Failed ICSI BFN

[Em2405]

Writing this with a heavy heart and big fat tears. BFN. All the time, energy, pain, emotions for nothing.

Feel numb and then great sadness. My heart is broken and breaks again every time I see my OH upset. It breaks again every time I thinks about the embie that didn’t make it.

When does the pain get better? Can’t even imagine taking to the consultant about another cycle. It’s too much. Life seems cruel.

This board has given me a place to come when I feel I have nowhere to go with these feelings and everyone has been so kind. Thank you. You are all warriors to go through this.

[Gembob86]

I feel exactly the same as you. This is my 2nd failed one. My test date isn't until Monday but my period is here so guessing it's a negative too. It's a horrible feeling, feel like I've failed again

[Em2405 in reply to Gembob86]

It’s such an overwhelming sense of failure and loss. I don’t think anyone can understand unless they’ve been through it. I’m so sorry and hope you are okay. Make sure you test on Monday as hard and as painful as that is. I’m heartbroken for me but also my OH. It’s hurting me to see him so sad and lost. We really thought it would work. I guess you have to. How long after your first did you start the 2nd cycle? Sending you lots of positive vibes and hugs xxx

[Gembob86 in reply to Em2405]

I know it is. I thought it has worked this time as I felt so much different than the last 2ww. Yeah I feel the same and for my family who helped us out with the money. The first failed in November and did It April. That was because my period didn't come straight away and they wanted me to have 2 then they did scans on my lining and stuff. Thank you you too xx

[elle80]

Sorry to hear your news. Xxx

[Em2405 in reply to elle80]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

So sorry to hear your news, take time to build your strength back up before you decide if you want to go on.

Look after yourselfs xx

[Em2405 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you x

[Tugsgirl]

Sorry to read you’ve had a bfn. They are really hard xx

[Wishfully]

This process can be soul destroying. I hope you’re ok x

[Saya85]

Aww em that’s horrible- and I can totally empathise - I had been quite pragmatic about possibility of a bfn.

But when I saw my OHs reaction- he was totally blindsided- far too optimistic and thought it was a sure thing.

It absolutely crushed me when I saw him react to the news. That’s when I broke into tears.

It’s definitely hard but allow your mind and body to process it. It does get easier in time and there are many women who had repeated bfns before getting pregnant.

Once you do see consultant push for further tests and protocol changes to increase Chances infuture. Don’t let them just fob u off xx

[Hidden]

Its awful i know how you feel i too have had 2 rounds of ICSI both failed. First one the worst didnt even make embryo transfer as had none. 2nd one was a double embryo transfer both good embryos and then 2 weeks later BFN and bled all over the test stick as i peed! Im thinking Cyprus is next for donor due to my age. X

[Cinderella5]

Awww I'm really sorry! Most of us have been through this and know how you feel and it's pretty crappy to say the least! There's nothing that can be said or done to ease the pain. Take some time to do some nice things together. It does get easier but takes time. Sending hugs xx

[Looby25]

So sorry to hear this, look after each other x x x

[Autumnmoon]

Sorry you have had your hopes dashed sending love look after each other and hoping you get lots of support x

[Noobs]

Sorry to hear this.x

[Kaylon]

I'm so sorry Em2405. We got a BFN too and it has been a very dark day for us. Losing all hope for future tries. Just so cruel. Sending you lots of love and hope your heart feels a little less heavy each day xxx

[Kittykib77]

I was in your exact situation a month ago. It was so hard, I'd had a really tough time after egg collection with a bad reaction to sedation, blood in my peritoneal cavity then OHSS to boot. When I got my negative and then the awful period after it was horrible. I just felt incredibly low, tearful, depressed and like I'd let those poor embryos down. However, gradually I started to pick up, hormones getting back to normal helped and physically and mentally I feel better. I feel stronger to consider going back on the waiting list for my frozen guys. Hang in there, you are more resilient than you realise but right now just go with the sadness and tears, let your oh comfort. Good luckxx

[Em2405]

Thank you all so much for your replies. It means so much in this dark time. You are all amazing and so brave. Thank you xxx

[Becky179]

Oh I'm very sorry. It really is so tough. After my 1st bfn I left it over a year before going again. Then my 2nd which was a bfp which ended in mmc. I deff felt stronger (wierdly) and did my 3rd cycle as soon as i could.

You take your time to get strong again. Xxx

[Blondie_81]

I’m so so sorry for you. I’ve been going through similar - just come back off holiday after our 3rd BFN (2 fresh, 1 frozen) and just feel so low and teary. Don’t know where to turn and where to go next want tests but our clinic don’t do them so thinking of going further afield (which is another stress factor fitting in around work and added expense for travel etc). Got 1 frostie left but can’t even think of trying that yet I just feel like what’s the point? Feel like our clinic just aren’t helping us enough...

anyway I wish you all the luck and success in the world and this forum really is such a fantastic source of support as it helps you to not feel so alone xxx