Hi ladies,
This is my first time posting, although I’ve been lurking in the background for a while now admiring you all for your strength and wisdom and sharing the highs and lows of your journeys.
I’ve been TTC for almost 4 years now. Unexplained infertility, although there is some suspicion I don’t ovulate regularly (or at all if you ask me). Since January we have been on the IVF rollercoaster. I had a failed fresh transfer in February and a miscarriage at 7weeks with our first frozen transfer in the summer - the same day one of my best friends gave birth to her baby boy.
I had two frozen embryos put back on the 30th October and got my BFP 6dpt and although the tests wavered for a week they came back lovely and strong and kept increasing. The digital tests also showed my HCG levels increasing by progressing by weeks (although I did think at the time that they didn’t seem to be progressing fast enough - e.g. I only got my 3+ weeks result when I was technically almost 7 weeks). As you can imagine, we were both thrilled and anxious and the wait for the 7 week scan lasted a lifetime.
Last time, heading into that scan, I knew that we were going to get bad news. I didn’t feel confident and had prepared myself for the bad news, which we got. My pregnancy tests had started getting lighter and lighter into the lead up. This time was different, I felt positive and after seeing the increasingly good pregnancy tests I was sure we’d finally got the baby we had waited so long for. But it wasn’t good news.
I had the scan at 6w6d and was told there was a small gestational sac but nothing in it. I was told that it was highly unlikely anything would develop, that they would be expecting to see a yolk sac at least even if they didn’t see a baby and a heartbeat. They scheduled a second scan for today but we were all confident it was a blighted ovum.
Both me and my husband were utterly devastated and when I started spotting blood on Friday I was sure it was over. The bleeding didn’t progress properly until last night when I woke in the early hours to a proper bleed.
I have been in a fairly deep depression for a week and I dragged myself to the scan today, sobbing all the way there in the car, only to have my mind blown. I was scanned by the early pregnancy unit as opposed to my fertility unit. They found that the gestational sac has doubled in size since last week and there also now appears to be a yolk sac, which wasn’t there last week either. They also found my second embryo that had clearly implanted but collapsed almost right next to the one that continues to grow - not something that was picked up last week. They want to scan me again in 2 weeks & they say that will confirm either way whether a baby is growing.
Obviously, I need to be realistic about this. I am well aware that it’s highly unlikely this is going to be a viable pregnancy. I am technically 7w6d along so they should be seeing a damn sight more than they are seeing and I’m also bleeding quite heavily. But the flicker of hope has been lit once again and I know I’ll be utterly devastated all over again if in two weeks it’s bad news. I’m so exhausted with it all. I can’t understand why everything has to be this hard!
I guess I was just hoping that if anyone has had anything similar happen they might share their stories and any advice - both good and bad - so that I can try and prepare myself better for the next scan and try and ground myself in reality.
I’ll just end by saying how grateful I am that these groups exist - infertility is without doubt the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. It is lonely and all consuming. It is devastating and exhausting. It has changed me as a person. But when women come together and support each other, it is a little easier to bare. Thanks for listening and much love to you all xx
Small sac
Think it’s over
And so the wait continues
6 week scan pic đź’•
Update 
