Game over for me : Absolutely... - Fertility Network UK

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Game over for me

Noobs profile image
60 Replies

Absolutely devastated. Starting spotting yesterday and now into a full period after 11 days after ET. This is just horrible. In floods of tears. Any pick me up advice ladies apart from phoning in sick to work today.x

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Noobs profile image
Noobs
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60 Replies
Autumnmoon profile image
Autumnmoon

Oh no I am sorry definitely Don't go to work rest at home and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right for you only have contact with understanding people and stay away from anyone likely to say stupid things hope you have the love and support you need x

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Autumnmoon

Thanks Autumnmoon.xx

elle80 profile image
elle80

Aww Noobs 😔 I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you a big hug and lots of love xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to elle80

Thank you.xx

You must be devastated. No tips but you will get through this in time. Phone in sick. Snuggle on the sofa with your duvet and watch trashy movies. Sending you hugs xxxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to

That sounds like a plan. Thank you.xx

KJLee profile image
KJLee

Oh Noobs... I'm so so sorry. Its ok to feel this way right now, take time for you. Thinking of you and sending lots of love xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to KJLee

Thank you. I have everything crossed for you KJLee and really hope to hear positive news.🤞xx

KJLee profile image
KJLee in reply to Noobs

Aw thank you xx

I am so sorry to hear this gutted for you. I haven’t been through IVF but have had 4 rounds of clomid fail; I imagine IVF must be 100 times worse. It’s every women’s worst fear that is trying for a baby. All I can say is to be kind to yourself; know it is not in anyway your fault it is beyond any of our control. Put yourself first and if you can’t face work yet don’t go. Treat yourselves spoil yourself 😏and do something nice just the two of you even it’s just a meal out 😊 Sending lots of hugs and thinking of you ; you will get through this you are tough lady we all are fighting infertility 😁🤪 xoxo

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to

Aw thank you. It’s a very tough journey isn’t it. Wishing you lots of luck in your journey💪Xx

I'm so sorry to read this. No advice apart from take as much time as you need to grieve. Thinking of you xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to

Thank you.xx

Absolutely devastated for you 😢 and know exactly how you feel... 6 miscarriages (3 requiring surgery) We go through so much and invest so much of ourselves. Please rest, be kind to yourselves, treat yourself and I promise you’ll grow stronger from this...we all become resilient warriors. I felt horrendous for a few weeks and allowed myself to grieve and then an overwhelming strength comes over me and my husband and we crack on. We have so many blessings and things to be grateful for and all of us will get our babies in the end 🙏🏼. Sending lots of love and healing light xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to

Thank you. Wow you’ve certainly been through the mill, sorry to hear that. You’re right though, just have to crack on and have hope. Xx

Smang profile image
Smang

I’m so sorry Noobs 😢 BFNs are always difficult. Take the day off and honestly just do whatever you want or need to do. We are all here for you...Thinking of you xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Smang

Than you Smang. This forum is the only place you can fully say how you feel, and people get it. I’ve had a good cry, slept and phoned the hospital. I have one frozen so I can try again in 3 months.xx

Leo2017 profile image
Leo2017

So sorry to read this!! Take time to get your strength back!! 😢xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Leo2017

Thank you.x

Gillyc1 profile image
Gillyc1

I’m so sorry Noobs. Be kind to yourself and grieve the way that suits you best. I know you may not think it now but you will be ok. I know exactly how you feel, it’s devastating. Sending massive hugs my love xxxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Gillyc1

Thank you.xx

KDA0510 profile image
KDA0510

Oh Noobs, I am so sorry to read this. Sending you lots of love and strength xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to KDA0510

Thank you.xx

Kyell2 profile image
Kyell2

I am so sorry you are having to go through this 😔 sending hugs x

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Kyell2

Thank you.xx

emu2016 profile image
emu2016

Lots of love Noobs. Take time to relax and rest. You definitely need to rest and take time for you x

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to emu2016

Thanks Emu2016.xx

Blondie_81 profile image
Blondie_81

I’m so very sorry to hear this - don’t go into work, give yourself time to let all the emotions out don’t bottle it up - cry, scream, stamp and shout whatever you have to do and over time (always takes a few weeks with me of feeling like absolute crap) but you will feel stronger and better. I’m gutted for you and really feel for you sending a big virtual hug 🤗 💓 take care of yourself xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Blondie_81

Thank you.xx

WaywardGirl profile image
WaywardGirl

So sorry to hear this. Sending gentle hugs x

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to WaywardGirl

Thank you.xx

Hugs Noobs Xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to

Thank you.xx

Flimzee profile image
Flimzee

I am so sorry to hear this. I always found some good food and a nice a glass of something that I wasn’t allowed during ivf helped a little. And chocolate. Take some time out and take good care of yourself. Sending you love xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Flimzee

Thank you.xx

MRSZC profile image
MRSZC

I have just had the same. Negative test Friday then full blown period Sunday. It’s devastating I feel your pain. Rest. Chocolate and Netflix

Xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to MRSZC

Oh no. Sorry to hear that. It’s heartbreaking isn’t it. Even though I knew this may not work and approached the whole process with this in mind, there is still that flicker of hope that you may be lucky. When the flicker is blown out, it’s simply devastating. Sending you hugs too.xx

MRSZC profile image
MRSZC in reply to Noobs

Ditto. I was filled with so much hope. It’s so much emotionally and physically to go through and in a second is taken away. Lots of hugs for you. We will get there x

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to MRSZC

Positive thoughts and hugs for us both💪Xx

Rachael_ profile image
Rachael_

Sorry to hear this noobs take lots and lots of care ❤️ xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Rachael_

Thank you.xx

Devj profile image
Devj

So so sorry to hear this. Reading your post took me straight back to my failed cycle and I feel your pain so bad. Definitely phone into work sick and rest, do whatever you feel is right for you.

Thinking of you xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Devj

Thank you. It’s awful isn’t it. I’ve had two days of crying and lying around feeling sorry for myself and today I’ve put my big girl pants on and I’m going to work. I’m on holiday for a week in a few days so need a bit normality. Hope your done by okay? Do you mind me asking if that was your first time on ivf?xx

Devj profile image
Devj in reply to Noobs

Glad to hear you’re starting to feel a little better. Going back to work is the first step, well done. Take each day as it comes.

It was my first round that failed, my fresh cycle and it was awful. Everything went so well with the whole process until that moment and when my period came on day 9 of the 2ww it was a shock and just horrible.

Having said that, 5 months later I went onto have a successful FBT transfer. So just get through this and better times are ahead. It may not seem like it now I know.

Take care xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Devj

Oh wow, congratulations. Really pleased for you and it’s great to hear there are happy endings.xx

Good morning, I’m so sorry to read this as it takes me back to the same pain and heartache I went through when it happened to me. I cried - a lot - read a book, I recommend ‘The Cows’ by Dawn O Porter. It will have you laughing. I had a prosecco with my chippy at 5pm and then cried some more at night. Be good to yourself. The pain hasn’t left me yet but time does make it easier to manage. Think about your follow-up consultation appointment and write down all the positives things that went right during your IVF cycle and anything you think went wrong or could be altered for next time. Sending a massive hug xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to

Aw thank you. Prosecco with a chippy ha ha, sounds good. I may try that tonight. Great idea re the positives. I have one frozen so there is still a little hope. Wishing you luck on your journey.xx

Niki_B profile image
Niki_B

I feel for ya hun. Just had my BFN last week I was devasted...cried for days still not well really. And no frostie :( 1 more round funded and if that doesn't work (Oh and in NZ they WILL NOT put in 2 embies, only 1) that's my dreams smashed as don't have the money to fund myself. Big hugs hun, it flipping sucks :( have wine, eat ice cream and cry...thats all you can do. Sending you big virtual cuddles xoxoxox

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Niki_B

I’m sorry to hear that nikib1980. Goodness, it’s really not been easy for any of us on this forum but then I guess that’s why we’re all here. I was only entitled to 1 round funded and I have one frozen so I still have a little hope. If that doesn’t work, like you my dreams are shattered. Keep everything crossed for both of us. 💪🤞xx

Niki_B profile image
Niki_B in reply to Noobs

Oh yay so glad to hear you have a frostie!! yes was completely devastated after 15 eggs...14 mature and 11 fertilize overnight...not to have 1 frostie :( and now go through it allll over again my egg retrieval was horrendous they don't fully put you out here and I was screaming down the house it was brutal...but would have been all worth it. I'm going it all over again..gosh I don't know how I'll cope 2nd time round if it doesn't work :( lots of sticky baby dust for you hun! And yes nobody really understands except us ladies...i have now deleted my Facebook app because I cannot bear to see 1 more wee baby or another baby bump :( it sucks I hate feeling like this xox

Laceygirl profile image
Laceygirl

So sorry to hear this, there is no ‘ideal’ way to deal with it, just do what you need to do, and feel what is there - all feelings are real, don’t suppress anything- it will work it’s way out somehow or other, today, tomorrow or weeks, months later - so just let it out now. Be kind to yourself most of all - you are a wonderful person I am sure - and there will come a time when you’ll feel better - everything will always be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end. Sending you much love 💕💕💕💕 xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Laceygirl

I love this sentiment. ‘If it’s not alright it’s not the end’. That’s going to be my mantra Laceygirl, thank you.xx

Vicky1209 profile image
Vicky1209

This was me last week, the day before test day I came on...I’m gutted, after 6 failed rounds on Clomid, it was our first round of IVF, only 7 eggs collected only 1 viable egg for transfer and no embryos available for freezing. Spent Friday watching trash tv, intermittently crying, feeling like such a failure, but I have some great support around me, & we will just reevaluate and try again and strangely after such an intense period I feel like I now have a bit of respite!

Do what you need to do...sending you all the luck in the world! Xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Vicky1209

Oh Vicky1209. Sorry to hear that. It’s blooming tough isn’t it. Wishing you all the luck too!xx

Paris1-1 profile image
Paris1-1

Hey Noobs hope your feeling alittle better today. I went through this last month, so know how you feel. It's devastating but keep your spirits up. Listen to some feel good music and lots of comfort food 😘xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Paris1-1

Thank you. Xx

Asweetpea profile image
Asweetpea

I’m so sorry Noobs. I hope your ok. Sending you lots of love.xxx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Asweetpea

Thank you. Everything crossed for you on test day. Hope you’re doing okay?xx

Asweetpea profile image
Asweetpea in reply to Noobs

I’m good. Tested this am. Got a bfp.

Thank you for thinking of me. I appreciate asking when your having such a difficult time.xxxSo sorry that things haven’t worked out this time. Sending you lots of love.

Think it’s important to take sometime for yourself. Hope your doing ok.xx

Noobs profile image
Noobs in reply to Asweetpea

Aw amazing! I’m honestly so pleased for you. I’m doing fine, and will be fine. You take care of yourself.xx

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