Failed ICSI BFN : Writing this with a... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

56,458 members59,773 posts

Failed ICSI BFN

Em2405 profile image
20 Replies

Writing this with a heavy heart and big fat tears. BFN. All the time, energy, pain, emotions for nothing.

Feel numb and then great sadness. My heart is broken and breaks again every time I see my OH upset. It breaks again every time I thinks about the embie that didn’t make it.

When does the pain get better? Can’t even imagine taking to the consultant about another cycle. It’s too much. Life seems cruel.

This board has given me a place to come when I feel I have nowhere to go with these feelings and everyone has been so kind. Thank you. You are all warriors to go through this.

Written by
Em2405 profile image
Em2405
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Read more about...
20 Replies
Gembob86 profile image
Gembob86

I feel exactly the same as you. This is my 2nd failed one. My test date isn't until Monday but my period is here so guessing it's a negative too. It's a horrible feeling, feel like I've failed again

Em2405 profile image
Em2405 in reply toGembob86

It’s such an overwhelming sense of failure and loss. I don’t think anyone can understand unless they’ve been through it. I’m so sorry and hope you are okay. Make sure you test on Monday as hard and as painful as that is. I’m heartbroken for me but also my OH. It’s hurting me to see him so sad and lost. We really thought it would work. I guess you have to. How long after your first did you start the 2nd cycle? Sending you lots of positive vibes and hugs xxx

Gembob86 profile image
Gembob86 in reply toEm2405

I know it is. I thought it has worked this time as I felt so much different than the last 2ww. Yeah I feel the same and for my family who helped us out with the money. The first failed in November and did It April. That was because my period didn't come straight away and they wanted me to have 2 then they did scans on my lining and stuff. Thank you you too xx

elle80 profile image
elle80

Sorry to hear your news. Xxx

Em2405 profile image
Em2405 in reply toelle80

Thank you x

So sorry to hear your news, take time to build your strength back up before you decide if you want to go on.

Look after yourselfs xx

Em2405 profile image
Em2405 in reply to

Thank you x

Tugsgirl profile image
Tugsgirl

Sorry to read you’ve had a bfn. They are really hard xx

Wishfully profile image
Wishfully

This process can be soul destroying. I hope you’re ok x

Saya85 profile image
Saya85

Aww em that’s horrible- and I can totally empathise - I had been quite pragmatic about possibility of a bfn.

But when I saw my OHs reaction- he was totally blindsided- far too optimistic and thought it was a sure thing.

It absolutely crushed me when I saw him react to the news. That’s when I broke into tears.

It’s definitely hard but allow your mind and body to process it. It does get easier in time and there are many women who had repeated bfns before getting pregnant.

Once you do see consultant push for further tests and protocol changes to increase Chances infuture. Don’t let them just fob u off xx

Its awful i know how you feel i too have had 2 rounds of ICSI both failed. First one the worst didnt even make embryo transfer as had none. 2nd one was a double embryo transfer both good embryos and then 2 weeks later BFN and bled all over the test stick as i peed! Im thinking Cyprus is next for donor due to my age. X

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Awww I'm really sorry! Most of us have been through this and know how you feel and it's pretty crappy to say the least! There's nothing that can be said or done to ease the pain. Take some time to do some nice things together. It does get easier but takes time. Sending hugs xx

Looby25 profile image
Looby25

So sorry to hear this, look after each other x x x

Autumnmoon profile image
Autumnmoon

Sorry you have had your hopes dashed sending love look after each other and hoping you get lots of support x

Noobs profile image
Noobs

Sorry to hear this.x

Kaylon profile image
Kaylon

I'm so sorry Em2405. We got a BFN too and it has been a very dark day for us. Losing all hope for future tries. Just so cruel. Sending you lots of love and hope your heart feels a little less heavy each day xxx

Kittykib77 profile image
Kittykib77

I was in your exact situation a month ago. It was so hard, I'd had a really tough time after egg collection with a bad reaction to sedation, blood in my peritoneal cavity then OHSS to boot. When I got my negative and then the awful period after it was horrible. I just felt incredibly low, tearful, depressed and like I'd let those poor embryos down. However, gradually I started to pick up, hormones getting back to normal helped and physically and mentally I feel better. I feel stronger to consider going back on the waiting list for my frozen guys. Hang in there, you are more resilient than you realise but right now just go with the sadness and tears, let your oh comfort. Good luckxx

Em2405 profile image
Em2405

Thank you all so much for your replies. It means so much in this dark time. You are all amazing and so brave. Thank you xxx

Becky179 profile image
Becky179

Oh I'm very sorry. It really is so tough. After my 1st bfn I left it over a year before going again. Then my 2nd which was a bfp which ended in mmc. I deff felt stronger (wierdly) and did my 3rd cycle as soon as i could.

You take your time to get strong again. Xxx

Blondie_81 profile image
Blondie_81

I’m so so sorry for you. I’ve been going through similar - just come back off holiday after our 3rd BFN (2 fresh, 1 frozen) and just feel so low and teary. Don’t know where to turn and where to go next want tests but our clinic don’t do them so thinking of going further afield (which is another stress factor fitting in around work and added expense for travel etc). Got 1 frostie left but can’t even think of trying that yet I just feel like what’s the point? Feel like our clinic just aren’t helping us enough...

anyway I wish you all the luck and success in the world and this forum really is such a fantastic source of support as it helps you to not feel so alone xxx

Not what you're looking for?

You may also like...

Again.....another BFN 😭

After doing a cheeky test on Tuesday and it being negative and crying all morning i secretly hoped...
Ketajean profile image

Failed ICSI - First Cycle

I’ve just found out that my first cycle of IVF ICSI has failed ... I’m so heartbroken. I think I...
XOXO13 profile image

OTD BFN ICSI round 1 failed... feeling crushed 😢

So round one ICSI has resulted in a BfN :'( nothing prepared me for how bad this would feel. My...
ICSIBaby86 profile image

BFN 10dp5dt

So my partner gave in and allowed us to test... BFN 😰 now he's had to go to work upset and I feel...
ICSIBaby86 profile image

Failed ICSI

I’m currently alone on the spare bedroom floor sobbing my heart out. Received a call from the...
Janop79 profile image

Moderation team

See all
Claire_FNUK profile image
Claire_FNUKAdministrator
JA-fnuk profile image
JA-fnukPartner

Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.

Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.