Fertility Network UK

Question about egg donation to egg recipient ?

Hi

I haven’t been on here for a while as I have a son from nhs funded icsi and I am now looking into having another child and my best options

So I like the idea of egg sharing as I also get to help someone else who I know what they are going through and deserve some happiness !

But here’s what I wanted to ask I thought it was completely anonymous but it says any child that’s born has a right to find me at the age of 18 !

So the question is if you received a donated egg would you tell that child it isn’t your biological child or would they never need to know ?

I’m only asking as I don’t think I would want an 18 year old turning up on me as in my eyes I wouldn’t be it’s mother the person who carried them and gave birth to them and loved them all those years would be that persons mother don’t know if it’s just me but would really like your input !

Thanks

Hopeful holly

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Hi, I know of friends that where in this exact situation. It was a very stressful situation for all parties involved in one case where my friend did not felt any connection with her son and her own children felt annoyed this guy was trying to enter their lives but on the other case, the non biological mum had die when they were 4 or 5 years old so my friend kind of “adopted” her own son. The all family really accepted him as their own. Now it’s like he has always been there. The law does allow donators to be contacted after they are 18 am afraid. I guess it’s a risk you will have to take . 😕

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Hi Hopefulholly. Try not to worry about this, as you will be offered implications counselling to go through everything - and you can ask questions. Have a look at the Donor Conception website, which is full of information. It's a wonderful, thoughtful thing to do, and if you new as many families like I have known over the years that have been created from donor egg, sperm and embryos, it's just amazing. I wish you huge success with whatever you decide. Diane dcnetwork.org/

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The laws in the UK were changed a good few years ago so that egg donation or sperm donation is no longer anonymous which affected the number of people willing to donate. The donor conception network is very pro telling and you can get info from them. Its a very personal decision whether to tell or not to tell and Im sure everyone has their own reasons for either. Good luck with your decision going forward.xx

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Hi, I am a first time donor egg recipient who has just started a cycle in the UK as we preferred to have an identity release donor. The law changed in the UK some time ago to enable donor conceived individuals to identify their donor and donor siblings. We had excellent implications counselling via our clinic which enabled us to explore our options and make the best decision for us. Donor Conception Network is brilliant. I joined it about 6months ago and they put me in touch with women who had been through the same process as me and I was able to borrow books etc from their library. They have brilliant resources for all different types of donor conceived families and on the topic of “talking and telling”.

Very best of luck 🍀

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Even though we’ll go abroad for our DE IVF we’ll tell our child (if it works) that they were from a donor - even though they can’t find out who the donor was. If you go to the donor conception network they have a lot of articles about how sharing with your child from an early age means they’re less likely to want to find the donor later in life. Seems a big thing to say but I guess it’s so normal it doesn’t make them curious. The DCN actively encourage parents to be open for this reason. Most DE recipients I know have been or will be open too. x

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