I've not posted on here for a while, purely out of worry and not wanting to tempt fate and at least try to get past the 7-8 wk mark, but as the post states, I had my first Doner Egg transfer on 23rd Feb of 2x day 6 blasts after convincing the clinic to let me have a more natural cycle which did work and my lining for Upto 7mm which is good for me and much better than the previous 3 months which was all medicated. By test day, it was a very strong positive and repeat bloods showed very high HCG levels. I was convinced it was twins and think the clinic thought the same. Went in for a scan at 6wk 3 days which showed one sac and embryo with a very strong heartbeat and all measuring bang on. Got pics/videos etc, my mind was eased a little but had booked in for another scan today as we planned on telling our family over a meal this Sunday where I would have been 8wks. No-one knew about this round, other than a few friends I have made on here, and tbh is has been lovely as me and hubby have been in our own little bubble. Another reason we needed the tell the family was my hubby was excepted onto the liver transplant list last week and we can expect a call literally anytime so thought we needed to let them know to ease any stress when it happens. So the clinic scanned me today for it to reveal it died at 6wk5days, so 2 days after my last scan. This is very similar time to my last one which was a natural pregnancy 3 years ago. I feel so numb and thought with using DE that we may have overcome this hurdle as always been told it must be my Eggs. Whereas looks like it's just my body rejecting.
I've got to come off all meds (wean of the steriods) and if not bled by next Tuesday be referred to local EPU, of which I have such sad and bad memories of that place. I know what's coming and it knocks me sick. I don't know wether to cry/scream, but just feel exhausted. My gut feeling has never been wrong when it comes to this and I've felt different since Monday. Sounds crude to say, but even my nipples changed, last week they were getting bigger and slowly darker, this week they started lightening and going back to their normal 'state'.
Now just more waiting and more uncertainty...and now I'm slowly beginning to think that this is never going to work 😢 I've got 2x 5 day blasts left from this round and lots of thinking time ahead 😢
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baby2016
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Thank you Penders. I know you've been here yourself. Missed miscarriages are just so cruel aren't they. It's like your body really wants to be pregnant and is trying its hardest and something fights against it. How are things with you? Xx
Oh baby2016, I’m so so sorry to read your post. After what must have been such joy at your strong positive, to go through this again is devastating for you. There are no words, it’s just so sad and so unfair. Sending you much love and strength to cope with the days ahead. Xxxx
I’m struggling a bit, a colleague announced her pregnancy last week and a friend had a new baby. We are still no further forward with deciding what to do next 😞 hope you are getting all the support you need this weekend. Xxx
Aw Ava, sounds like your having a difficult time abs baby announcements can be so hard. I'm godparent to my nieces christening next Sunday who was born on my 40th last November. I was hoping to be 9wks pregnant, but know it's going to be such a hard day now.
Have you got some options your exploring or just seeing how things go. Sending you a huge hug xx
We are slowing coming round to facing up to the discussion about what to do next. I think we’ll do one more cycle with own eggs as we paid for it in a multi cycle package, after that I think we’ll move to donor eggs as I’m 42. It’s so hard that you have a christening next weekend. I hope all involved are sensitive to your situation - wishing you the strength to cope with it but please look after yourself and put yourself first with what your body is going through. Xxx
Thank you AVA, and sending you so much luck for your next round, it makes perfect sense for you to carry on if it's already paid for, I'd do exactly the same. Xx
I’m so sorry to read your news, just devastating. As if you guys haven’t been through enough. There are no words that can ease the pain at this difficult time, sending you the biggest of hugs 😘😘 xxx
Thanks Hannah. I hope all is going well with your pregnancy. People like you give me hope to carry on and maybe one of them will stick the long term xx
Yes thank you hun, so far so good. I’m so grateful every day as I still can’t quite believe that it’s happening after all this time.
The next few days and weeks are going to be the pits and my heart goes out to you. I pray to give you the strength to get through each day. 😘. Some day, when you’re through the dark days you will be ready to pick yourself up and go again, this is the hope and light that will keep you fighting, never give up, it will happen my lovely.
Aw thanks Hannah, tbh I've been a bit numb these last few days, like non of it, even ET transfer ever happened. Kept really busy as it's sitting doing nothing when my mind goes wild. So glad to hear everything is going well and keep us all posted 😊xx
I had another massive bleed on Sunday evening with it pouring out but I’ve been told to expect more with the size clot I have! Baby is ok thank you for asking. Thinking of you xxxxx
Aw Lian, it must be panicking when this happens 😬 but least you know what's causing it. I hope it soon settles down for you, take care and get those trotters up and rest! Xx
I’m so so sorry for your loss my lovely. The process is very difficult. I had similar great bloods, perfect scan and within 24 hours miscarried. I couldn’t believe how everything was so perfect then bang it’s over. I was told that the bloods and scans only show what is happening at that time 😢😢. It terrifies me as we draw strength and comfort through each stage by the results so I don’t know what to take comfort from in the future other than just hope.
I hope you get lots of love and support and your husband gets a speedy transplant. Sounds like an awful lot for you both. Thinking of you both. Hugs xxx
Thank you for your reply Snuggles. It's so gutting isn't it for everything to change so quickly.
I've just read your recent post....i was on steriods (prednisolone) clexane, and lubion this cycle. Have been on steriods and clexane for my last 4 transfers. Funny enough I am going to ask about intralipids at my follow up to see if that's the answer.
My theory this cycle was to transfer 2, with the theory that of both take then if my NK cells kick in there might not be enough of them to kill of both embryos, leaving one to develop. This cycle only 1 stuck and my plan next time will be to transfer both and see about intralipids and see if that helps. Just hate all this constant waiting while life just keeps passing me by. And now I'm going to worry that transplant will be looming more and more the further time goes on xx
Thanks Tugs. I've thought about you a lot this cycle as we both had transfers on the same day and I was gutted for your otd post. Interestingly this was my own cycle (cycle 5) where I had zero symptoms other than 2x quick stabbing pains on my left side on about day 7. I really thought it had not worked. I actually felt amazing and I know you said about keeping a 2ww diary, but this was the only one I hadn't as there was nothing to put in it, but I'm glad I didn't as when I read back through my other others it seems to be the ones I had more symptoms with I got bfn and I just think your body tricks you with everything. This round was less drugs, but similar to you and have somehow managed to get away with no bruises on my stomach with the clexane/Lubion due to working out they are much easier to do if you get the angle of the needle right.
I hope all is ok with you....go with the clinic you get the best gut feeling with xx
Thank you. Still toying with the idea of staying at our clinic.. no rush I guess..
I have been the opposite in that on my two bfps I felt like I was getting my period big time but not on my bfns. I’ll try to bear it in mind for next time that there aren’t always symptoms in view of your post and what some of the other ladies told me. You were lucky not to bruise as the Heparin made me bruise badly. My OH does injections so I’ll mention the angle thing to him for future reference.
Weirdly I found it hurt more if I injected in my left side, so stayed more on the right, with a 45 degree angle and just did the clexane really quick once the needle was it, lubion takes a bit longer though doesn't it! 😩
I can see see the pros for staying with your current clinic. I found it hard moving when we went private and having to prove all my medical issues etc and going over everything again, far easier if they already know the full previous history picture.
They say ever pregnancy is different, so makes sense every 2ww is too. I just stick to temping now as gives me a much clearer pic, but can drive you crazy if you temp starts to drop! I'm one of those that would rather know than not know, and had been testing from day 8 this time and getting good positives then. Amazing how each round varies.
Thanks for your kind words. Positivity and hope will overcome and we'll both get their eventually 👍🏻xxx
I was driving myself crazy the first time with the tests only to come to the realisation that they weren’t any indication of what had happened so on the next bfp I only did a few. Every stage of this journey can drive you crazy if you let it 😞 xx
I feel your pain today I found out at 9 weeks my baby died and it's the furthest I've gotten. I'm having a D&C on tues to remove it but I feel your pain. Here for you if you need me xx
Aw crown ping pong 😢😢 it was 9 weeks when I found out with my first MMC. It's so devastating isn't it, and so many dreams and plans have already been made for little one at this stage. Sending you a huge hug and try and stay positive for the future, as much as MMC are rare, lots of ladies on here sadly experience them and go on to get long last bfp's xx
Aww my lovely, I'm so so sorry to hear your news!! I've been thinking about you loads recently. Words won't mean much to you but know that I'm thinking of you both at this utterly devastating time.😢 Sending you huge hugs xxxx
Aww thank you Cinders 😢 DE gives you that extra chance of hope and then when it happens with them it's gutting. How are things with you? Did you make a decision re intralipids? As I'm going to ask about this when eventually my followup happens. I'm on all the other drugs so want to give this a go if I can too. Xx
I am defo doing intralipids...if we ever get to transfer! My bloods have been all over the shop. My thyroid was a bit raised along with my prolactin. I've just had bloods done and they're both better but not right yet. Had a mini melt down on Friday wondering if we'll ever get to transfer as clinic want everything to be right understandably. So trying to be more positive again now, I've joined the gym and hoping to lose some weight!!💪xx
And well done re the positive thinking! It helped me loads this cycle being in that mindset and I'm convinced losing the weight, bring healthier and having a better mindset helped massively is getting the bfp! Xx
Awwwww hun. I'm really sorry for your loss truly is heartbreaking be kind to yourselves. We're all here for you. Lots of hugs and love been sent your way 💗🤗😘
Aw thank you. I hope everything's progressing well with your little baba. It's so stressful isn't it, and hoping all goes well for the rest of your pregnancy xx
Thanks Cocker. I'm just trying to think of the positives and least things we're working, and it's the furthest I've got in 3 years, non of my ivf cycles have got this far, it was naturally when I last experienced this horrible situation. How are things with you? Are you progressing with DE? Xx
Awww bless you, your such a strong lady. This is all a cruel process ☹.
I'm not too bad, DE has come to a full stop at moment though as I'm on treatment for depression, ( not just ivf had hassles at work too) so I'm just concentrating on getting my head in a good place and loosing weight. I'm hoping to get back on the wagon about July.
Aw Cocker, sounds like you've had a rough few months, but def sounds like your doing the right thing and getting yourself ready for July. Honestly, my dog and dieting are what completely changed my mindset this time as after my 40th in Nov and 3 cancelled cycles due to lining issues I was struggling. I joined weight watchers (their app is amazing) and starred power walking with my dog. Gave up all alcohol, and the difference I felt within a month was amazing. I've lost 21lb now since Xmas and ideally want to lose another 1/2 stone - stone, so after this crappy next few weeks that will be what I throw my focus back into. I hope come July your feeling much better xxx
Wow 21 lb since Christmas is amazing 😊 well done, I've got about 14lb off but then I cheat and put a bit on then loose it again 🤣. I need about another stone off, I think I need to borrow some of your will power.
I haven't been drinking because of anti depressants and haven't really missed it so far any way.
Fingers crossed your remaining frosties do the trick, this journey is so tough for all of us but I admire your fight you have and postive attitude Xx
I am so, so sorry for your loss, there are literally no words. Sending you lots of love & strength to get through this difficult time. Xxxx
Sending you lots of luck for your upcoming FET, think positive, and stay as calm as possible. We went to my favourite pub for lunch after mine then to the cinema to watch coco (kids film) but it made me feel really good and happy as a nice message inside it, and had such a relaxed day and will be doing exactly the same next time round! Xx
Aw thanks Button. I was thinking of you today as I remember your first cycle getting a bfp which sadly didn't progress and now look at you 😊 that beacon of hope for all. I hope your settling in like a duck to water with motherhood xxx
Aww have settled in a treat thanks. Yes it’s certainly not easy going through what your going through, I am here if you need anything and hopefully a follow up will give you some answers. Sending lots of love xxx
We know that the next route is likely to be DE, but we have just had a bit of a break thinking about IVF, whilst we have our house extended and family being in poor health...never a dull moment and would have been too stressful to add treatment onto the list too!
We will get there one day 💛 🌈
Oh Baby2016 I’m devastated for you; there really are no words. So sorry for your loss.I had one early loss last year and I know how hard it is to pick yourselves up afterwards . Thinking of you and wishing your hubby well; what a tough time you are having 😔 xoxo p.s I just edited it as I realised you have been to Tommy’s xoxo
Thanks Jess. TBH think I've had every test going 😢 and although some have been positive results even with the right drugs still can't seem to get it to work.
I hope all is ok with you, I know you've had a hard journey too xx
I’m so very sorry. It’s so cruel. Thinking of you both. X
Oh I'm so sorry to read this. You really have been through it. You sound like a very strong woman and have had so much to deal with. Sending you lots of love and strength xxx
Thanks Becky and a huge congrats on your bfp. Here's to a long and happy pregnancy 😊 don't know if it's that I'm really strong or have simply become numb to this whole process which helps with getting through it all. Either way what ever it is it keeps me going somehow! Xx
Thanks Claire. I see that your having a very hard time too. I hope somehow something can be sorted for you and you can do another round xx
Just read this, I am so sorry, really, it must be incredibly exhausting and discouraging... and sad, and many other things that cannot be put into words. I send you a big virtual hug in support, hang in there, and take good care of yourself, you really deserve it. Warm wishes xx
Aw thank you for your kind words Vanna. I can see from your post that you have issues with lining. Please read my previous posts re this, as had my transfer cancelled 3 months on the trot because of this. Went more natural, and started accupuncture, along with losing 21lbs since Xmas and walking 20miles a week and managed to get upto 7mm which was better than the 4/5mm I was getting when fully medicated xx
Definately! Although not looking forward to hubbys transplant after he nearly died last year with his bowel op. Don't think I'm destined to have a 'normal' life. Keep up that fighting spirit of yours xx
Completely hear you. Everything is sent to try us. Mr Emu’s mum will be having chemo while we have treatment... normal is just not here! Here’s wishing hubby and you lots luck with the transplant and recovery xx
Thanks Debbie, can see your about to start on the DE journey, so want to send you so much luck, if you have any questions then please PM, although I'm using a clinic in the UK but will advise where I can xx
Have you looked into testing for nk cells? We're you on prednisolone, clexane or intralipids? Have you had any immune testing done?
I would ask for level one miscarriage bloods on the NHS then arrange to get nk cells checked. They typically cause miscarriages around 6-7 weeks.
Big hugs and good luck with your investigation. I have two friends in real life with histories of recurrent miscarriages. Both did immune protocols and now have children. Please don't give up.
If your clinic are unsure about things try either the recurrent miscarriage clinic in London ( friend one ) or penny at serum in Athens ( friend two and lots of folk I know online). She will support treatment at other clinics or natural pregnancies ( Hope I am ok giving that information. If not sorry).
I've pretty much to my knowledge had all tests. I do have high NK cells, and sticky blood so for my last few cycles have been on prednisone and clexane. The only thing I've not had is intralipids which I'm going to ask about for next time.
In relation to the immune testing, if it was that I was positive for these tests is the treatment the steriods/clexane/intralipids? As sounds bad to say but I wouldn't pay for those tests if I know the meds would be the same as what I'm on now if that makes sense? Or is it that there's different meds available?
Hi, there are different meds that are used too - ivig( pooled and partners) , humira and neuprogen wash - as well as the pred clexane and intralipids.
It is a tricky area as some drs don't believe in it at all. But I think , given the uterus is an immunologically privileged zone ( ie the immune system has to work differently there than elsewhere in the body ) it only makes sense that things can sometimes go wrong. X x
Aw Cinders, I wonder what's causing the issues with your levels. I hope they can get to the bottom of it soon or they level themselves out soon. As much as it's frustrating least they are firm on having the optimal environment which will hugely increase chances.
I'm def going to ask about intralipids for next time but not sure if my clinic does them. There's not much more I can try to be fair. Xx
My mum has an underactive thyroid which started in her forties and it hereditary so I guess it's just starting with me but on levothyroxine now. Dr Google says that having hypothyroidism can cause high prolactin and once thyroid is down prolactin will follow. Just all a bit frustrating but yes you're correct want it all to be right for transfer. Always worth an ask re intralipids sweetie. Hope you're looking after yourself and being looked after!!😚xxx
I am really sorry about your condition. Pregnancy came as a hope but miscarriage ruined it. It is really heartbreaking to have a baby and then lose it so early. Although this does not mean that you will have a miscarriage again. If you have any concerns and apprehensions it is better to get yourself checked properly. This will help you find the major reason. Miscarriage happens because of several reasons. It can be some serious reason and can be a minor accident. hormonal disturbances can also lead to tormenting results. Hormones play a pivotal role in the reproductive development of the fetus. If you want to prevent this from happening again, it is better to visit the doctor soon. There are several tests that are conducted to find out the major reasons. Once the post MC screening and tests are completed it becomes possible to know that what happened. This ultimately leads to the safer pregnancy in the future. I hope you have the best in life soon.
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Not good news at today's scan - another miscarriage
Missed Miscarriage 
Missed Miscarriage - next steps
Missed miscarriage - devastating 
