BFN ❄️πŸ₯šπŸ˜’: Not good news today from... - Fertility Network UK

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BFN ❄️πŸ₯šπŸ˜’

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_
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Not good news today from the clinic our little embie didnt make it we’re both devastated .... thankyou to those that have messaged me and have chatted to me all the way through my journey and kept me sain on my wait to find out... this journey can be so so cruel and mentally i dont think i can put myself through this again anytime soon .. i started my fet feeling excited and raring to go alot different to how i started my fresh cycle .. i felt more positive and had more hopes and ive ended feeling the same as i did the first time if not worse πŸ˜ͺ ive asked the clinic if its ok to have a break for a wile and arranged to speak to the consultant in a few months time .. what a cruel world we live in at times πŸ˜ͺ.... all my medication is to be stopped and i wait for my bleed then time to heal for me and my fiancΓ© and focus on us instead of this .. mentally this is one of the hardest things ive ever had to deal with but i wont let it break me ..

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Rachael_
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75 Replies
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Melissa11 profile image
Melissa11

Hi, really sorry it hasn’t worked out for you, it really is a cruel world. But remember you are not alone. If you want to talk you can message me anytime. We just had a BFN on Saturday 2nd time FET. Know how your feeling. 😘 xx big hugs your way!!

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toMelissa11

Thankyou melissa πŸ’– sorry to hear you had bfn to is so cruel isnt it its pretty hard to concentrate on anything other than this at the minute its so so hard hope your ok Xx

staceymac83 profile image
staceymac83

Aww Rachael so sorry to hear this. This journey is so cruel πŸ’” xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply tostaceymac83

😭😭😭😭 were gutted x

Hi Rachael, i’m so terribly sorry 😒 I’ve been dealing with bfns and miscarriages since 2015 but had success on my 7th transfer in March. It feels like the end of the world! Shattered dreams but I promise it will get easier and you will get stronger from this as i found. Take time to grieve, connect with each other, have fun experiences and when you’re ready try again. You will get there, it’s a numbers game and statistically the average is 5 rounds before success. It took me 6 cycles but not counting my chickens even at 19 weeks. Thinking of you and sending lots of love xxx

β€’ in reply to

What an inspiration you are... xx

β€’ in reply to

Ours was a particularly difficult case so they said but I know you’ll get there much sooner! Keep the faith alive πŸ™πŸΌ I don’t know one couple within my family and friends who havent got there when they’ve really tried and gone for it 😘xxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

Thankyou for your lovely words it is so so hard but we have one another thats all that matters ... im so sorry that you have had to put yourself through this over and over again im happy that you got your little miracle and im sure you will be ok i have everything crossed for you and baby will be in your arms before you know it .. we have 2 more frozen and another fresh cycle so we are blessed to have the chance i just need to stop blaming myself you know, i tried my hardest eating healthy little and often drinking clean taking vitamins looking after myself resting making sure im happy and laughing keeping my mind occupied... i really tried and it didnt work its so hard isnt it I will get there one day ..... πŸ’– Xx

β€’ in reply toRachael_

I know!! It kills when you’ve done literally everything to make it work but all this prep is not a waste! Your body is strong and fit and healthy and you have the biggest blessing...each other. You’re in a fantastic position to go ahead when you’re ready and you know your embryos are there. I had one round where we had zero to transfer and I can’t describe the feeling of going through so much for not even a chance. Keep that positive spirit alive and I can’t wait for future updates πŸ˜˜πŸ™πŸΌπŸ€žπŸΌXxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

Thankyou natalia you give me hope πŸ’– Xx

β€’ in reply to

You give me hope too! :) xx

β€’ in reply to

πŸ˜˜πŸ™πŸΌxxx

Leo2017 profile image
Leo2017

So sorry to read this!! This really is the cruelest of journeys!! Take some time out and look after yourselves!! 😒xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toLeo2017

Thankyou πŸ’–πŸ˜ͺ Xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Oh Rachael, Im so sorry! Its so tough getting BFN's. Sending huge hugs your way!xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toCinderella5

It really is heartbreaking πŸ’”... and thankyou so so much Xx

kumkums profile image
kumkums

Oh Rachel, I am so sorry, i recently checked your post to see if today was actually your test day. Really I do not have the right words to use because I have been in your shoe before, but I am really really sorry for this outcome. I pray and wish you a bfp and healthy pregnancy for your next round.

Did they tell you the exact hcg value, I like to have hope most of the times.

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply tokumkums

Thankyou for your kind words they said that it needs to be around 100 and if its anyless like slightly they would ask me to go back for a repeat test .. they assured me on the phone there was no trace like lastime of the hormone πŸ˜ͺ strong negative as they say ... i still have it in me to keep going keep trying as ive never wanted anything as much but mentally im done. At least we have oneanother as a couple .. hope your ok lovely πŸ’– Xx

kumkums profile image
kumkumsβ€’ in reply toRachael_

Oh so sorry for that. Please take time to get over it. Don't give up yet especially as it is something you really desire. Nothing good comes easy.

Stay blessed.

Oh Rachael I'm sorry to hear this. I know what you're going through after getting my FET BFN yesterday. It really is a tough journey but as I said, this is just one battle lost in a war we will win. Enjoy this time out to heal and come back fighting fit for the next battle. xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

Oh no im so sorry you have had to be faced with this aswell its so so cruel isnt it πŸ˜ͺ i need to get my head And my body and us back stronger than ever and yes I deffinetly will... thankyou for your lovely words and i hope your ok pop me a pm if you ever ever want to chat πŸ’– Xx

β€’ in reply toRachael_

It really is cruel but we'll get through it, also here if you need a chat lovely xx

Oh no sweetie I’m truly devastated for you. Take as much time as you need. So sorry you didn’t have better news. xoxo

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

Thankyou jess for your lovely words .. i hope your ok the world can be a cruel place at times.. ive just broken down in sainsburys everywere i looked theres a pram or a carseat or a baby and a bump then to top it off there was a lady at the self serv tills with her mum 2 trolleys with a new born baby in each obviously twins complaining about how hard work it is getting them both about ... my partner took me out of the que we left our shopping and i broke down in the car... i really do hope i can get back to myself now this is messing with my head bad.. im normally quite a strong person but jeezus πŸ˜ͺ ile get there i suppose its so hard isnt it Xx

Effie_L profile image
Effie_L

I'm very sorry to hear this Rachel... I've been there and it took a lot of courage and support from my spouse to stand on my feet again... As you wrote, don't let it break you..! Sending you all my love!

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toEffie_L

Thankyou so much ide be lost without mine and i will try my best πŸ’– Xx

I'm so sorry Rachael πŸ˜” Sending you lots of love xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

Thankyou so much jojo Xx

E_05 profile image
E_05

I’m so sorry to read this, your right this journey is so cruel xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toE_05

πŸ’– Xx

Pauleenka86 profile image
Pauleenka86

So sorry Rachel 😘 big hugs ❀❀

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toPauleenka86

πŸ’– thankyou Xx

It is such a cruel journey and sometimes almost too hard to bear, be kind to your self and good idea to take a break xxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

It is im going to give myself a few days and maby arange some kind of counciling i need to get it out of my head that its me thats the problem me thats the reason why my embies arnt sticking around at the min i cant even look at myself i used to be such a strong person but now im crumbling and only just holding it togther .. i need to make sure im strong and ready for next time no matter how long it takes and focus on us as a couple ... thankyou for your post πŸ’– i will get there ... i hope your ok Xx

β€’ in reply toRachael_

Oh hun, you mustn’t be so hard on yourself it’s not u it’s just shit bad luck!!

You’ll get there πŸ’ͺ🏻Xxxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

πŸ’– xx

I am sorry to read this. I had high hopes for this little embie. Take all the time you need to recover.

Good you have the others in the freezer when you are ready to use them.

Xxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

Thankyou for your lovely words me to i genuinely thought this is it everything went so well then boom BFN.... i will get there πŸ™πŸ»Xx

β€’ in reply toRachael_

Yes you will - I know that for sure :)

xxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

πŸ’–

TRYING2016 profile image
TRYING2016

Rachael πŸ˜”πŸ˜’ big hig xxx stay strong

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toTRYING2016

Thankyou xx

destiny121 profile image
destiny121

Hi racheal... im so upset reading this... Nothing we can say at this moment will really help but i just want to say look after yourself,chin up and enjoy yourself... and take time out for you and hubby... this journey is cruel but it is a journey and you will get there xxxπŸ’•πŸ’•

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply todestiny121

Thankyou destiny and thankyou for checking in on me on pm your so nice πŸ’– xx

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

I’m really sorry to read this. Bfns are so crushing. A break will do you both the world of good. You’ll know when you’re ready to get back on it xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toTugsgirl

Thankyou lovely i hope your ok πŸ’– Xx

Ash2016 profile image
Ash2016

I’m so sorry to hear this Rachel. I was hoping it would be your time. I know it gets harder to pick yourself each time. Take time out and hopefully your know what’s best for you next x

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toAsh2016

Thankyou ash for your lovely words πŸ’– Xx

Penders profile image
Penders

I'm so sorry hunni. Big hugs to you xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toPenders

Thankyou πŸ’– Xx

Marietay profile image
Marietay

Aw Rachael I am so so sorry to read this! Thinking about you πŸ’• xxxxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toMarietay

Thankyou marietay i hope your ok lovely πŸ’– i feel alot better than i did this morning/afternoon... its so hard this journey the 2nd attempt was alot harder than the 1st i dread to think if and when how the 3rd will pan out, they say it makes you stronger but that 2ww deffinetly makes you weaker πŸ˜₯ Xx

Marietay profile image
Marietayβ€’ in reply toRachael_

Aw I can’t even imagine how u are feeling. It sounds like having a wee break is a good idea πŸ’•. Your time will come πŸ’• xxxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toMarietay

Thankyou how are you doing x

Shil11 profile image
Shil11

So sorry...

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toShil11

Thankyou πŸ’– Xx

HollieW profile image
HollieW

I recently had a failed transfer and was completely devastated so know exactly how you feel. I've been told I can start the next transfer as soon as my period arrives but I don't feel ready yet. It's completely understandable to want to take some time out. That's what I'm doing as IVF absolutely rules and dictates your life when you are in it. So enjoy a drink and may be a holiday and some special times with your fiance. Life is about making memories and you will get through this even if it feels like the end of the world right now xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toHollieW

Thankyou hollie its so hard isnt it... when i spoke to my clinic yesterday after we got the crappy news out of the way it affected me more the fact that the nurse said on the phone .. stop your medication have your breakthrough bleed and next cycle you can go again..... i found this quite upsetting as why should i keep transferring embryos for this to keep happening , i had to ask to see the consultant to discuss things .. how did you get on with the consultant like yourself ive just read on ur post the progynova has been the worst the migranes were horrible to the point i couldnt drive myself i didnt feel safe xx

HollieW profile image
HollieWβ€’ in reply toRachael_

I met with my consultant as I wanted to discuss things but there was no explanation why the embryo didn't implant. It was a good quality blastocyst (4BA) and my lining was good. There's a 50% chance of success and you run the gauntlet every time effectively. It happens naturally too where an egg is fertilised and the embryo doesn't implant it's just you wouldn't ever know where as we do! A leading condultant says you need on average 4-5 rounds to conceive and so if you have embryos left you just have to keep going. I had 5 embryos from my 3 cycles and I now have 4 left. My husband and I have now agreed we will try with all the embryos we have and if that doesn't work then we will consider other options including adoptionas there is only so much you can throw at this financially and emotionally. I've got my first counselling session with my husband next week and I hope this helps as the most difficult part is the mental! I'm so glad to be off Progynova that wreaked havoc on me! Xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toHollieW

One of the ladies on here have said the exact same about the 4-5 rounds , you jump into this and throw all your hopes in the the basket that it will work 1st maby 2nd time ... im gratefull for your comment as i can relate and it has helped me see that its not me i to had a good lining and it was a good quality egg they have said that all my eggs have been good quality I started with 4 and now have 2 left of this round . We will do another round and like yourselves we will stop when everything has ran out . Xx

HollieW profile image
HollieWβ€’ in reply toRachael_

You will get there! I'm wishing you lots of luck xx

Drives profile image
Drives

I'm so sorry to read this. Sending you lots of love 😘

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toDrives

πŸ’–

So sorry to hear your news, it is such a tough journey x

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply to

It sure is clairenix 😘

Caza2009 profile image
Caza2009

I’m so so sorry to hear this! Take some time out for yourselves. Sending you loads of love πŸ’•β€οΈ

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toCaza2009

πŸ’–

I’m so so sorry. This journey is so cruel.

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toLizzielizzielizzie

It really is lizzie i hope your doing ok ... πŸ’– Xx

I'm so sorry Rachael we went through the exact same in Feb, time does heal. It's definately one of the hardest things we've ever been through. We took some time out and are getting ready to start again in September. Massive hugs to you both xxx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_

Thankyou claire it really is isnt it... i think im going to do the same we had a month or so gap in between the fresh and the frozen cycle and i think it was just to soon although i felt 100% ready at the time... i think im going to leave it till after Christmas and new year and enjoy being a couple again everything has been so challenging and we need a break ... wishing you lots of luck September isnt far away πŸ€žπŸ»πŸ’– Xx

Babyjoshua profile image
Babyjoshua

I am so sorry to hear that I know how you feel but giving up is worst than trying again my advice is to take some time off and heal and you guys can focus on each other for a while. I know it's going to be hard but just try to take your mind off the failure and focus on the success of trying again. Take care and I am praying for your strength in the Lord. #metime#cuddletime#. Lots of love

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply toBabyjoshua

Thankyou for your lovely kind words Xx

lorraineb61 profile image
lorraineb61

So sorry to hear that - I've never had an FET as I never ended up with embryos that were good enough to freeze. The worst cycle we had was cycle 2 when we only collected 1 egg and it failed to fertilise. We had to wait for the bleed which was the worst 2 weeks of my life without a doubt. Take the time to heal - I am now 13 weeks pregnant on our 4th cycle so it can work - just have faith xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_β€’ in reply tolorraineb61

So sorry youve had to deal with all that and im so happy to read that you got your happy ending its hard to focus isnt it ive just got to plough through and keep trying till it works 🀞🏻 thankyou for giving me hope πŸ’– Xx

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