2x Question re Missed Miscarriages

[baby2016]

Ladies, for all of those who have sadly had to experience this horrible type of miscarriage how long from finding out did you naturally start bleeding, or was it that you all had to have medical help of some sort?

I had a natural Missed Miscarriage approx 4yrs ago who where dates showed our little one died just under 7wks, this was only picked up at a private scan at 9wks 5days, of which I pleaded for a d&c asap. I had the d&c at just over 10wks, so little one had been there for approx 3wks without any sign of a bleed. This time, using donor eggs little one died at approx 6wks 5 days, I would have been 8wks today and came off all drugs on Thursday. I've got to ring the clinic on Tuesday if not started bleeding to be referred to EPU, however I want a more natural approach this time and wondered if this is possible with a missed miscarriage or if I'm going to have to take the tablets?? I suspect my body still thinks it's pregnant as my boobs hurt more than ever and my temp is still high and showing no signs of dropping so fear that I'll need some sort of intervention but scared of any infection that could set in with having to wait. Any advice/experiences what ever they are would be much appreciated.

Also..... is there anyone who has suffered 2 or more Missed miscarriages and gone on to get their previous rainbow baby? I've had 1 natural miscarriage, 2x ectopics, now 2x Missed miscarriages and 2x chemicals, so a very mixed bag really but it's the Missed miscarriages that concern me the most.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry to hear that you having to deal with another loss sweetheart. I have had 2 missed miscarriages & its hospital policy at my local EPU to re scan you after 2 weeks before giving the option of a D & C , medical management etc. The first time round I didn't initially know I was pregnant but was told at a scan to check the Endometriosis on my ovaries & there was no heartbeat with the baby measuring 6 weeks. I didn't get a D & C until 20 days later & started to bleed that morning . The 2nd missed miscarriage was detected at 8 weeks, after a 7 week scan had been fine. Again I had to wait for the re scan but started bleeding really heavily after 12 days so was admitted through A & E & had my D & C done then. If I remember correctly ,both times I was given the option of a more natural approach but the D & C was the best choice for me. I hope you are able to have the best option for you & you are in a position to begin the heal very soon. Thinking of you xx

[baby2016 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Gracie for your reply and I'm so sorry you've had to experience this too. TBH if I could have a d&c this time I would, as found it much easier to try and deal with the first time having one and not having to see or feel anything, but I've been advised against having another one because I already suffer with having a thin lining, (which may have been caused by my first d&c) and can't risk having any more damage caused to the lining. It's all the waiting and knowing that your much longed for baby is dead inside you that messes with your mind the most isn't it. This weekend I've just got on as normal really and I'm sure it's my bodies way of coping but I know in the next week or so when everything starts that's when it will hit me.

I hope your coping ok in your 2ww and got everything crossed for you that you get a BFP and your precious rainbow xxx

[Hidden in reply to baby2016]

Yes it really does mess with your head knowing that your longed for baby is dead inside you 😢. Like you, I kind of plodded on as normal but it hit me when my period arrived after the D & C. I really hope you get through this ok, your body returns to normal & someday soon you get your beautiful rainbow 🌈 baby. My 2ww is awful, my brain won't switch off but like so many of us, if this cycle has failed I'll pick myself up & try again. Look after yourself xx

[baby2016 in reply to Hidden]

Keep focused, not long to go now and as much as those days will drag I found it so much easier to keep busy and lead as normal a life as possible xx

[Hollibob]

The decision is never easy, but you have to do what is best for you.

I opted for natural both times as I wanted to be at home and I’ve heard mixed information about the other methods. Infact the clinic said that natural is better for your body too.

With the first known miscarriage with ivf, this is roughly what happened for me:

Week 9

+4 slight spotting

+5 missed miscarriage confirmed

+6 slight spotting

I text my Acupuncture lady to let her know and asked if seeing her would help and she said that it can assist in inducing the miscarriage.

Week 10

+1 Had Acupuncture

+2 Everything increasing

+3 Main part of miscarriage occurred

They say if you haven't started bleeding in a certain amount of time then they get you back to the clinic.

They did another scan on me, I think in week 11 to check if all had passed and I was told that something small was still remaining and to go back in a week. I think I had a bit more spotting after that and the scan confirmed everything was complete in week 12.

I think the acupuncture definitely speeded things up for me on a natural basis. Have you had acupuncture before?

X

[baby2016 in reply to Hollibob]

Thanks Hollibob for your reply. Funnily enough i've been having weekly accupuncture since jan and when I heard the news on thurs cancelled my next two appointments but now after reading your reply it makes more sense that maybe I should have kept those appointments now 😬 I'm hoping it all happens naturally to protect my lining. How quickly did your body return to normal as in how long was your wait till your next period?

I understand your wait to decide what to do for the future, we're having some work done on the house next month and obviously hubby is awaiting a liver transplant and it was worrying me last week how I'd cope when he gets the call as the average wait is 5-6months. Could just do with him getting the call in the next month and gives him a few months to recover but at the same time we don't want to keep putting everything on hold when potentially the wait could be 12months plus. It's so hard when there's other outside influences, and in a way I think that's why I find it hard to grieve, as I sort of feel guilty thinking that least my hubbys still here and hopefully his op will go well, so I feel like I can't grieve for all my losses knowing what he's got to go through is life threatening if that makes any sort of sense! Xx

[Hollibob in reply to baby2016]

It might be worth contacting them to see if you can get booked back in to start the process off naturally?

My body actually settled back into a ‘normal’ pattern straight away. Considering that my body has never been classed as regular, I was pretty surprised.

I know what you mean about timeframe. As well as the other stuff I mentioned, my father in law died suddenly last January. In some ways it makes you think life is too short, but timing has to be right in your head, otherwise you are fighting the negative demons straight away.

[baby2016 in reply to Hollibob]

Very true words! I'm just waiting for a call back from the clinic 😬 glad to hear your body returned back to normal pretty quick, amazing how our bodies cope and regenerate through all this.

So sorry to hear about your FIL, my dad died suddenly 5 yrs ago this April, and the thing that always gets me is he's not been here for any of this journey to support and just give me one of those huge fatherly hugs to say everything will be ok 😔instead I have my 2 gorgeous doggies for that as well as the hubby xxx

[Autumnmoon]

My heart goes out to you it is so unfair that you have had to cope with so much loss sending love and hoping that your dream comes true soon x

[baby2016 in reply to Autumnmoon]

Thank you Autumnmoon x

[FakeHappy]

We found out after spotting after almost 12 weeks that it had stopped growing around 7 weeks, the proper bleeding started a few days after that and happened on and off for around a month. We weren't given any choice apart from letting it happen naturally,if it happened again I'd probably ask for medication to speed it up as it took so long, I'd be scared about having an operation though I know it's considered a minor one xx

[baby2016]

Thanks Fakehappy, MMC are so cruel as they give you all those weeks to dream of the future and plan so many things in your head. They are truly horrible.

I'm surprised you weren't given any other options. I've been advised against another d&c as they can damage and thin your lining which they are not sure if that's the reason for my lining issues now because of a previous d&c so will need to be tablets or natural this time.

I hope where ever you are upto on your journey everything is going well xx

[7AVA]

I had a missed miscarriage in 2015 and it happened naturally, I think it was about 10 days after noticing the initial spotting. Very hard to wait for it to happen but at the time I didn’t really consider other options and I remember feeling pleased with my body that it had responded naturally at a time when I felt it had failed me. At such an awful time I’m just wishing you the speediest and most painless way of doing this that there possibly is. Xxxx

[Caroliono4]

Hi I'm really sorry to hear any your missed miscarriage. I've had 4, two naturally and two by medical management. For the first one I started with spotting around 6 weeks which then got progressively heavier act miscarried around 14 days later. For the last one it was 10 days from initial spotting. The two in-between I had no spotting but was having early scans through the RMC which picked up mmc. With these the bleeding did not come on until after the start of medical management.