Fertility Network UK

Worried and uncertain

Hi all. As some of u may know I am expecting to miscarry soon. I am heart broken but starting to come to terms with it ish. Def lot of ok and downs.

What struggling with is the not knowing when it or if it may happen naturally. No signs at mo. Going away today too and so scared it may happen on journey or when there but don’t wanna not go just in case it doesn’t happen. The wait is cruel. Any tips on how to get by and what to poss look out for as signs ?

Sorry to bring a downer to lots of exciting news for lot u but know lot have experienced this too so any input be great.

TIA x

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How many weeks are you?

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Well officially 8 but bean didn’t look like it grew much at all so mostly be the sac I think😕

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Ahh so sorry my dear x

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My miscarriage was only two weeks so I imagine yours would be different. I had period pain and much heavier bleeding than usual so stock up on those pads.

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Hello dreaming. I'm really sorry you're going through this. Miscarriage can be different for everybody For me, my miscarriages started with spotting which then got heavier over 7-10 days. An hour or so before I passed the sac I developed back / stomach pains and then the bleeding got a lot heavier with painful contractions until I passed the sac. Once this had happened the pain and bleeding subsided.

Of course it is different for everybody and I don't want to scare you. I would be prepared with paracetamol, towels for heavy periods, wet wipes etc. And make sure I could be near a bathroom once the intense cramps start.

I'm sorry again for your loss x x

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Thanks for the info let’s hope I get warning of spotting then as least will know it is beginning. Got nothing at mo and considering nothing appeared to develop am surprised that I have had no spotting at all since my test day😩. Sorry for what u had to go through oh never nice a. All so cruel I reck for us all 😢. Thanks

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I don’t have any advice I’m afraid but just to say I feel for you. A little behind you but after our BFP last week we’re coming to terms with the fact this pregnancy won’t progress and now waiting to bleed once the positive tests have faded for good. It’s so hard when you get so far only to have it ripped from under you. I hope it passes quickly for you without too much pain. We will get there, big hugs xxx

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Thanks Hun so sorry u going through it. So unfair after having a bfp a. Like build up then right back down 😔 hope yours passes ok too. I’ve had no spotting or anything so far so just a cruel waiting game 😣. Take good care xx

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Thanks, it is like a cruel waiting game. Irony is this time last week I was starting to spot and dreading seeing anything; now I’m just willing it to appear so I can be done with it but it’s taking its sweet time. Cramping quite badly this morning though. Feeling really angry at the world and sorry for myself. Take care and look after yourself xxx

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Not surprised u angry with the world. Can relate to that. It is not fair n def cruel. Take care hun lots of tlc for u. Hope u got someone with u n it all doesn’t last long. Be thinking of u xx

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Just wanted to say that one of my miscarriages was little more than a period- slightly more cramping and slightly more blood but I was able to get on with my normal life around it. Take super pads and painkillers with you and you may be able to manage ok.

I can imagine it’s awful waiting for it to happen, just rest assured that most miscarriages don’t happen the way they are portrayed in the movies, with gushing blood/overflowing pads etc... if that were to happen then you’d be very unlucky and would need to go into hospital to be taken care of but with any luck you will be able to cope whenever it happens. Xx

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Thank you Hun for this. Got all that to prepare too so that good. Good to know it not like the films I guess that my nightmare at mo the worst case scenario which as said sure rarely happens. Got dreams of it happening on way to holiday on motorway but know silly and prob v unlikely.

Sorry u had to go through it. So many of us have a. Not fair a. Hope u well x

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Might be worth packing a hot water bottle too, then if you do get cramps you’ll be able to use it to help x

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Good idea thank u ☺️

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I'm really sorry you are going through gh this. Everyone is different I was told it could take up to 4 weeks to start. The first time round I was 6 weeks when I found out I'd had a missed miscarriage and it was just a sack. I had no symptoms waited another two weeks and still nothing started no pain or spotting so I decided to have medical management as I was fed up of waiting. The second time round I was 6+5 when I found the pregnancy stopped developing only a few days before. I'd had a bit of spotting this time round. Again I had medical management as I didn't want to wait. It had been a rough couple of weeks with my nan passing so I just wanted it all over. Sorry I'm not much help on how long it will take. I hope that the miscarriage happens quickly for you. Big hugs xxx

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Hi penders. Thank u for this so useful to know. Sounds like what may happen to me at this rate. Got two weeks to see what happens til my next appointment with early pregnancy unit. Prob just go for op if not happened by then as like u don’t think cud wait any longer. Did u go to work n that n just try continue all when u were waiting? Am worried about going to work esp n it starting but feel like this guess no reason to in some ways?? Oh so confusing n cruel. Sorry u had to go through it twice n with ur nan passing too. So cruel and hard. Thank u for this. Xx

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I continued going to work and I must have been going to the toilet every 5 mins thinking it had started. I took the day of medical managent and the day after off but apart from that I went to work. In some ways I wish I had taken more time off afterwards as my head wasn't really in it but it was a good distraction. Xx

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So sorry to hear of your sad news. This time last year I lost too for the 3rd time and I know how awful in every sense of the word it is. As others have already suggested, have ready supplies of painkillers. I would suggest co-codamol or codeine as sometimes cramps can be very intense and painful. Ask the hospital or your gp for these on prescription. A hot water bottle helps with cramps and pain too. Make sure you have someone with you now and get all the support that you need. You need it. The Miscarriage Association is amazing for advice and support. They have a call line, also website advice. Def worth checking out. If you start to bleed and the bleeding gets v heavy as in soaking a pad within an hour go to your local A and E. I am not trying to scare you but want you to be aware of possibility. This happened me last year. I haemorrhaged. I ended up not passing everything in spite of this and needed an emergency d and c. If you do need a d and c if nature doesn't take its course, it is quick and you don't see any tissue etc. PM me if you want to ask anything. Take care. Xo

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P.s. only warning sign for me last year was like brown discharge and watery stuff for a few days then discharge got pink and then it all started-heavy bleeding/clots etc. You may feel light headed,sick too. I know how horrendous it is for you waiting for it all happen. Rest as much as you can, do whatever takes your mind off things-box sets,music,books etc. Don't worry about work. Just get a line from the dr. You will need time after the physical process too. Big hugs. Xo

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Thank you. Good to know. Def clear that all experiences r v diff. Sorry u went through what u have. It not fair a. Hope it all goes smoothly. Am in lush wales at mo but is kinda in middle no where so really hope doesn’t start here. Does sound scary but like all u we strong n can get through it a ☺️

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