As my 38th birthday approaches on the 4th so too does the one year anniversary of when we lost our first baby together. April the 3rd we were given the news that shook me to the core; that our baby didn’t have a heartbeat anymore. My birthday the next day was easily the worst birthday ever. The following day after my birthday, the 5th of April, I had surgery. That baby would be about 5 months old now. Added to this “anniversary” is my next due date from our second baby, which was due April 17th. I should be so excited and nervous right now about the prospect of giving birth, of being a new Mum, but in reality I’m just coming off the back of a failed frozen ivf cycle, all out of embryos, and clinging onto the thought that a whole new round of ivf will give us our much wanted rainbow 🌈 baby. A family of our very own.
Hope. It may not be much but it’s all I have. Hope and a little bit of desperation.