Since being thrown back into the fertility clinic on Friday I’ve felt so deflated and my sleep has been worse than ever as I feel like my brains always busy.
I felt quite content with waiting until the new year and naively clinging onto the fact that maybe the D&C could of triggered natural ovulation and i might get my miracle (delusional I know) but now somehow I feel like it’s always been taken away from me again, I feel so strange I can’t even explain it. I go back on Wednesday for everything to be confirmed.
Now I’m starting to doubt if I can even put myself through another cycle, can I let my heart be broken once again. I’ve always been open to adoption, once I had my children it was what I wanted to do. I watched finding me a family and it broke my heart how many unwanted children there were. There was a family of 4 children who were classed as ‘un adoptable’ and I thought to myself I was adopt them in a heart beat. Im now seriously thinking should we just go down that route, years of treatment and all I have to show for is a broken heart. But on the other hand am I really read to give up on carrying my biological baby and having a living child. I’ve never felt so indecisive ☹️