2nd BFN 🙄

Afternoon ladies. OTD is tomorrow but I've got my lunch out with some friends planned so tested today and got another BFN. Disappointed.

I've a few decisions to make about what to do next. I've not been happy with the service at my clinic, so started to do some research through HFEA and recommendations from you lovely ladies.

I have one vial of donor sperm left. Plus I received a notification from a sperm bank about a new donor who's exactly what I'm looking for (hot and healthy) 😉 His stock is undoubtedly gonna sell out quickly. So, I'm thinking do I:

1. Use the last vial of sperm I currently have with my current clinic to do 1 more round of IUI before moving on to IVF (mild stims) with Evewell - next cycle

2. Move straight on to IVF with Evewell with the current sperm I have left - next cycle

3. Buy the new sperm just in case fertilisation isn't successful with either method next cycle and then wait to start IVF. I can't afford to buy new sperm and start IVF next cycle. These little swimmers are so expensive, plus there's all the bloody importation, tax and storage fees.

4. Take a break until about August/September and then start IVF. Costs are mounting and I've put on 20lbs since the start of lockdown, bringing me to a BMI of 32. I know private clinics aren't as fussed about this, but I'm not feeling good about myself. Exercising inconsistently through fear of jeopardising my chances of a BFP has taken it's toll. A break will give me the chance to get back on track physically, emotionally and financially.

My first consultation with Evewell isn't until 2nd June, but I've left a message with them to contact me because I'm unsure if I can have new sperm delivered to them before I've even had my initial consultation. But I'm certain I'm transferring to them.

What would you do I'm my situation? All views welcome 🙂

[Running79]

I’m assuming your current IUI’s are using the same donor who produced your last vial in storage (if that makes sense?!)

If that is the case and it were me, I would buy the new donors sample - obviously keep the other vial as a back up

If your looking to sort your finances and your fitness, like you say there’s nothing to stop you starting slightly later in the year as well

[Hidden in reply to Running79]

Yes I've used 1 donor so far. Thanks for your advice. 🤗

[Daffodils140]

Sorry about your BFN. From your list I would probably do 3 and 4, buy the sperm but give yourself a couple of months to get yourself mentally and physically prepared, it’s such a draining process and a short break will be a kindness to yourself and goodness knows we need to be kind to ourselves on this crazy journey! X

[Kyell2]

I too used donor sperm and I remember the cost of donor sperm, at £1000 a vial I only bought one as and when I needed it. Like how is it so expensive 🤷‍♀️

That’s the main reason why I only did IUI once, I thought it was a waste of money.

If I was in your position I’d move the existing vial of sperm to the new clinic, take a few months to get healthy and then do IVF with that vial. You don’t know yet that it won’t work with that vial, our IVF worked with the same donor that our IUI didn’t.

Wishing you lots of luck with your decision xx

[Running79 in reply to Kyell2]

I would think the £1000 is covering the full amount or at least a proportion of the donors blood tests, suitability, sperm analysis and potential dna fragmentation test, along with the a sample itself

Certainly a lot cheaper then a donor egg round which at my clinic is £7500 before you even add the recipients drugs and any tests they need

[Hidden in reply to Kyell2]

Thanks for your advice. Added complication is that I have a preference of using a black donor, which is sparse in the UK. So I've been importing from American sperm banks where there's a few more, but not many that consent to ID Release. I'd also considered having siblings using the same donor. So buying 3 vials at a time to account for this and the potential of unsuccessful rounds. This is why I'm eager to buy vials from Mr hot and healthy asap.

Wishing you luck too x

[LSandJ in reply to Hidden]

Looks like you've answered your own question. You are keen to buy the sperm!You can buy it from the clinic but don't give them a place to send it yet. Wait until you've spoken to the new clinic and see when you can transfer and if you are still happy to (they have to approve the clinic and sample! So only other question would be to check this new clinic accept from this bank. I found a donor I loved once but my clinic didn't accept them!!)

In the meantime get your finances and body ready. Those couple of extra bmi points do make a real difference. Then when you are ready the sperm is available for you!

Good luck, hoping it all works out well for you xx

[Capricorn41]

I tried IUI three times abroad. I had gaps in between them as each one was negative. It was absolutely frustrating and disappointing. I didn't get pregnant once. I then thought about IVF. I used a NHS hospital (Birmingham Women's) though and I was on a waiting list with NHS patients. I was overweight at the time. I had to wait longer due to my decision to use the hospital sperm bank. I wouldnt have had to wait so long if I had used a sperm from another bank. I had AMH test done. It was really low. I was basically told no chance of pregnancy through IVF. I was 38 at time of IVF. But, decided to do it anyway. I actually got pregnant first time with one top grade embryo resulting in my lovely son. I only had two embryos, the other one didn't delvop properly. So I would probably say maybe try IVF it has a better success rate than IUI. Also, while I was having a break on the waiting list. I managed to lose weight as well.

[Hidden in reply to Capricorn41]

What a lovely result

[Hidden]

Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Going to give the Evewell a call now before I make arrangements to buy this new sperm, take a break and get fit again then start IVF.

Just getting ready to have giggles and drinks with friends. It's been so long!

Baby dust to you all. 🤗🥰