Enjoying pregnancy after previous miscarriages.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant after IVF & appreciate how lucky I am but I feel so guilty because I just can't wait for this pregnancy to be over with in December. I've had 2 previous missed miscarriages before 7 weeks & even after a perfect 12 week scan this time, the fear of it all going wrong just won't leave me. I've had 3 scans so far & I'm happy afterwards believing it will all be fine & buy things for the baby but a couple of days later the anxiety returns again. When did you start having confidence in your pregnancies & enjoy it after previous losses? This will be my only baby so I want to be loving being pregnant.x

[Sarah_S]

Hey, I'm 14 weeks too! I've had a previous empty sac but no miscarriages like you, but I still feel the same as you. I've had 2 scans and still don't feel it's real, and that something is going to go wrong. I haven't been pregnant before, but I think the only time I'll be able to relax is when I start feeling movement on a regular basis. I haven't bought anything yet. I'm going to start pregnancy yoga next week and hoping that will help me to relax, and being around other pregnant women will help it to feel more real! Big hugs to you x

[Hidden in reply to Sarah_S]

Thank you for replying. Pregnancy yoga is a fantastic idea! Like you say, the pregnancy doesn't feel real at all... It will feel better once we feel the baby moving I'm sure. Big hugs back to you 😘 xx

[Hope85]

Good morning! I’m 14 weeks pregnant too! And I know how your feeling. I lost my twin boys at 16+5w last September and this pregnancy is totally different I don’t feel super excited like I did last time & keeping everything low key so there will be no social media baby announcements from me this time around. I’ve already got some bits from last time but I haven’t purchased anything this time and don’t think I will until last minute. I want to enjoy this experience as like you this will probably be our only child! But …Hurry up December!!! 💗 xx

[Hidden in reply to Hope85]

Ah bless you, I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your twins. I can't even imagine what you went through with that 😘. I was excited last time because I stupidly thought it wouldn't happen to me again. I've only purchased a couple of outfits & blankets. I can't even see myself setting up a nursery until the baby has arrived. I'm sorry your feeling the same as me & not having a joyful experience . Good luck with everything 😘 xx

[Hope85 in reply to Hidden]

And congratulations by the way!! 😘 like the other ladies said once we start feeling baby move I think it might feel a bit more real. I’m seeing the pre-term labour clinic every few weeks and they scan my cervix and that so I sorter get to see baby then so that’s a little bit more reassuring this time around too which helps. Are you being seen more often this time? I think once I get the next few weeks out of the way I will feel a little better too. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Hope85]

I'm meant to be having consultant led care but after 6 weeks I'm still waiting for an appointment to come through! Well I've been in Greece for 2 weeks so there may be a letter at home tomorrow when I get back. I may have a blood vessel disorder but they can't fully test for it while pregnant. I've been told the baby may need to be delivered early. I can deal with a premature baby just not another loss. Congratulations to you too, totally forgot to say it earlier 😘 xx

[Hope85 in reply to Hidden]

Oh no have you chased the hospital? That’s not on is it! Oh I’m jealous hope you’ve had a nice time ☀️ and plenty of rest! Oh really I’ve not heard of a blood vessel disorder before. I’m sure the Drs & midwifes will be looking after you. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy xx

[Dreamer0204]

Good Morning, congratulations on your pregnancy I am currently 36 weeks pregnant and for me I have never been able to full relax with the pregnancy. I keep thinking something will go wrong even at this late stage. All I can say is take 1 day at a time and hopefully time will fly for you. I’ve been having lymphatic drainage to help me relax in between appointment, buying things help to make things more realistic but personally until I have my baby in my arms and we are both ok I don’t think I will fully accept the pregnancy. Wishing you all the best xx

[Hidden in reply to Dreamer0204]

Ah bless you, not long left now 🙂. It's such a shame we are robbed of what should be a magical experience. Thank you for sharing your feelings, it helps to know what I feel is normal. I might try buying a few more things for the baby as I never looked at it as making the pregnancy feel more real. Wishing you a wonderful birth & good wishes for when you have your beautiful baby in your arms. Congratulations 😘 xx

[Tugsgirl]

Your fears are so relatable. If I ever get pregnant again I’m sure I’ll be a nervous wreck and spend my time wishing the days away between scans. It’s so cruel that we can’t enjoy it like most women do. I hope you’re able to relax a bit more soon xx

[Hidden in reply to Tugsgirl]

Thank you sweetheart. I hope you have a wonderful wedding & all your wishes come true very soon 😘 xx

[Hidden]

It will get easier I promise. You’ll have days where you’ll feel back to square one but you’ll have more days where you enjoy your pregnancy and feel excited. I think I properly started to enjoy it more after the 20 week scan then I started to feel movements. I always got really anxious before any scans but I knew deep down it was all fine.

Good luck and I hope you start to enjoy it soon xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I am hoping after 20 weeks I will feel differently. It will just feel as if there is a bit less time for things to go wrong I guess. Also I will feel reassured once I can feel him/ her moving. Now it's the not knowing if he / she is ok until the next scan. I'm so glad everything worked out fine for you 😘 xx

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I know exactly what you mean we paid for a private scan at 16 weeks coz I couldn’t wait to find out the sex but also helped with the long wait between 12 and 20 weeks xx

[WeeMrsH]

I am exactly the same gracieboos. My anxiety is palpable. I am 8+1. This is my 4th IVF (this one is donor egg) and 4th pregnancy - with losses at 16, 6 and 6 weeks respectively. I am a nervous wreck. At my first scan (when 6+5) the doctor offered another 2 weeks later, so that will be Tues when I’m 8+5. I can’t see me ever relaxing but as a few ladies above have said, maybe after the 20 week scan or when movements are felt. I really hope so! I think at this stage too it’s the not showing which doesn’t help. Even with some symptoms I don’t believe I am pregnant and because we know how often things go wrong we are even more on edge. It’s quite sad really that even after all it takes us to get here we can’t manage to enjoy our pregnancies. Lots of love, I hope it gets easier for you xx

[Hidden in reply to WeeMrsH]

Good luck with your next scan Hun. I'm sorry to hear of your earlier losses, totally heart-breaking especially with the IVF cycles too. It is so sad we aren't able to enjoy our pregnancies. I hope you find yourself able to enjoy your pregnancy after 20 weeks too & the time flies for you so you have your rainbow baby in your arms before you know it 😘 xx

[Kezbag]

I’m feeling the same lady. I’m only 10 weeks and I’ve already had two private scans for reassurance on top of two routine scans at the clinic. I’ve had two miscarriages and I’m absolutely petrified that something is going to go wrong with this one. Trying to balance my anxiety with the need to remain calm and stress-free is impossible sometimes.

Infertility and miscarriages steal so much joy from every single one of us at every single stage of this process. I keep telling myself that if everything is ok at the 12 week scan I’ll be able to relax but I’m not sure I will. It’s so hard.

I hope you find some peace soon. Maybe when you finally start to feel little one start jiggling about you can relax into it and enjoy it a bit more. Xx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I’m in exactly the same boat, right down to two miscarriages and three scans so far. Also 14 weeks. I was saying only yesterday that I can’t wait to get to December! But I am trying hard to believe in my baby. At the end of the day, giving in to the worry that is always there at the back of my mind is not going to make any difference to how awful I would feel if it were all over so I may as well try to enjoy being pregnant whilst I am. The success stories on here are helpful- all those women probably felt exactly the same through their pregnancies and now they are mums.