Donor options? : Waiting to start my... - Fertility Network UK

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Donor options?

jengi
jengi

Waiting to start my next cycle with my own eggs in Aug but busy preparing & researching the back up plan B. My sisters have both offered to be egg donors. The consultant advised that one was too old (38), and that my other sister (35) should have her AMH done. Last night I found out her AMH is lower than mine at 0.68 pmol/L. Thank god she has two beautiful sons and completed her family. I am in awe of both of their and their husbands selflessness to support us in this journey. It truley is an amazing action of love. Inside, im gutted and relieved all at the sane time. Im sad i dont have the option to use an egg related to me, but relieved that option is no longer there - does that make any sense?. I’m sad for my sister that she had to learn that her AMH is low, despite her having a family I’m sure it is still tough news to receive. I’m relieved that my low egg reserve is most likely genetic and not a result of how I lived my life. I’d beaten myself up, did I not eat well enough? I’m vegetarian, was my body missing key nutrients? I used to smoke, has that impacted on my fertility? My sister is not vegetarian, not a smoker, is very healthy and fit and yet her AMH is low too. So there is a sense of relief. I still woke up crying this morning, I suspect grieving the lost of this backup plan. I’ll pull myself together and move into option C now 😀 I should feel lucky that I have an option C. Xx

13 Replies
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Good luck with option c x

Ahhh sorry to hear that one of your back up plans has disappeared but I do understand when you say that at least you know either way. Its sad to hear that your sister cant help and yes you're right the offer was so supportive and amazing..... but at least you know what you are dealing with. From what Ive read these things tend to run in the family so Im sure that its nothing that you have done, please dont blame yourself and you pretty much have confirmation now! I think everytime we hit a blow we need time to get our heads around things so Im sure once this has fully sunk in you'll be able to move onto option C if necessary!xx

jengi
jengi
in reply to Cinderella5

Thanks Cinderella, wishing you all the best on your journey too Xx

Cinderella5
Cinderella5
in reply to jengi

Thank you!😊xx

Hi Jengi. Don’t be dismayed my lovely. You still have several options in reality. If your eggs don’t work, you can try an anonymous donor. Then depending how many eggs are collected you will have several attempts at that with remaining Frosties. Then there’s surrogacy, which never was for me, but the options there. Then there’s adoption which is 100 % guaranteed child at the end, so.....at the end of the day sweetheart, you ARE going to be a mummy it’s just a matter of time.....good luck 💕❤️💕

jengi
jengi
in reply to Jmaw

Thank you lovely, yes lots of options! Xx

Isn't it crazy how different pieces of news along the journey make us grieve or let go or be relieved? I guess it's progressive to move towards where we need to be. For ages I was beating myself up for having very low reserves - I was vegetarian too, I had a very physical job requiring me to really push my body for over a decade, etc but the most recent fertility specialist I saw said he doesn't think any of those choices really make a difference to our fertility. It was kind of a relief to hear. I'm also trying to hold on to the idea that if Ivf doesn't work, there are other wonderful options, that might really work for me! Thanks for your post and much love x

jengi
jengi
in reply to magda22

Thank you my lovely Xx

I am almost 13 weeks pregnant using anonymous donor egg in Greece. I had 3 cycles using my own eggs and could never keep the pregnancy. We also have 6 more frozen embryos should we wish to go again. All being well with this pregnancy that gives us the chance to give our child a genetic sibling. Here’s hoping you don’t need this route hon if Aug cycle is a success 🤞🏼💕 but the door is well and truly still open for you to have a baby/child it just may be going down another corridor. Lots of luck xx

jengi
jengi
in reply to WeeMrsH

Congratulations & thanks for commenting. I love hearing success stories Xx

WeeMrsH
WeeMrsH
in reply to jengi

Good luck with this cycle x

Hi Jengi, I am also going to be doing last cycle with own eggs in August and then moving onto donor eggs if that is unsuccessful. I wouldn’t beat yourself up for your low AMH - I had a relatively high one for my age and it’s made no difference to my being able to conceive whilst I’ve seen people on here with low AMH conceive. As far as I can work out, it only tells you the likely quantity not quality of your eggs. It seems to me that there is so much luck involved so wishing both you and I some luck for our next round. Xxx

jengi
jengi
in reply to 7AVA

Thank you & good luck to you too! Xx

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