Period just started so I'm feeling a bit down in the dumps anyway. I expected it to come as I'm so intune now with my PMS symptoms and was getting all the classics over the last week but I still have that little ray of hope each month just in case something might happen. I'm still being investigated so I'm still not sure whats stopping us conceiving (if there is one) and so a little hope is always there each month while we wait for all the tests and results.
So I've been feeling a bit peed off and low anyway not to mention the acne and horrible period cramps! And then my pregnant friend in our group of 10 (5 couples) puts a post in our whatsapp group to share the excitement that she's having a boy. I feel so bad for it but it's just made me feel horrible. On my low day of the month anyway and it just feels like a rub in the face. It feels like our whatsapp group at the mo is constant baby talk and we don't actually seem to talk about much else.
Now everyone is constantly messaging in response with messages of excitement. I haven't said anything yet but I don't feel like I need to in some ways. She's already announced her pregnancy and I've made my congratulations for that.
But I don't want people to think I'm being selfish but I just can't deal with it today of all days. They do all know I'm struggling but I don't want them to think bad of me.
I have muted the group (I do with most groups tbh) to save the constant buzzes from my phone.
Another thing is I've always pictured myself with baby boys (I have no idea why) so for some reason this upset me more.
I hate feeling like this. I want so bad to be happy for my friends but it's a struggle sometimes. I hate feeling like such an envious selfish person!
Rant over sorry!