At 41, are we mad to seek a sibling for our son through IVF with my own eggs?

I know that there is a lot of ‘luck’ in IVF but having recently turned 41 I am grappling with when (and if) to stop trying for baby #2. I have endometriosis but other than that for our ages my partner and me score well on the usual fertility metrics. Age is likely to be our biggest obstacle now!

My IVF history is below.

Once I recover from my recent MMC I was thinking of either doing a fresh IVF cycle with genetic testing or simply transferring our remaining 2 untested frozen blastocysts back. I think we have the energy and emotional strength to try another 2 cycles of IVF. However, I worry due to my age that we may well be wasting our time. I’m not sure I want to go down the donor route. What would you do if you were me?

Also, I would love to hear from any other ladies over 40 about their paths to success with their own eggs? I don’t want to give up prematurely, and worry that what I need to do is simply accept that this time it may take longer due to my age.

Thanks for reading and listening, x

Ps seeing my fertility doc next week, but recognise much of the decision making is ultimately ours.

——————

Age 39 - IVF #1 yielded 7 blasts (from 14 mature eggs). I’ve had 2 MMC and my son from this cycle with 1 day 6 blast in the freezer. All were FETs due to overstimulation.

Age 40 - IVF #2 yielded 4 blasts (from 13 mature eggs). We had these and 2 day 7 blasts genetically tested and all were genetically abnormal.

Age 41 - IVF #3 yielded 1 blast (from 10 mature eggs). This is genetically untested and in the freezer.

[Kempton]

My hubby's aunt conceived her second naturally at 41. It's not exactly like your situation but it's definitely her egg! He's a strapping young lad now. If you are healthy, why not go for it! Wishing you lots of luck.

[Jaygee]

I have no idea On this subject but my mother had me at 41 with her own eggs and I’m perfectly healthy 😁 have you had AMH tested?

[Hidden in reply to Jaygee]

Yes, I keep telling myself that exact same thing. Many women (including friends) have and are conceiving at my age. It’s just annoying I need the emotional and financially draining IVF route to achieve it!

I did get my AMH tested in April and it was 21.7 which I think is okay for my age?! To be honest it was tested 3 years ago and it was 22.5 so I am assuming either it was bad to start with and/or ageing isn’t impacting it too much?!

[Jaygee in reply to Hidden]

For your age that’s very good! I would be very happy with that! I feel the same. Frustrates me how we have to spend thousands to get a baby and others have hen and don’t even want them 😒 life is very cruel!

[Hidden in reply to Jaygee]

Thank you! You’ve made my night 👍🏼. I guess I just hope the quality is there somewhere. Needle in a haystack and all that...

[Kiers27]

Hey Mogwai, whereabouts are you based?

Im over 40 and have embarked on the IVF journey, we are hopefully about to do egg transfer ... all being well.

There are a few success stories on here from older ladies.

Hope you get to a good decision for you next week. Keep us posted. Good luck.

Xx

[Hidden in reply to Kiers27]

Wishing you all the best. I live in London.

[Kiers27 in reply to Hidden]

You too ....

I asked where you were as I was also interested in the testing that you have done ... not sure my clinic tests blasts before transferring them.

I know nothing about this ... wha this the process called? Xx

[Hidden in reply to Kiers27]

Will send you a direct message once I’ve had my dinner. Don’t think we’re allowed to share clinic names etc on here but I know of a few places that do testing.

[emma2739]

Hi there. It’s a tough one but I think the best advice is to do what feels right for you. The principle we have followed was that at the end we could look back and say that at least we tried everything and after 10 years I think we actually have tried almost everything!

So if you have the frozen embryo in the freezer maybe transfer it as there is always a chance it will take and that would be wonderful. You have done the hard bit by collecting the eggs and if it doesn’t work you can think about DE then, you will have lots of time for DE. For me the good thing about Donor egg is it’s only another transfer and not the whole IVF routine which felt very hard going to me.

But overall you need trust your gut feel, sending the very best of luck to you

[Hidden in reply to emma2739]

Emma,

I’m thrilled for you that you are now expecting. I didn’t experience the journey you have and even then it felt like a miracle. Just enjoy every moment and try to put aside any fears. Easier said than done I know!

Thanks for your message. I think you are right that we need to get to our end point. I think I know what that is, but if we get there without success then I may feel differently. In the meantime I just need to remain hopeful I guess!

[Trying1234]

Go for it hon!!! You have done the hard egg collection work already!

Good luck xxxx

[Muppetgirl]

I'm now 45 and 24 weeks pregnant with my own eggs.

[SharlyWarly]

I hear you! but you have one already waiting for you, even without any testing, I would personally go for it. I'm 42 and my partner is 58, there are other couples out there who are 'older'. I am on down regulation at the moment, trying for a sibling for our 2 year old daughter. I've never had any embryos tested prior to implantation but then we never had many to chose from, and never any blastos. I'm not sure how testing works, is it done before or after freezing? Even if it's done before freezing I would still say go for it, if it doesn't work then you can move on without wondering 'would that one have worked?'.

I had a miscarriage which I'm pretty sure is because of the two we had implanted, one was only a 4-cell and the other had fragments - I'm sure this was down to my age. It was really awful, but I don't regret trying and we will try again.

Best of luck to you x

[Hidden in reply to SharlyWarly]

Thank you and good luck on your journey. It’s been heartwarming to hear of all us ladies over 40 going through this and more importantly having success.

Have you always been down-regulated with IVF? I was with my first cycle but the last two were short-protocol. The justification I got was that for ‘older patients’ short is better. Previous to this, the justification for the long protocol was that it gave them ‘more control’.

I don’t know whether to push for long-protocol if / when we go again? 🤷🏻‍♀️ It may make little difference...

[SharlyWarly in reply to Hidden]

Yes, all four cycles so far (2 where when i was 38). Actually, I wish I knew more about this as I didn't question it when my clinic suggested this time that I continue on with a long protocol, but I had heard too that for older ladies often the short protocol is followed. I can't really offer any advice on this I'm sorry.

[Hidden]

Hi! I am 42 and currently 28 weeks pregnant with twins! I started IVF in March and I was so fortunate to get pregnant on my first go. My embryos were not tested cos my clinic was really against testing the embryos unless there are some genetic disease in the family - my consultant said it is not safe for the embryos. I know different clinics believe in different things.

At the beginning of my IVF journey I was told that time was not on my side but hey I go there quick!

My advise to you is go with 100% conviction that you will get there! Don’t doubt or give up on it!

Good luck!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much and congratulations! That’s wonderful news.

It’s reassuring to hear about the number of women in my age peer group that are having success. It makes me question if I am a lost cause!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Stay positive! 👍🙏❤️

[Hidden]

And if your frozen embryo is a blastocyst, it’s a very good start!!

[articsnowfox]

I'm 43 years old and 9 weeks pregnant with an embryo from my own eggs.. There were 3 things that seemed to improve my blastocyst quality: 1) taking micronised DHEA 75 mg/day for 3 months, 2) early egg retrieval-when the lead follicle reached between 16 and 18mm, and 3) starting on a low stims dose and slowly increasing - this might be specific to me though as I had a very good outcome blastocyst-wise with an earlier ivf cycle on low doses...good luck!

[Hidden in reply to articsnowfox]

Congratulations! I’m really interested in your protocol and the DHEA supplement if you don’t mind.

Were you given the latter due to ovarian reserve or simply age? The former is not an issue for me, but the latter might justify my taking it?!

Also, can you let me know the meds / quantities you we’re taking during stim as this is something I may discuss with my Consultant. My previous cycles have involved 150iui menopur (or equivalent) in the morning and 75iui Gonal F in the evening. The dose being tweaked downwards occasionally to help follicles grow at a uniform rate. I am told this is ‘low dose’ but I guess it’s all relative to how your body responds to the meds.

Please do message me direct if you prefer.

Many thanks!

[articsnowfox in reply to Hidden]

Hi there, I was given it for age...even though my ovarian reserve is also great for my age, the first ivf round for no. 2 was so much worse compared to the one that gave us our son, so even tho I have lots of eggs left, they're just too old...but there is a ton of difference between 41 and 43 years, so hopefully you would still be fine..but I would still take it at your age to be on the safe side I think from memory I started off at 175 iu (gonal f) for 4 days, then 200 iu for 4 days and then 225 iu for 3 days.. But I would also talk to your doc about early retrieval..older eggs undergo something called premature luteinisation - they become overripe, resulting in worse egg quality. There is a clinic in New York (CFI) that specialises in older women (that sounds weird ) and they have a bunch of info on their website about early retrieval, DHEA, and also another supplement called Coenzyme Q10 which helps with the parts of the egg that generate energy (and which work less well in older women and are thought to be another reason why ivf is so challenging in older women). One final thing I forgot to recommend before is human growth hormone...it basically reverses ovarian aging. It's expensive but something I will definitely consider if this pregnancy doesn't work out...

[Hidden in reply to articsnowfox]

This is super helpful. Thank you. I was at risk of OHSS on all 3 of my IVF cycles (and indeed got it due to becoming pregnant on my first) suggesting there is a possibility of risk of overripe eggs for me.

I am currently pumping myself full of the supplements recommended by CCRM in the states where my friend got treatment (they’re last chance saloon apparently). It doesn’t include DHEA but I’ll throw it into the mix. Can’t hurt right?! It does include CoQ10 though. I’m taking that in industrial strength.

I took all this for IVF cycle 1 but not 2 and 3 (got complacent possibly). So taking it again while waiting to get my period and generally recover from my recent MMC.

The fun never stops!

Thanks again!

[articsnowfox in reply to Hidden]

No problem, and good luck!