Not good news at today's scan - another miscarriage

Feeling pretty empty right now.. After a hazy, not-very-clear scan at the fertility clinic, I was sent over to the early pregnancy clinic to wait an hour and a half to be told it is another miscarriage. By the looks of it, it stopped developing only about 4-5 days ago and there was no pulse and at 7wks3days that's the end.

Feeling very sad and especially for my hubby who has no children of his own. It was so hard for him being with me today (he wasn't there for my last miscarriage scan last time I had IVF) because of course he didn't understand the grey and white blobs on the ultrasound image.

I got home and ordered a pizza and almost ate the whole thing. Then I dove into a packet of wine gums. Out of my system now. Back to the healthy eating tomorrow as I want to drop some weight now. I haven't had any bleeding yet but they've told me it could happen any time in the next few weeks. I have pain killers on hand and this time I'm letting it pass naturally.

We're not having any more IVF now I don't think. We have one embryo on ice but it isn't very good quality so probably no point in having a FET. Also, at 39 the odds are so low that we'll actually end up with a successful outcome. At least we tried. I feel like we did everything we possibly could so I have no regrets about going through the process.

Thanks to you all for your words of support and comfort while I was stressing (turns out I was right to be stressed!). Wishing you all baby dust and happiness and acceptance if it doesn't work out for you XXX

35 Replies

  • So so sorry 😢Xxxxx

  • My goodness sorry won't cut it but massive hugs xx

  • Oh I've only just read this, I am so so sorry. Thinking of you and sending love xxx

  • Big hugs. X

  • I'm so sorry to read this. So unfair. Take care of yourself x x x

  • I am so sorry. x

  • Sending lots of love and hugs xx

  • Hugs x

  • Oh I'm so sorry to read this, I went through this twice, and 6 weeks ago was most recent so still raw, so unfair and painful, I also think you did well to just have one night munch and back on healthy eating, I been bad Eating and drinking for weeks, just joined weight watchers to try get in check. Take some time for you...hear for you and sending bug hugs xxx

  • So sorry for you. Huge hugs to you and your hubby.

  • I'm really sorry to hear this. I hope you are ok. Sending hugs xx

  • Not what I wanted to read 😢 I really feel for you especially 2nd time round, life is so cruel and unfair. Thinking of you xxxxxxx

  • I'm so so sorry to hear this. It's just so sad xx

  • I am so sorry to hear you heart breaking news 😢😢xxxxxx

  • So sorry for you both sending you hugs xx

  • Sorry you are experiencing this again. Have you had any thoughts about potentially getting a referral to tommys clinics to see if they can find anything out from this MC? I don't know if they do urgent referrals or if they are near you, but they are trying to help couples who experience one MC and not the three before any checks are made.


  • It is likely to just be just the "normal" reasons - I'm 39 (already 1 in 4 chance of a miscarriage there) and my husband is 53 and I'm hypothyroid - so unfortunately that just increases the odds and there isn't much more that will change that. Thanks for the suggestion though - I hadn't heard of these clinics.

  • Oh Hun I'm so so sorry to hear this, there's nothing anyone can say that will make it better but we'll all be thinking of you on here. Lots of love xx

  • so sorry xx

  • So sorry to hear your sad news, look after yourself!x

  • Just want to say how very sorry i am to hear your news. I was there last year, finding out at 7+ weeks that I had a missed miscarriage. After stopping my pessaries the bleed came about 2 days later and continued for around 9 days. I didn't feel any pain, just a little period cramps.

    Sending you a virtual hug!. Lots of love Jx

  • Thank you and sorry you also went through this. Thank you for describing what I should experience when it passes. I was a little worried because the nurse at the EPC said it was "not like a period" in a bit of a dramatic way.

  • So sorry EmBlazes, sending you hugs. x

  • So sorry to read you have had to go through this again. Heartbreaking 💔 I'm 38 nearly 39 too and have now been diagnosed with high nk cells which they think could have caused my lossses. Now on steriods for it on my 1st round of ivf. Maybe you should consider being tested for it. As much as you are heartbroken you still have one littlr frozen embie there, don't give up hope, that one may be the magic one! Big hugs xx

  • I can empathise with your hubby. My charge is nearly 11 and my boss's partner loves her like his own, but I so wanted him to be a biological dad to their own baby. I can kind of understand your feelings. After I lost my twins in my 2nd trimester at the age of 44, I just knew I couldn't put my body through that again. Sending love and Angel dust xx

  • That must have been devastating for you. My hubby is so lovely about it saying that he'd already accepted he wouldn't have children of his own but I so wanted him to be able to experience that XX

  • So sorry. I haven't experienced a loss like yours but I think I am also decidiing to leave it now. X

  • I am so so sorry to read this :( I wish I could do or say something to help, but thinking of you. Don't make any decisions for a bit just be super kind to yourself without any pressure xxx

  • I'm so sorry to hear this. It feels so unfair and the shock is awful.

    There's no need to make decisions right now. We decided to cease treatment after our 3rd BFN but I'm a bit older. Personally if I had a frostie I would be prepared to have FET, but we never had anything to freeze. Only you and you other half know what you can put yourself through emotionally, physically and financially.

    I found The Miscarriage Association website and helpline very helpful.

  • So sorry to hear this Em Blazes. Life is so cruel. You must be devastated. But it isn't necessarily the end of the road so after a bit of time maybe have another think about options. 39 isn't beyond hope xx

  • Really sorry and sad to hear this . Big hugs to you XXX

  • Thanks everyone for your kind words of support. Feeling a little better today and trying to be kind to myself. No sign of miscarriage coming away yet but I know it might take some time XXX

  • Sending our love xx

  • I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Thoughts are with you. You are totally correct in that you gave it everything and have no regrets in going through the process. You did try and you were very brave to. A lot of women would not have the strength to go through such procedures.

    I have never got to the stage of being pregnant all of my attempts (14 embryos) have failed so I can only empathise with you and your husband.

    I am trying to figure out if I should try the donor egg route or to just say enough us enough and get on with accepting we will not ave children. It is so hard isn't it.

    Take care


  • I'm so sorry for u, sis. have some time to rest and rehab. this is very unfair of course but still it's not a verdict and you shall keep on trying.

    please take care

    and chin up

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