Hubby wants a drink 😡

[Littleflower82]

Soooo... it's my sister in laws birthday party on 17th Feb and our egg collection/sperm sample on 5th march. Do u think I am being too harsh telling hubby he can't drink that night? It literally has caused a row tonight 😓 he has a low sperm count but motility and mobility all fine. He thinks I'm over reacting and says it's over 2 weeks before and maybe I am but what do u think? Oh and he doesn't drink often but when he does i know he will enjoy himself that night so it will b more than just a few!!!

[Lilli79]

Hi Littleflower82 i never know the answer to this one! I cut down on drinking for 3 months before ivf, but didn't give up completely. My husband has a drink most weekends but cut down a lot really just because he felt uncomfortable drinking alone (when I wasn't drinking, I mean). We both got a bit drunk on NYE and our EC was on 9th Jan. I know it's that feeling of wanting to do everything you can to make it work, but I felt I was getting stressed too much because I was moaning so much at my husband for drinking. So I just decided to chill....its your decision at the end of the day. We're still at the start of our journey but our cycle did give us a BFP x

[Gingergirl17]

Hey Littleflower82

Don’t let it stress you out too much hun, but I was the same! My other half didn’t have problems with his sperm but he didn’t drink from September till the first drink in my 2 weeks wait which he wasn’t ment to but he’s been working so hard so I told him to let his hair down, if I was you I’d be exactly the same! One or 2 seems harmless but men get the taste for it once they get going unless he sticks too his promise but don’t let it stress you out xxx

[Missb17]

We cut down quite a lot at the end of last year, then we both completely cut out alcohol for January, our cycle started 9th jan.

Hubbys last sample taken in the summer was normal after this he ate really healthy avoided baths and coffee, and took a good multivitamin... then on egg collection day the nurse said his sample was exactly the same quality as the last one.

I had spent the entire Christmas period completely losing it whenever he had a few drinks. We had a few fall outs because I felt like he wasn't putting his all into it.

He kept saying the stress would do us more damage than having a couple of drinks and relaxing. I hate to admit it but I think he was right.

As long as your hubby takes it easy and just has a couple he should be ok?

Xx

[Lilli79 in reply to Missb17]

I'd agree Missb17 I can't believe how much healthier myself and my OH are since this time last year - less drinking, healthier food, taking supplements, cut out all chemicals and my husband stopped smoking (I have never smoked). But when we went in for tests, his sample was EXACTLY the same! So frustrating! Obviously nice that we both feel much healthier but a slight improvement would have been nice 😕

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

My husband didn’t want to stop drinking for a stag do on our second round, so he didn’t. This time round (our third), he has taken it much more seriously as he really doesn’t want another failure. He stopped for weeks beforehand, and we have had more embryos get to blast than ever before. I found he really had to come to the decision himself, but I think it’s really worth it. I’m sorry I can’t help more but just to say it might be worth an argument if it stops him drinking.

[cupcakesparkles83]

I think if he doesn't regularly drink then one night out probably won't hurt, but you can't be too carful so I Googled it and found this, which makes for an interesting read. I think perhaps ask him to really limit his intake if he absolutely has to drink that evening

myfertilityfocus.com/alcoho...

Oh, and I don't think you're being harsh

[Littleflower82 in reply to cupcakesparkles83]

Ok I'm def showing him this article, thank you x

[cupcakesparkles83 in reply to Littleflower82]

You're welcome x

[Littleflower82]

Thanks ladies. My hubby has stopped smoking 2 years now and I am proud of him for that. He has cut down on drinking loads too, we both have, we only had a night out on the 8th Jan an nothing since so I know this one night should prob do no harm, I'm not goin to drink an I suppose maybe if his sperm count was normal range i wouldn't mind as much but I'm worried this one night will effect as our ec and sperm sample just 2 weeks later. I think it's the fact that he adamant he drinking this one night that has pissed me off after us paying £4300.

[Elizabeth86]

Hello! My husband had a lads weekend planned but was told at our nurse consultation not to go (prob easier than just me saying it!) she said one or two drinks would be fine but no binge drinking for 3 months before (due to sperm production). I think the main thing is that you are both on the same page and not feeling stressed. Your anxiety levels are so much more important than a couple of beers! Best of luck xx

[Squeak2]

We were told no drinking from before start of treatment. xx

[Warmheart]

Dear Little flower,

It's such an anxious time I know, I had the same thoughts when my husband went away on a Ski weekend with some of his male friends a few days before his Sperm collection. Obviously not being there I couldn't police the situation! He did drink but we agreed it was no more than a couple of drinks and no spirits. I also spoke to his/our friends about why and the importance of him not getting hammered! He continued with his multivitamin I also got a supplement called "Horny Goats Weed" from Holland and Barratt and "Super Greens" suppliment as in when skiing it's all cheese, wine and French bread lol... anyway just sample was fine and we had 2 embryos transferred 7 days ago now....so trying now to manage the 2Wk Wait!!

None of this is easy sometimes finding what you feel comfortable with as a team is best.

Xkeep strong, warmheart X

[Marta37]

Hi little flower,

I think you are not over-reacting. You want to give it the best shot and know you gave both done your best. Also you have been probably been inflicting your body with injections and drugs for weeks so it is only fair that he does this little sacrifice. Apologies for being so blunt - this is what I told my hubby. Best of luck for your cycle XX

[Kari55]

I think couple of drinks won’t make any difference but he shouldn’t drink more than that especially that it will be so close to the EC. Both of you are going through this, not only you. X

[bluewanderlust]

Hi, can fully understand how you feel. Sperm quality is affected by everything you do for 3 months. Tell him he can knock himself out once sperm sample has been provided xx

[vansoire]

My husband had a sperm sample taken in July and his count was 4 million so it was the ICSI route for us. He took the view that as long as there were a few to chose from then there wasn’t a right lot he could do. He drank all summer, had hot tubs, saunas & steam rooms 3 times a week and had a relaxing summer.

Come transfer time in November, his count had miraculously increased to 13 million. Sperm can be fickle and I think enjoying yourself and not getting stressed is the most important thing! Ultimately it didn’t matter that it had increased as they only needed 1 for ICSI and they picked a good one - we are now 14 weeks pregnant!

Good luck! 🤞🍀

[SnottyCow]

Men are so fickle, they hate being told what to do. If he’s anything like mine he’ll decide himself not to but the more you tell him the more he’ll dig his heels in.

I’d go with the “do you think that’s wise, considering how much we’re spending/are investing in this” approach then leave him to it. Make a point in saying “well you’re an adult I’m not going to nag you”..... then see what happens.

I agree with you. Us women go to such lengths with our Heath and bodies and all they have to do is one sample. He could wait until after.