaywardGirl profile image
WaywardGirl

Oh gosh, what a horrible time you’ve had. Please look after yourself and your relationship as a priority - it will be easier to get through everything else if you have support at home.

I speak from experience as I had a similar time in May when I had an early miscarriage, my partner’s parents’ dog was killed and a friend passed away in the space of 2 days.

You will get through this xx

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply toWaywardGirl

That sounds awful! Why does everything have to happen at once! Thanks for your reply 💕 xxx

WaywardGirl profile image
WaywardGirl in reply toKirstyC90

These things are sent to test us... I have made some positive improvements to my life following the death of my friend. I just wish it hadn’t taken losing him to get me off my backside...

*hugs*

What a horrible week.

Re:miscarriage, I found the best thing for me was to tell people - I know it’s a bit of a taboo subject but being open with those around me helped me to process. However, with your grandma so poorly, this might not be easy on your family, so just want to make you aware of the miscarriage association and Tommy’s, if you’re not aware already. Great websites and the MA have a phone line too I believe.

Look after yourself xxx

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply toLizzielizzielizzie

Thank you 💕 xxxx

It's the same with me it's always the same that everything goes wrong at the same time!

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply to

It does doesn’t it?! Don’t know why we can’t just have one thing at a time xxx

7AVA profile image
7AVA

I’m so sorry to hear about all of this Kirsty. What an awful week for you and no surprise you’ve rowed with your husband. After my miscarriage, I had huge rows with my boyfriend, I think we were both finding it hard to process in different ways. With the news of your grandma as well, this is a very tough time for you and I would recommend getting some support as soon as possible. I left it 6 months before I got counselling after my miscarriage, I would try to get support sooner if you can. Sending hope for happier times ahead. Xxx

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply to7AVA

Thank you. My clinic has offered me counselling and actually I think I will as I’m finding it really hard this time. We’ve made up now but I feel awful I hate to see him upset as he’s such a lovely husband he never means to upset me. I think we need a break together. We were booked to go to Spain in the summer but we couldn’t as we had IVF appointments so he has used all his holiday up now. I work in a school so I get holidays off xxx

7AVA profile image
7AVA in reply toKirstyC90

Good news that your clinic has offered you counselling, your husband may even want to go to (although I know most men don’t like the idea). Glad to hear you’ve made up and are considering a holiday, that will do you the world of good. Take care of yourself and each other xxxx

Yes you have had a shitty week I think u have the right to moan. I can understand why u and your partner ended up in a row he’s probs upset too and remember we tell men in our society that it’s not ok to be upset so he is doing the only thing he knows how - lashing out. I don’t know either of you so prehaps once you have both calmed down you could have a chat and work out what you’ll both do next time. 😕

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply tosam_chris_fertility

Yeah we went for a walk with the dogs last night and have calmed down. I’m going to get counselling for both of us at the clinic because he’s very good at hiding his feelings and that worries me a bit. He’s so ready to be a dad and he’ll be fantastic I just wish it would happen for us 😔

sam_chris_fertility profile image
sam_chris_fertility in reply toKirstyC90

I’m so glad. I think sometimes in harder on men. We have to go through all the pain and meds etc and their job is to sit back and watch. My husband really struggles with that. Plus I’m emotional so cry all the time which prevents him from doing it because he feels like he has to be strong for me. 😞 that sounds like a good idea I’m looking into counselling too. This journey is so shit. We do anything to fall pregnant 🤰

Chatty-chick profile image
Chatty-chick

Ahh hun I'm sorry- what an awful week! Stay positive. Seems everything in life likes to come at once to challenge us.

You've got this xxxx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook

Oh my god that’s a horrendous week, I’m so sorry, sometimes life can be bloody cruel 😞 that’s really good they’ve offered you counselling, I would have well and truly lost the plot by now! We’ve had something similar where we miscarried recently after round 6🤦🏼‍♀️ then my father in law (also 80)! Was diagnosed with lung cancer, life can be shit (understatement). I’m glad you and hubby have made up, perhaps try and do something nice together today, go out for lunch or something xxxx

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply toAleelilook

I’m sorry you’ve had a shit time too. You’re right it just all comes at once it’s like we get three things so we can distract ourselves from one with the other or something. I have lost the plot a bit I feel so awful after the row we had hopefully we’ll be ok after all this blows over. Got to find out our next steps now xx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook in reply toKirstyC90

I’m sure you will, remember your hormones must be all over the place which literally makes everything worse🤦🏼‍♀️ always here for a moan if you need it! What are you thinking next steps wise? Xx

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply toAleelilook

Thank you! I’m thinking I’ll phone the clinic and maybe get a counselling appointment for my husband and me. Then hopefully start talking about frozen transfer. I have no idea how frozen transfers work. I don’t know if I have to have medication or anything xx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook in reply toKirstyC90

Frozen transfers are so much easier, just some pills for around 3 weeks, then cyclogest leading up to transfer and then they pop it in! I found I went a bit potty on the progynova but there’s no injections, unless like me you need extra progesterone, but that comes later xx

KirstyC90 profile image
KirstyC90 in reply toAleelilook

That sounds much better! I’m hoping that they did freeze our embryos as they said they would but said they’d phone to let us know and never did! I’ll find out soon enough! What do the pills do? I’ll be glad of no injections! Xx

Aleelilook profile image
Aleelilook in reply toKirstyC90

I’d give them a buzz and ask, or drop them an email so you can plan. The drugs stop you ovulating and build up the womb lining, they’ll scan you on the second day of your period, and one 10 days later, I generally have 3 scans and then transfer. You’ll continue on the progynova and cyclogest up until (fingers crossed) your 7 week scan. That’s the way my clinic does it, some clinics vary in the drugs, but they’re all pretty straightforward in comparison to growing the follicles! Xx

Autumnmoon profile image
Autumnmoon

Why on earth do all these awful things happen in one whallup! I'm so sorry about your miscarriage and all the other sadness for you right now hope you hubby have made up as you need each other sending my love to you both and hopes for future happiness x

Kari55 profile image
Kari55

So sorry to hear that! You’ve had a lot on this week but things will settle and become easier with time. Sending hugs xxx

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