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I’m going to find the next few days and weeks harder than usual.. feeling sad, angry, desperate but I still have a bit of hope 🌈

I’m going to find the next few days and weeks harder than usual.. feeling sad, angry, desperate but I still have a bit of hope 🌈

As my 38th birthday approaches on the 4th so too does the one year anniversary of when we lost our first baby together. April the 3rd we were given the news that shook me to the core; that our baby didn’t have a heartbeat anymore. My birthday the next day was easily the worst birthday ever. The following day after my birthday, the 5th of April, I had surgery. That baby would be about 5 months old now. Added to this “anniversary” is my next due date from our second baby, which was due April 17th. I should be so excited and nervous right now about the prospect of giving birth, of being a new Mum, but in reality I’m just coming off the back of a failed frozen ivf cycle, all out of embryos, and clinging onto the thought that a whole new round of ivf will give us our much wanted rainbow 🌈 baby. A family of our very own.

Hope. It may not be much but it’s all I have. Hope and a little bit of desperation.

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sending love and hugs...you are stronger than you know xxxx

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Thank you Vic xx

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Bless you, Tugsgirl. You’re a fighter like all of us. Yes, keep hoping and holding your head up high to the world and be a fabulous woman. You’ll get through tomorrow and the 17th.

I’ve had 2 miscarriages and silently remembered the due dates in Dec ‘15 and Jan ‘18.

I know it sounds odd, but believe that everything happens for a good reason. We may think something is bad, but it is really good for us and vice versa.

The angels are watching over us and guiding us along our well lit path.

I wish I could hold your hand, share a tear and a smile and give you a hug.

Take care, dear Sister. XOXOXOXOXO

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Thank you for your kind words xx

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Eeeeeeee dear me. You are definitely one of the strongest ladies here. I know you won’t feel it. Big hugs and here’s to the next part of your journey xx

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Thanks emu xx

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What a tough month for you. You'll never forget your babies but I hope things will be a lot brighter for you by this time next year. Happy birthday for the 4th xx

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Thank you xx

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Thinking of you lovely 💕 hugs xx

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Much appreciated xx

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Oh Tugsgirl, sending you so much love 💖 right now. Glad you still have hope, you deserve a baby so much. Fingers and everything else crossed that hope prevails for you. Take care and lots of love 💕 and hugs 🤗 xx

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That’s so lovely thank you xx

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Awwww my love feeling so upset for you right now, 😢💗

Your such a lovely couple and yous deserve this more than many, keep hold of the hope I'm sure your next round will be your rainbow 🌈thinking of you both and sending lots of love, try to enjoy your bday I know it's hard i lost my first the day after my bday. Sending you both lots of love and hugs. 💗🤗😘

P. S love the pics 💗

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Thank you my friend. I hope you’re feeling a bit better now xx

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Getting there slowly. Big hugs to you 💗🤗😘😘

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Wish I could say something magical that would help all I can think of is cling on to your hope and do whatever you can to get through these tough days you have lots of friends here that care a lot about you x

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We’re all lucky to have each other xx

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What a tough obstacle you face hunnie.

My thoughts are with you, you are so much stronger than you feel and you will get through it although it does not feel like it.

I am sending you loads of love and a massive squeeze.

That rainbow 🌈 is just behind the clouds ☁️

Xx💕xx

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Thank you for your lovely message xx

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Your welcome - you know you have my support and shoulder if ever needed 💕 xx

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💕

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An awful month for you. I feel so sad for you. You've had too many knocks. Hoping you find the strength to carry on over the next few days. Happy birthday for the 4th. Really thinking about you and trusting that things begin to look up for you soon that you deserve so much. Not long until your wedding. Now that is something to concentrate on amidst the sad memories that April brings. Xo

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Thank you for the birthday wishes. Yes, just finalising payments for our wedding now and beginning to get a bit excited xx

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Sending u big hugs xx

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Thank you xx

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Such a tough month, what should of been just adds to the heartache but remember how much you’ve faced and how strong you are. I hope your able to enjoy your birthday knowing your little angels are watching over you xx

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Thank you. I know you’ve had it really tough too xx

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Your rainbow will come soon. Where there is rain there will be sun and there will be a rainbow. A whole lot of this is hope and belief and getting your body to a place. I know you will do it. I know it will happen for you. I feel it. Wishing you so much love and happiness. Be strong girl. Xxxx

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That’s nice thanks xx

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Praying for you that new doors are opened with the next fresh cycle...may your miracle be around the corner and that you remain expectant and strong xx

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Thank you xx

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Hey lovely, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you. It’s a popular thing to say “you’re so strong” but I know sometimes that’s just words and the feeling doesn’t match up. It’s ok to be fragile too. Really hope you can have a great birthday with those you love and love you too. Hold on to hope and your partner. Lots of love xx

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This birthday has to be better than the last so thank you xx

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Oh my, this just rattled my heart. Sending you the hugest tightest hug and lots of love xxxxxx

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Thank you xx

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It’s so hard to know what to say. I too am approaching my 38th birthday with two miscarriage badges it is so hard. I don’t know where we find the strength sometimes but you gave me some a few months ago when I needed it and was feeling very low. Dig deep, good things will happen 😘😘😘

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I’m glad I was able to help you in some small way xx

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Sending you love and the strength to get through the next few days -and your next round. This journey is so tough and I’ll never understand why we have to go through it but you are stronger than you know and a real voice of hope and support to a lot of the ladies on here, so here’s a little bit of hope and support back.xx

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And it’s really appreciated thank you xx

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Tough month for you coming up Vicky! Your memory plaques in memory of your lost little ones are beautiful! Sending love and hugs.xxx

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Thank you lovely xx

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Oh tugs you’re one of the strongest women I’ve ever come across I have such admiration for you. Just take it one step at a time as it’s going to be a difficult month for you. I’ll always remember the due dates for my miscarried babies, Xmas eve and Valentine’s Day being among them! You’ll never forget but it will get easier. Sending you lots of love and big hug 💕💕💕💕

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Thank you. Sometimes I do need reminding that I’m strong xx

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You’re in my thoughts. You have had a difficult journey. Sending you positive thoughts and vibes xxx

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Thanks xx

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Ah bless you. What a tough month you've got coming. Your memory Wall is lovely, what a beautiful way to remember. I hope you can have a nice birthday. Wishing you lots of love, strength & hugs xxx

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Thank you xx

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You are amazingly strong 💖 Sending you love and hugs 🤗

Hope is the thing with feathers

That perches in the soul,

And sings the tune without the words,

And never stops at all

Xxx

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That’s beautiful xx

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I just want to say sorry for ur loss😪 ive had a failed round of ivf and a mc last year ive found out im pregnant again but dare not to get my hopes up i wish u all the best and i hope u get ur little bundle soon this whole jurny we all have to go threw is tough😔 really hope ur dreams come true sending love xxxxxxxx

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Congratulations. I hope this is your time 🤞 xx

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Thank u i really hope it all works out for u too xxx

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Aww Tugs, your picture area is beautiful. I wish I had the courage to do something similar. Anniversary dates and engraved somehow onto our brains and it's such a hard time, especially with this one being right near your bday 😢especially with another due date so soon after. Sending you a huge hug and as you've said hope is the one thing that keeps us all going, and while we have that then hopefully we can conquer this battle xxx

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Hugs are appreciated, even virtual ones xx

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Sending love ❤️

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Sending lots of hugs xx

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You are a lovely girl..Always encouraging others. Bless you. I'm praying you will have your hearts desire very soon. Happy Birthday. It should be celebrated ......because you are a blessing to many people.

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Thank you so much xx

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So sorry to hear this. Sending lots of hugs. Xx

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I understand how you feel. No words really just all those emotions it’s so dam hard. But you will keep going forward and you will be a mummy one day. Hope you have lots of support around you.

We are all here for you and try and enjoy your birthday if you can.

The next cycle will be fine and we will all be here for you.

Big hugs xxx❤️

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Thank you I really appreciate your support xx

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Aww April will be a tough month for you but you will get through it lovely. Sorry to hear that life has been so cruel in recent years, surely time for your happy ending soon. Take care xxx

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Thanks xx

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Sending big hugs lovely xxxx

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Thank you xx

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Sending you love and big hugs. Stay strong I’m sure it will be your turn soon🤞🏻

Happy birthday beautiful 😍😘x

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Just discovered an ex on fb (on my friends list) who has been in a relationship with a girl for a year and a half and has a daughter already from a previous relationship and she already has three daughters is now having twins with her! I’ve been trying for three years!! I’ve been trying longer than they’ve even known each other. It’s so unfair!! 😡😡😡 😢😢😢 😩

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Unfortunately life is so unfair!😔 when I lost mine I was thinking there are lots of people out there that they don’t even deserve to have a baby they using drugs alchohol their whole life and they don’t even care about their babies but nothing we can do really😔. Do something nice for yourself today,it’s your birthday so stay positive and celebrate your B-Day with your OH❤️😘

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Such a kick in the teeth. My ex also had twins with a girl he'd known for a year. The worst part is they went out for 6 months, split up for 6 months. She fell pregnant after he started sleeping with her again. Whilst he was seeing someone else...They split when the twins were a year old. So unfair. Hope you're ok. Xx

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Yea my ex husband actually has two children now with his fiancée and she fell pregnant within three months of them dating with the first. We’d been trying since before they got together too. I’m ok. Just wasn’t expecting to see that on Facebook last night as this ex boyfriend had told me he didn’t want anymore children and his fiancée already has three girls too so between them now they’ll have six children. It is a kick in the teeth especially when you’re already feeling a bit down. He’s been hidden from my newsfeed.. it’s just not fair is it?! When do we get our turn?! xx

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Nope, not fair at all. It was a good idea to remove the ex from your newsfeeed - you dont need to see that. I have been finding myself thinking a lot over the past 2 days about how unfair it all is and can feel myself getting anxious. Trying not to let it get to me but it's hard. I hope we get our turn soon. I really do! Xx

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It’s so difficult not to get really bitter and angry about the injustice of it all. Good luck to you and fingers crossed for you 🤞 xx

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hey!! At 20, I wouldn't have required IVF to get pregnant. Around then I was doing all that I could to prevent it from happening. I could have picked an existence that included early parenthood however, it would have made a wreck of my vocation and I would have missed those character-building encounters, such as venturing to the far corners of the planet. I don't lament a thing. My recommendation to families experiencing an indistinguishable affair from me is to offer yourself a reprieve. I constrained my better half and me into consecutive IVF rounds since I was terrified to the point that my "progressing maternal age" was the greatest issue. What wound up happening is my body quit reacting to the medicine and we expected to take increasingly elevated measurements to develop the eggs. Any individual who has done IVF realizes that the higher the solution measurement, the lower the egg quality. Your body and your mind require a break in the middle of cycles to get off the passionate and physical exciting ride Besides, I energize any individual who has encountered IVF inability to make more inquiries, push for additional testing, and in case you're not 100 percent happy with your facility at that point change. At long last, endeavor to dependably keep giggling in your relationship. The two accomplices feel the agony amid richness treatment

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I’m so sorry for the losses truly heartbreaking 💔 we never forget and anniversaries will always be painful reminders of what could’ve been 😭 my due would’ve been tomorrow and all I want to do is hide from the world ; it just reminds me of what we’ve lost 💔

I wish I had better words of comfort. I so wish us all not to have to suffer so much; it breaks my heart to see wonderful ladies here struggling to have something most will take for granted and it angers me for us all nine of us deserve this 😡 it’s so cruel and unfair especially to get so close and have it taken away 😭

I guess it resonates our desire to have children; that’s what gives us our strength to keep going ❤️ and of course there has to be some hope. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I truly hope you are blessed with your rainbow baby and all this becomes a distant painful memory xoxo

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Thank you. Hopefully one day, if not a distant memory, it will all just pale into insignificance for us all xx

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Happy birthday Vicky. Sending love and hugs your way xxx

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Thanks Amanda xx

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Happy birthday Vicky. My first pregnancy had a due date of my 39th birthday, it was very hard. I hope you have some lovely things planned to make the most of what you do have in your life even though your biggest desire has not arrived yet. Xx

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I had work all day but I’ve made the best of it and my OH is cooking rissoto, which he only cooks on special occasions. He may even forgo watching Liverpool play tonight lol xx

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Happy birthday lovely. I trust you and hubby are doing something wonderful together xx

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He’s cooking so that’s always lovely, mainly because it doesn’t happen that often lol. Thank you xx

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Happy birthday 😘 will keep my fingers crossed for your future 🤞🏼 xxx

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Thank you xx

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